How do you make your home totally safe? From intruders ..

A really big, scary-looking dog.

Live in the woods with whatever you can carry on your back. If you have no home, it will be 100% impossible for it to be invaded.

qkumbr wrote:

Surveillance cameras with alarms, fortified glass composites in windows, special ultra-strong door frames and locks.

What am i missing?

I JUST saw something on this the other day...a career criminal had turned his life around and was giving the details to a reporter about which homes in the neighborhood he would break into. Here's what he said:

1) Not if there's a sign of a dog. One advice for people without dogs is to put a dog bowl and dog chew toy by the back door.

2) Homes where doors are obstructed by bushes, trees, etc. He said that you might like the fact you've created a plant zone between you and your neighbor, but that's exactly what a burglar enjoys. So, he said to trim your bushes so that your doors can easily be seen by surrounding homes.

3) Home alarms don't necessarily deter. He said often they aren't engaged and that usually a blinking light on the control box can be seen from outside, indicating it's off.

thorn bushes in front of windows on the first level. also use claymores.

Dog

How do you title and inquiry ? by placing the question mark in the middle of the sentence.

Put up a sign saying " I dont know who you are. I dont know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I dont have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, thatll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you dont, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

For real though, my family's house got broken into when I was four. We had a German Shepherd named Champy. The police concluded from the scene that Champy chased the burglar around, bit him, and he only got away with a pair of earrings that my then-ten-year-old sister made.

Now they have two German Shepherds, and I don't think any burglar is coming close to that house.

Every house in my parents' street was burgled in the 14 years they lived there, except the ones that had dogs.

I leave windows wide open. It shows that I have nothing of worldly importance in my humble abode.

qkumbr wrote:

Surveillance cameras with alarms, fortified glass composites in windows, special ultra-strong door frames and locks.

What am i missing?

Ummm.. hiring Oscar Pistorius to keep watch?

2 words: Claymore mines

Moat filled with spikes and skeletons.

I'm calling bs on this one unless you're referencing a scene from pee-wee's playhouse.Normally I'd say you should have gone with a pitbull but I hear they make loosy guard dogs because of their innate friendly demeanor.

xenonscreams wrote:

For real though, my family's house got broken into when I was four. We had a German Shepherd named Champy. The police concluded from the scene that Champy chased the burglar around, bit him, and he only got away with a pair of earrings that my then-ten-year-old sister made.

Now they have two German Shepherds, and I don't think any burglar is coming close to that house.

Make up a fake sign something to the effect: Premises have obtained exemption from Dangerous / Exotic Animals restriction for 2 (then insert scary animal name here). For your safety and protection, please do not enter the yard without prior authorization and escort from armed homeowner. Kevlar animal bite suits available upon request.

You need a friend to make this work. Once inside your home have your friend use a large cement mixer to fully engulf your home in about 4 feet of cement - doors, windows, everything.

Almost no burglar will get in.

Baloney Sandwich Fan wrote:

How do you title and inquiry ? by placing the question mark in the middle of the sentence.

Are you sure? that's the way to write a question

what kind of intruders did you have in mind?