How do I approach this? ******

Ask your manager and clarify that you don't want to get her in trouble, just want to figure out a good way to handle this.

Either that, or eat lots of beans and broccoli and fart in her general direction.

I was reading an article recently suggesting that workplace manners are declining rapidly among the 20s crowd. Its your generation, deal with it yourself. I've got my own office, punk, so its not my problem.

Can you please post the address of your office building? Several years from now, you're going to snap, and I would like to make sure I'm not in the vacinity where I might get hit by stray bullets. My prediction is that you will spend your last days running 15m laps around a small padded room.

I would leave an anonymous note on her desk telling her how disgusting or rude her habit is. but she might know it's you cause you are right across from her...

I'd open an anoymous hotmail account and then forward a link to proper eating etiquette and see if she gets the idea.

Why not request from your manager that you go to lunch exactly when your colleague starts eating at her desk. This way, you avoid her slobber time and nobody gets hurt. Also, your manager will be too interested in knowing why you would want to do this and then you can fill in the details. This will give you the opportunity to lodge your problems to the manager without actually filing a complaint. You feed the managers curiosity rather than give him/her one more problem to deal with.

You're in a "can't win" situation: if you complain to either your colleague or your manager and nothing happens, you've alienated others and come across as petty. If you complain and succed, you've alienated others and come across as petty.

My guess is that you're distracted by your colleagues munching because the work your doing is, at this point in time at least, not challenging enough. Don't despair, it will get better.

In the interim, try and arrange your breaks at the same time your colleague is eating (or likely to eat). If you can't do that, head to the washroom, the fax machine, the copy room, etc. -- in other words, keep busy while she's eating. If won't take long before you're simply not noticing her rudeness.

But don't forget: her disgusting habits are simply the thin end of the working wedge. You're going to run into dozens of other annoying habits, attitudes, smells, etc in your working career. How you deal with them in the future largely depends on how you react to this one.

Martin

I am fresh out of college but unable to spell cubicle, however my higher educated civilities are offended...

I predict a midlife crisis by 28; stress, depression and heart attack by 40; divorce, re-marriage and divorce (repeat every 4 years until 55) followed by an early and lonely death.

Unless ... you get out of that office and do something more suited to your personality and talents.

Ask her flat out to stop. Ask as politely as you can but do it. If that means "making waves" then make waves. Have a little backbone.

Rat Racer,

Dude, don't listen to the others telling you to have a backbone. You do need a backbone, but not for the reason they say. Just deal with it brother. She's obviously a pig, but for you to bring it up spells your doom, especially as a fresh out of college guy.

Know this:

1) There are annoying people at any job you will ever have. Just understand that going in. If you're going to let that kind of thing piss you off, then you're in a for a world of hurt as your career continues. People will call you "guy" or "ace" or "dude". Some a-hole will grab that thing on the back of your shirt and say "fag tag". Some will hate you because you're thin, and they'll tell you that too thinking that it's a compliment, and they'll say things like "I bet you can eat anything you want." You just can't answer back "Yeah, because I run 90 miles a week you fat bastard!"

2) This "girl" (better get used to calling her a "woman" unless she's 17 or younger) might not be your problem directly if you criticize her, but trust me, if you do, there will be others there who have been there 5+ years who will think you are some arrogant, high maintenance pain in the ass. Promotions are recommended or handed out by these other people, and even if you don't see yourself there for long, recommendations for hire at another company come from them too. After all the education is sifted through, jobs are gotten sometimes based on how well a person gets along with others, and if you do petty stuff like telling an adult woman to close her mouth when she chews, then you aren't getting along with others. If she hasn't learned to shut her mouth when she chews by now, then she will never learn it.

I've worked with a ton of pain in the ass people. One woman interrupts all the time - even her bosses. She has little chance to advance due to that one personality flaw. One guy would just never go along with what everyone else felt was the right way to go - he was an obstructionist to the nth degree, and not in a good way either. He was ALWAYS wrong.

Don't be a putz. Buy yourself some headphones and listen to music or something if your company allows it, and for God's sake, don't look into her disgusting mouth if it bothers you.

You will be egged on by know-nothings to say something to her, but trust me, the advice I'm giving you is the right thing to do. It is the MATURE thing to do and it is the PROFESSIONAL thing to do.

Just let it SLIDE.

If this is the biggest work problem you run into over the years, you have no problems.

Well, I see Martin gave kind of the same advice I did. I should have read it before I posted mine. Anyway, use mine just to further Martin's very good points.

Actually FW, aside from people telling him to do it surreptitiously (i.e. leave an anonymous note), I don't see anyone besides me telling him to have a backbone.

When you're a grownup, you deal with things like this directly. You don't sit there and stew about it. You don't write a secret note. You just wait for a moment when you are alone (so as not to embarass the person any more than necessary) and you bring it up however you can. YOu don't have to be arrogant or rude about it. Just ask her flat out if she could please refrain from making those noises. Couch in in whatever language you want. The point is to be direct and not antagonistic. If you do it once, calmly and let it go, and if the noises are truly as bad as you say they are, then you're not going to be ostracized or treated as "that guy". Half the people in the office will probably silenty thank you.

It's only when you dwell on this stuff or make a big deal about it that people start to wonder about you.

On the other hand, if you so afraid of the consequences and you can tune the noises out, then tune them out. But you made it sound as if you can't.

We only have your description to go on, but if it's as bad as you say it is, then keeping your mouth shut in that situation -- now THAT would be being a putz.

Average Joe,

I was referring to you and to others who may take your same approach.

Commenting to a woman about her eating habits in the work place is a BAD IDEA no matter how you approach it, and it is an especially bad idea for a fresh out of college kid to do it (perhaps not FAIR, but TRUE). Word will get out even if he talks to her quietly about it, because she will tell her friends what a shit he is, and trust me, he won't come out smelling like a rose, even if her friends agree that she eats like a pig. It has nothing to do with being adults and dealing with things directly. Being an adult means knowing what battles to fight, and this ain't one that should be fought. I mean, listen to how this sounds, "The way you chew your food really irritates me." How petty is that? Very.

I agree with you that the anonymous note thing is a bad idea. Better to deal with it the way I said - do nothing.

Have sex with her. I've never known this approach not to work with any office problem.

Flagpole Willy wrote:

Being an adult means knowing what battles to fight, and this ain't one that should be fought...

It's not a "battle". At all. I didn't suggest the guy go to upper management or anything. Just speak up once and be done with it. She'll either change her ways or she won't but at least he won't have been a wallflower.

I mean, listen to how this sounds, "The way you chew your food really irritates me." How petty is that? Very.

As I understood it, it wasn't so much how she chews her food as it was the volume she makes while doing it. He doesn't have to dwell on it and he doesn't have to describe how it irritates him. Just ask her if she could make less noise while she's eating. She'll get the message.

Regardless, doesn't sound petty to me, just direct. But different strokes, I guess.

Had a similar problem once.

Just buy some headphones and turn on some music when she eats. Unfortunately, I don't see a way to directly confront the problem without upsetting her. I think headphones would be the easiest way to live with it.

Give yourself time, you'll get over it. Welcome to the world of the cube. Also, don't go to your manager or HR about it, the general rule in the cubicle world is to let the pleebs sort out their own issues. Really, you are going to run into much MUCH more concerning issues than this, you dont want to waste your first bitch-and-moan card on smacking. If you simply cant get over it, try just saying something playfull to bring it to her attention you can hear her, like "Is it that good?" Alot of people honestly are not aware of how audible they are in their cubi-cells.

But seriously, this is not something you are going to count as a "issue at work" two years down the line in your next interview, and if it is, the HR person across the desk from you will immediatly shove you to the "nitpickybitch" pile of resumes.

Just let out the biggest loudest fart.That'll put an end to her bad eating habits.She'll get the hell up and move to another location when she eats.I did this at work and it works like a charm.