The Single Voice of Reason wrote:
KMB wrote:...
Thanks for your response, KMB. I'm not sure we'd ever agree wholly on some aspects of this situation, and I can understand how some friendship/professional relationship with the "accused" (so to speak) will give you a different view on the situation.
But I just think (and you've agreed, so I'm probably just repeating myself) that any unsavory personalities or participation by girls on the team are utterly irrelevant. Whatever Emma Kertesz is like (or any of the other girls) and whatever her motivations are, even if (hypothetically) one of them was prancing around naked in Hadsell's house when he came home one night, don't make him any kind of victim because he's clearly pretty messed up -- very juvenile, no understanding of boundaries, quite unprofessional, etc.
I mean, a well adjusted adult who takes their job seriously (instead of as some extended series of perks) can just NOT be involved with a girl. Or even, like, when you are in college -- your best friend's girlfriend asks you to sleep with her. If you're a decent person, you don't. If you DO sleep with her, you're a scumbag no matter how much she begged you.
I have no doubt some of the girls on Toledo's team are riddled with their own emotional problems -- what group of young people, especially a women's xc team (which are notorious for problems of grudges, eating disorders, whatever), isn't?
A responsible adult handles the situation. An effed up man-child who shouldn't be within 100 miles of the job he's lucky to have behaves like Coach Hadsell.
Some of my best friends in college were thoroughly messed up (emotionally, maturity-wise) female XC runners -- I never felt the urge to abuse their own problems to indulge my desire to get off. Or to wield power over other people.
He did. He deserves what he gets, regardless of anything else. And no matter what other texts were sent by either party, his own texts show a pretty messed up, narcissistic guy without an ounce of self control or respect for other peoples boundaries.
Because again, no matter what Kertesz is like (or what her agenda was), no adult authority figure should send any of the texts he sent. No one.