My parents are divorcing after 47 years of marriage.

Stop being so selfish. If this will make them happy, let it be. It's not like you are a toddler.

Great drama. Can't wait for the second installment.

I'm still waiting for the most important part of the first installment. Like, why are they getting divorced?

Is the warm towel intended to symbolize envelopment in the warm, protective womb of a woman's love? Are your parents destined to be reunited after a temporary fall out? Please, elaborate! I am thoroughly captivated by this most compelling story of love's fragility.

Do you normally comb your hair at the dinner table?

O.K., so there appears to be some questioning of my OP, so I'll go ahead and elaborate a little. My parents did not offer up a reason for their divorce. The breaking of the covenant is indeed blood on their hands. My mother offered my father the warm towel for no other reason than to take away the physical chill he was experiencing from the shock. My father is well aware that this fate they've walked into will indeed be the end of them, and rightfully so. My father worked many years on low, laborers wages making barely enough to send his children through Med. school. The mole on my father's cheek appears to have gotten larger with every drop of stress secreted into his bloodstream.

What shitty novel did you swipe this from?

It sounds like they grew tired of arguing with each other as to why you turned out so poorly.

Define "poorly"

Do you call someone making enough money to sail to Barcelona "poor"

Is this a book or a play?

Poorly as in sloblike with atrocious manners. An uncouth man who combs his hair at the dinner table in front of others.

Peter Vaginski wrote:

Poorly as in sloblike with atrocious manners. An uncouth man who combs his hair at the dinner table in front of others.

I perceive you to be a suprememly ignorant man, sir. I've come to this place looking for the least bit of balm to put on this emotional wound, and I end up getting this grotesquely rude responses.

crushed.. wrote: My father worked many years on low, laborers wages making barely enough to send his children through Med. school.

So now you earn lots of money. Are you deciding not to lift him out of his apparent impending poverty because you think divorce is immoral?

10/10 dude! bravo!

you are getting really good at this.

hook line and sinker all you suckers.

Have you had a dermatologist examine that mole? It could be quite serious if not taken care of soon.

crushed.. wrote:

The breaking of the covenant is indeed blood on their hands. .... The mole on my father's cheek appears to have gotten larger with every drop of stress secreted into his bloodstream.

This is the funniest thing I've read on here in a while! Keep it up,

Ok, I think I know what's going on with these weird threads the OP keeps making (there have been quite a few OPs written in this exact writing style). I'm pretty sure the OP is a creative writing teacher at either a high school or a community college. He's been receiving work from one student that is so bad it's funny and he's been posting it here on LR for our entertainment. Thank you, OP. These are really hilarious.

In David Foster Wallace's The Broom of the System, one of the characters is an aspiring short story writer. His writing style is such that everything comes across kind of cold even though he's trying to discuss serious and emotional issues. The stories are sprinkled throughout the novel and the flatness of the writing is just kind of humorous. These threads remind me of that.

My father had a mole on his back that kept growing until it bloomed like a flower then fell off. My parents are still together though, after 56 years.

Would have been better if in response to you combing your hair your Dad combed the hair growing from his face mole.