When you get caught. But only temporarily.
When you get caught. But only temporarily.
Here is the thing...this is what being in a relationship is. There are ups and downs. Things aren't always exciting. You don't get everything you want. If you really love someone, these things don't matter. If you don't, and you need something exciting because that person them self is not enough, you should move on because they are not the right person for you.
brofest333 wrote:
Married guys. I am 25, and had a serious girlfriend for 3 years steaming from college. By the end I just was so bored with only being with 1 woman. Things got old, things got boring. There was nothing new or sexy or exciting. This largely was a sign we probably shouldn't date anymore but I also felt the exact same thing from an earlier relationship. Now I just want to go on as many dates as possible, see and meet as many women as possible. It isn't even a sexual thing, I just got bored with being with one person all the time. The thing is we had great chemistry too, she was hilarious and never got mad.
So married guys does this feeling of wanting to be around other women sort of just fade in your mid 30s? It definitely hasn't changed at 25.
I've been married 6 years now and over the last year or so I have been thinking more and more about having an affair. This is mostly from a gorgeous girl I knew in college who moved back to town. I've had a drink with her a few times and I want to have an affair with her sooo bad, but things that are stopping me are:
1) I'm too chicken to try to jump her bones for fear of rejection.
2) I worry about the consequences if my wife found out.
3) I wonder if I would be able to live with myself after having an affair.
I honestly don't know the answer to the third one and this is probably what's really stopping me.
Mid-Life Crisis wrote:
I've been married 6 years now and over the last year or so I have been thinking more and more about having an affair. This is mostly from a gorgeous girl I knew in college who moved back to town. I've had a drink with her a few times and I want to have an affair with her sooo bad, but things that are stopping me are:
1) I'm too chicken to try to jump her bones for fear of rejection.
2) I worry about the consequences if my wife found out.
3) I wonder if I would be able to live with myself after having an affair.
I honestly don't know the answer to the third one and this is probably what's really stopping me.
The affair is irrelevant to be honest, you are already on a slippery slope - basically if you guys have sex then all the problems in 1-3 will be there....
If you don't have sex with her then you will always have this pent up frustration in you and most likely will take it out on your wife and make each other miserable.
Advice stop seeing the other girl and think if you want to be married to your wife - give it 6 months and be honest - if you don't then call the other girl up and get it on.
Lmao. Bunch of sad MF's in this thread.
Mid-Life Crisis wrote:
1) I'm too chicken to try to jump her bones for fear of rejection.
2) I worry about the consequences if my wife found out.
3) I wonder if I would be able to live with myself after having an affair.
It's mighty unfortunate that the spineless sex was endowed with the brawn.
Your heart has already cheated...
When the federal govt outlaws polygamy, even for religious reasons.
eriq wrote:
Could you imagine having sex with someone other than your wife?
_______________________________
Hell yes. Nut, that doesn't mean I will.
It never goes away. I've been married 20 yrs. I still want to bang most of my friends wives and most of the women I work with.
I dont want to marry them, or move away with them; but I'd certainly like a fresh piece.
Wow middle age life sounds miserable.
Face it, you're boring. If you want to change your life, change yourself.
Relationships are work. Very, very few relationships last without some effort on the part of both partners.
That being said, once you find the right comfort level with the right person, you won't have the desire to be with anyone else.
Doesn't mean you forget how to appreciate the female form, it just becomes more of a spectator sport.... the thought process goes from " wow, I'd like to get with that.." to "wow, she's hot" and it stops there.
I'll answer this honestly as a 35 year old who has been married for over 10 years...
I chose a woman who I knew very well, was from a good family and had similar interests, desires and morals. I think this has been extremely important.
We both keep very good care of ourselves and work hard to make each other happy. Do I still think other women are attractive? Sure, that is normal. Do I want to sleep with them? No way. It just wouldn't be worth it. In my opinion, it would be like trading a life's worth of healthy food for a bacon double cheeseburger. Sure, it would be good for the 20 minutes you're enjoying it, but you just lost something super valuable.
Once you add kids into the mix, an entirely new level of reasoning enters the game.
Earlier in the thread, someone mentioned that women notice when guys take care of themselves. This is true. Once you are in your thirties, most of your buddies look like crap.
I have a friend who cheated on his wife (and two daughters) with an eighteen-year-old stripper. No joke. His life came crashing down on him. I've talked to him about it and I really feel bad for him. At first he tried to legitimize it by starting a relationship with the stripper. He is a 37-year-old doctor. That quickly faded and now he is alone in a condo (albeit a million dollar one). His wife remarried and has a happy marriage.
I feel like one of the best traits to have in life is the ability to rationally think about the cause-and-effect of an action. Think it out. Take 2 minutes and ask yourself if it is worth it to cheat. If it is, you have other problems to address.
No one has talked about the spiritual nature of relationships, and I won't be the one to go into it because I know you guys hate religion...
I am not one who advocates marriage to any and all. I think it is a big decision. If you're happy being single, stay single. Just be responsible. Don't get diseases or become pregnant.
When does the urge to see other women go away
Once you get aboard ship
brofest33333 wrote:
Wow middle age life sounds miserable.
I think you guys are really having two conversations.
One is just looking at, and lusting after and appreciating other good looking women. That never stops. That is normal.
The other is wanting out. Actively trying to bed other women. That's a different game. That's lying. That's deceitful. That's bad.
Honestly123 wrote:
I'll answer this honestly as a 35 year old who has been married for over 10 years...
I chose a woman who I knew very well, was from a good family and had similar interests, desires and morals. I think this has been extremely important.
We both keep very good care of ourselves and work hard to make each other happy. Do I still think other women are attractive? Sure, that is normal. Do I want to sleep with them? No way. It just wouldn't be worth it. In my opinion, it would be like trading a life's worth of healthy food for a bacon double cheeseburger. Sure, it would be good for the 20 minutes you're enjoying it, but you just lost something super valuable.
Once you add kids into the mix, an entirely new level of reasoning enters the game.
Earlier in the thread, someone mentioned that women notice when guys take care of themselves. This is true. Once you are in your thirties, most of your buddies look like crap.
I have a friend who cheated on his wife (and two daughters) with an eighteen-year-old stripper. No joke. His life came crashing down on him. I've talked to him about it and I really feel bad for him. At first he tried to legitimize it by starting a relationship with the stripper. He is a 37-year-old doctor. That quickly faded and now he is alone in a condo (albeit a million dollar one). His wife remarried and has a happy marriage.
I feel like one of the best traits to have in life is the ability to rationally think about the cause-and-effect of an action. Think it out. Take 2 minutes and ask yourself if it is worth it to cheat. If it is, you have other problems to address.
No one has talked about the spiritual nature of relationships, and I won't be the one to go into it because I know you guys hate religion...
I am not one who advocates marriage to any and all. I think it is a big decision. If you're happy being single, stay single. Just be responsible. Don't get diseases or become pregnant.
I am not sure that I understand; your 37-year-old doctor friend is living in a million dollar condo and having affairs with 18-year-old strippers. It seems as though having an affair has lead him into a dream life that virtually every middle aged man desires and good on him!
A big mistake is to think that some one who you have a lot in common with is the right person to marry. My wife and I are going on 12 years and while we have some things in common we are definitely different people with our own interests. In many cases our personalities compliment each other. There are some things that you should be on the same page with (religion, money, kids) but you don't need your future wife to be a female clone of your self. That seems to be what everyone believes these days and it is kind of weird when you think about it.
Mid-Life Crisis wrote:
I've been married 6 years now and over the last year or so I have been thinking more and more about having an affair. This is mostly from a gorgeous girl I knew in college who moved back to town. I've had a drink with her a few times and I want to have an affair with her sooo bad, but things that are stopping me are:
1) I'm too chicken to try to jump her bones for fear of rejection.
2) I worry about the consequences if my wife found out.
3) I wonder if I would be able to live with myself after having an affair.
I honestly don't know the answer to the third one and this is probably what's really stopping me.
Do it. I doubt you'll get caught.
[quote]strike me wrote:
[quote]Mid-Life Crisis wrote:
I've been married 6 years now and over the last year or so I have been thinking more and more about having an affair.
I'm 53 and I find my self thinking more and more about how the hell Ty Cobb and Babe Ruth didn't make first ballot Hall of fame
then wake up an hour later with a sore back because that couch is F'ed
well.... wrote:
Here's the thing about marriage.
When I got married 20+ years ago, I made this promise:
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
It doesn't matter whether I have had any urges or not. I keep my promises. Until you're ready to do the same, don't get married.
And that's how it works, and why it's worth it.