I want to hunt/kill a whale (seriously). How do I make this happen?

I think killing animals for entertainment is FANTASTIC. After finishing my nightly, frenzied bouts of porn-fuelled masturbation, I go sleep thinking of slaughtering any creature I can. Please help me with my quest - but remember, that despite being 35, I still live with my mother and will have to be back from whale killing by 8pm at the latest.

R1 wrote:

I've been a hunter my whole life. I am obsessed with traditional whaling. I would like to go on a whale hunt; what would be the best route to make this happen? I know traditional whaling is still allowed on Bequia, but they go years without getting a whale. Where could I go, and how would I be able to convince the locals to take me whaling? I can only imagine they would be a bit reluctant.

Greenland? Alaska? Russia? I really have no idea. Any help would be appreciated. And, no, this is not a troll, and yes, I might be a little "off" in the head. But this is my dream.

R1 wrote:

Where could I go, and how would I be able to convince the locals to take me whaling?

Any help would be appreciated. ... I might be a little "off" in the head. But this is my dream.

Seeing as how this site is where your dreams become reality, I would check with the pirate looking guy from the thread above about the guy who snapped. Have him take you with him, and he will help you find your whale.

I'm asking for help in regards to a lifelong dream, asshole. It isn't about killing a whale to get my dick hard.

R1 wrote:

I'm asking for help in regards to a lifelong dream, asshole. It isn't about killing a whale to get my dick hard.

If your lifelong dream is to kill a whale, then you need professional help. Perhaps I can hold some children on the ground for you, so you can kick them, tough guy?

R1 wrote:

Thanks. I just re-read Sebastian Junger's story on the traditional whalers in Bequia, it has me fired up. The ultimate for me would be a traditional hunt for Narwhal in a kayak in Greenland, but this may be a bit unrealistic. I'll do some research on the coastal tribes in Washington and Alaska.

Thanks for the book tip. I've always loved the idea of native cultures hunting whales. It can make a politically correct mind do back flips.

You definitely need to go to the Whaling Museum in New Bedford, if you haven't been there already.

Don't look for a quick trip to catch a whale. It's not like a fishing trip in the Bahamas. Even at the height of American Whaling, boats could go out for 5 years or so to catch what they needed to catch.

You'll probably get better responses over at letswhale.com

In June 2002, the Snokomish tribe successfully petitioned the state of Washington for the right to hunt and kill a killer whale, in the grand tradition of their ancestors.

They fired up their longboat, left the commercial docks at Anacortes, and powered their way to Shaw Island. Meanwhile, the rest of the tribe did a few dances in anticipation of the great hunt, and return of these modern day warriors. When harpooning a killer whale became too challenging, and the day was coming to an end, the chief did what any good hunter would have done - pulled out the fire stick. Using a semi automatic rifle, they successfully obliterated a killer whale, tied it up to the boat, and hauled it back in, to the great delight of the tribe. It was getting dark fast, so a few photo opportunities were in order, followed by prayers and speeches, and finally filleting of the whale.

Later that week, Anacortes park and game personel removed 1800 pounds of rotting whale from the shore.

I saw a show on PBS about killer whales and people hunting larger whales together in Australia/New Zealand around 1900-1920 or so. It was pretty interesting. The whales would smack the water and tell the people that some sort of baleen whale was passing near the coastline and then the people would row out and they would kill the bigger whale.

If whales hadn't been hunted to the point of near-extinction in the 1800s, then I'd say go for it, but there's too few whales out there, in my opinion.

I know a few fat chicks...

Go to Walmart. Tons of whales there.

[quote]R1 wrote:

I see the justification for such a thing/quote] Not sure if I should even bother asking, but what is it?

You are a douche and should probably worry about killing you self first. Any dream that involves killing an endangered species is probably more than "a little off in the head". I hope you never succeed in you dream.

You need to get in training first before going for the real thing Get a couple of these launched into your bath:

http://www.thebigzoo.com/shopping/shopexd.asp?id=10126

Maybe borrow your mom's knitting needles and some sewing cotton and you are away. I'd start on the little one first if I was you

Please describe your method of whaling. I am only familiar with 19th and 20th century methods. For those, you will need a lot of rope.

retard trap wrote:

You are a douche and should probably worry about killing you self first. Any dream that involves killing an endangered species is probably more than "a little off in the head". I hope you never succeed in you dream.

Not all whales are endangered

My dream is to hunt a dog and kill it with my bare hands and then roast it and eat it. Where would this be legal? Spain maybe?

good thread. good luck with the whaling!

R1 wrote:

It isn't about killing a whale to get my dick hard.

No, but that's a nice side benefit.