I'm running Sunday

Plan accordingly. I hear there is some subway station construction going on in Brooklyn. Expect train delays.

Maybe you and kohlberg can work together. Apparently he has an all-american certificate!

Big brother has his eyes on you.....he will get you a cab to the Bronx and a bus back to central park

Dear Martin,

There's nothing wrong with a little subway break. Just hammer the first 10km at a good pace (make sure to take a walking break at every even mile post) and after you cross the 10K chip mat, make a left on 9th St and jog over Gowanus Canal to the G train terminal - take the G train (while you rest) all the way to Greenpoint Av where you should be recovered enough to come back to the ground level and run across the mat at the halfway point. No need to rush it, there is still plenty of time to finish. But then you will be tired again, so right after you go under the LIE, make a left to the Vernon Blvd station and recover on the 7 train to Grand Central and then on the uptown 4 express. Get off at 125th, trot three blocks to the east, cross the Willis Ave Bridge (watch out for the incline, don't push it too hard) and once you get into the Bronx the 20-mile chip mat should be right there. Your best bet after that is to haul ass to the 138th St station and take the downtown 6 to 125th and there transfer to downtown 4 express to 59th St, and then you really need to start kicking to catch up to the leaders as they round Central Park South. Due to sufficient rest, you should have no problem hammering those last 1000m, although the steep hill right before the finish might prove quite challenging. But the fat check for a few thousand dollars is sure worth the sweat, the sacrifices, and the $4 for the MTA Fun Pass. Good luck and I hope you will benefit from my program!

Martin, after hearing of your road racing return here in the Northwest (we seem to breed serial killers and cheaters!) this past year, 28:40 five milers and the like, I feel a 2:10 marathon is more in your reach this year. Please feel free to extend your stay in the New York area forever! Now I feel better. Thanks!

So did you pay Silvio Guerra to carry your chip or what?

Guerra be hair faster than 2:12.

Martin, I am going to give you a plane ticket to Las Vegas for the Las Vegas Marathon.

After that, my dear Uncle Chris is going to take you up to CarsonCity for you to spend some time in the showers at the Nevada State Penitentiary where he serves the State Of Nevada as a guard. Go ahead boy, bend over and pick up the soap!!!!

Uh, your uncle is into anal rape? Gee, we couldn't have guessed that you'd be related to someone like that!