The best responses to "Run Forrest Run" heckling

Kansas is lamer than you thought .... geezus that movie is 10 years old. Was it just released in Kansas?

They're looking for a response out of you. Don't you get it? That is what they want. Like a child tearing the wings off an insect, they are still in that infantile emotional level of maturity in which they need validation by seeing that their actions can have an effect on another person. Makes them feel more real, I guess.

The inbred stupidity that engenders that remark also renders the idiots immune from any response you might make. No matter how good your remark is. Even if it's the most witty, scathing thing they'll ever hear, it will be useless. They're too stupid to understand sarcasm.

Best response is to ignore them as if they weren't there. I don't mean make a show of ignoring them. Rather, just realize that they are so inconsequential (which of course, they are) that you cannot even be bothered to care. After a while, you won't even hear them.

I either do nothing or (and I think someone on here might have given me this idea) play along and say "I just gotta find Bubba!!" in my best Forrest impression.

I usually get some laughs with that Bubba comment. Have fun with them or ignore it. Don't let it bother you.

The other day my friend and I were running by this fat girl at our school who said 'Run boys, run!" really mockingly, so my friend replies "Eat Fat girl, Eat!"

Ok, so it was funny at the time.

Bro, the post about ignoring them is pretty much true...except screw that man. Think of something so weird to do that they go home and tell their parents about it.

I either show them my hairy ass, or do really exagerrated masturbation motions. I love it when their parents are WITH them, they hear the kid yell, and still don't do/say crap to the child about it. In these cases, I'll either yell "Santa Clause is not real, your parents are lying to you" or "I have a really big dick, SEX SEX SEX!"

Try them.

George Kastanza would have said... well i had sex with your mother and she is chasing me...

just go up to them.. and beat the crap put of the them.. that always works..

stupid is as stupid does..

my last thing is that the more attention you give them the more they will hound you..

just give a thumbs up and keep running

My favorite was some guy with a fat ugly chick who both made a comment as I ran past. I turned around walked right up to them told the guy "I enjoy running and what it does for my fitness. Does taking your hog for a walk give you similar pleasure?" Then I looked at the chick and told her flat out that I'd rather masterbate for the rest of my life than ever be with such a repulsive lard ass. They were stunned. I am guessing the chick, if she hasn't committed suicide by now, will be crying herself to sleep every night as she ponders her reality. The guy is probably masterbating right now.

damn. Nice job.

i tell them that i'm going to go home and check letsrun and then come back with a witty response. usually works like a charm.

Actually, yesterday I had an encounter. I'm running on the side of the road in a pretty wealthy neighborhood, when this Ford Explorer comes honking past, honking at me and speeding. So, I do what comes naturally, I raise my arms with a "what!?". The Explorer pulls to the side of the road and this black woman gets out with curlers in her hair and starts mouthing off as I get close:

"Get on the sidewalk."

"The sideWALK is for walking."

"You must be some stupid son of a bitch running in the middle of the road," as she goes to the backseat of her truck to get what looks like laundry. So, after being called an SOB, I whip out:

"When you're done with his laundry, can you do mine SLAVE!"

It was awesome. She started cursing and her I heard son go "oh, bitch." Pretty sweet, but it ruined my run. Too much adrenaline pumping.

Don't you hate it when that happens: you're in a great zone, having a great run when someone either honks or yells at you. Betcha the same doesn't happen in Kenya.

Um, I think the slave comment is a bit out of line, buddy.

That was lame. Fighten Words has you all beat.

Don't be sissies. It gives runners a bad name. An 800 runner on my college track team beat the living shit out of a smart ass frat guy who spat those words at a group of us as we were warming up for a workout. It was awesome.

Verbal retorts will not do. Even if it is a little kid or even if it is lighthearted, an ass kickin' is always appropriate. If you are a weakling like me, it is still better to start something and get your ass kicked than to walk away. You can always grab a stick or break off a beer bottle...

If you are really not in the mood to fight, the only acceptable replacements are throwing something hard at them (rocks hurt like hell) or spitting a nasty green loogie in the face of the offender (I've used this effectively with little kids).

Normally, I believe that conflicts can and should be settled with words, but by making a dumbass redneck comment, the insulter has revealed her or himself to be too ignorant to intellectualize with. They are verbal terrorists and what they need (the absolute only thing that will change their behavior in any way) is a severe ass kicking.

The last time somebody gave me the "Run Forrest" bit, I took his (a junior high boy) bike and threw it in a nearby pond. Then I kept doing my run....I really regret not kicking his prepuber ass. It wakes me up at night sometimes. I should have held his head underwater and then given him a black eye. I'm a pussy.

"JASON MAYEROFF'S YOUR DADDY" It has the added benefit of possibly being true.

I usually flip them off but if your in that whole don't give them the pleasure of reacting thing then you could just pretend you can't hear them and keep saying huh? what? until they get pissed off and leave you alone. If your bi-lingual or know a lot of words in a foreign language then you could just say random words and trick the dumbass into thinking you don't know English. When they preceed to talk trash and start swearing because they think you can't understand them break out a couple of insults in english to really suprise them.

howd you know my name is forrest???

Sit Lardass Sit.

Since I really only get this kind of shit from kids, I find chasing them is usually good enough. I chase them, catch them, and they are all scared. Then I push them down and leave.

Throwing the kid's bike in the pond is a good one though.

Not sure what I'd do if some adults started talking shit....

Maybe do that Jackass thing where the guy strips down to his g-string and grinds away on the security cop. Just say "I want to party, take off your pants, and start flailing"