1. I'm interested, but it is the kid's decision and there are other factors at play. I have opinions, but they are usually of the minority variety, thinking kids should think twice about going with the best scholarship offer or going to the team that placed the best at NCAAs that year. They're not my athlete after HS, and I think too many (especially young) coaches get overinvolved as if they are being recruited. It's great that you care about your job and create good opportunities for kids, but loosen up on the control issues.
2. What is a strong enough program? The reality is most kids still need to work their asses off to do well in college, especially at the D1 level. What's a qualified coach? Someone who has a proven track record of success, or someone whose personality really clicks with your athlete?
3. No, I have a conversation with them and find out what type of person they are, what they think is important, and usually tell them about my athlete. Training is one of the most overrated things to speak about. So what if the training program is similar, maybe something difficult will stimulate a kid's development better. Furthermore, NCAA XC is entirely different than HS, as is track. Different distances, different schedules, different age/maturity level...the training probably should be different. It just seems like an asinine question to ask.
4. No, if they want my advice, they get a bit, but it's mostly just making sure they've thought about all the reasons they like that school, and not just the program. And if a lot hinges on the program, then they should be sure that running is going to be a major focus, especially if there is a scholarship attached. I think HS coaches forget about the aspect that there is also a responsibility of the athlete to the program once they accept that scholarship.
I coached at both HS/college levels...had good times doing both. Recruiting was fun at times, and I know how obnoxious HS coaches can be sometimes. I've been at both ends of the calls, and had plenty of experience with athletes succeeding beyond their expectations, as well as with "ruining" other athletes...all depends on perspective.