PROPOSED EDIT
These are only my opinions and ideas, but I thought it might help you in condensing your thoughts. You should still spend more time editing and proofreading it yourself. I highlighted word choice (not grammatical) changes and comments.
Don't capitalize and don't use quotation marks after the first incidence when you talk about "The Feeling" within the essay; it's not a trademark! And watch out for sentence fragments. Also pronoun reference. Fight exaggeration.
You need to make up your mind whether this is an essay to describe the passion of running or to insult non-runners. If the sentiment is not on-topic with the essay as a whole, leave it unsaid.
The Feeling
By Mike Oh
Never was it for ribbons, medals, trophies, or material awards. Nor was it for fame, attention, and those 15 minutes in the spotlight. Each of these things contributed to "the feeling", but none defined it. Mirages on the horizon, the blistering pavement (avoid cliches- like frying an egg on the pavement), the perspiration (persperation perspiring???) trickling down the chin and landing in a single continuum of droplets which sizzle on the boiling black tar, heels pounding the surface: This is the feeling. Freezing temperatures nipping at exposed skin while out on a midnight stroll, coming back paralyzed, unable to move even the eyelids, the sweat freezing on the face, leaving a white snowy glow to the skin: This also is the feeling. Only the runner trains as if the question of life or death depended upon his daily workout.
Sitting in class, the car, the comfy sofa, the coffee shop, (the balloon ride??? this may have significance for you, but not for anyone else) day in and day out running is on the mind. Facts, figures, numbers, times are blotched with fingerprints and paper wrinkles as if they had gone through ages of sifting, no matter how recently they were printed. Four ovals do not equal a full mile, but are short eight measly meters. To the non-runner this may be like knowing that Hawaii only contains one school district. But to the runner this is the factor between the great time and the mediocre achievement. Books and magazines spill out of the runners' racks and bookshelves because the runner continually seeks literary affirmation to reestablish his relation to running through memories and fantasies.
The arrogant remarks and cacklings surfacing around about why we run... I think you should leave out this whole paragraph. It's more of a personal attack on non-runners than an explanation of why running gives you the feeling that you celebrate. Refering to people as ozone-depleting slobs is probably not acceptable for a school essay, and has nothing to do with your subject.
The track workout is one of the most dreaded workouts because it brings an intense challenge against physical and mental barriers. Rounding the oval on the twelfth 400 meter sprint repeat or climbing the mile hill mountain workout causes muscles and throats to scream in a raspy sandy fiery shock telling the runner to stop. (Begging on wounded knees... Delete. Overdramatic, mixed metaphors, just doesn't make sense.) However, the mentality of the runner is much stronger than that. As we know, ?whatever does not kill me, can only make me stronger.? During races everything is on the grey scale except the uniforms of rivals like stampede of gazelle running from their predator the lion (more mixed metaphors in this sentence). Every race demands strategy because of the twists and turns of the courses. From first sight the decision has already been made by the runner. He contemplates whether to play the course out as a friend or as an enemy to his rivals, but in the end there is only one choice: to run his heart out. During the race coaches, fans, teammates, and rivals yell encouragement and taunts (lyrical limericks!?!? what kind of coaches do you have?), adding fire to the furnace and pushing the runner to a faster pace. The hazy view, the crazy thoughts that go on during the race: ?Why am I foolish enough to exert myself to this much pain?? Near the end of the race, lactic acid is stockpiling in the muscles and working against the runner. Lactic acid is the slow motion button of the running world. The last frames of movement seem like days. Each muscle slitting arm pump, each leg stride, each breath of lackluster energy fights against the runner. But in the end either the effort is well rewarded or it is another tragedy that must be tallied to one's table of losses which they track in their hearts, souls, and feelings. that last sentence sounds vaguely copied from OAR.
The morning to the runner is another beautiful portrait to be painted with a run at the crack of dawn. Throughout the day we feel fresh, clean, and vivid to take on challenges that are presented to us. After even the simplest workout our heads and eyes grow heavy when faced with homework. Yet the runner maintains one of the highest academic grade points of any athlete. Is it because runners are birthed with intellectual minds or is it because of the real life efforts and dedication which we face through running that we are naturally gifted in academics? Muscles are constantly sore, not just the little soreness left behind after a day of snowboarding but the soreness which is buried beneath muscles down to the marrow of the bone; this pleasure striking each and every day. Waking up with regrets from the physical hurt, we do it. We do it regardless of negative remarks, physical, mental barriers, and money costing time. You seem to have a martyr complex. Most likely you are not important enough to these people for them to despise you. Anyway, if you want to write about people hating runners, make a separate essay for that.
Relations, friendships, and bonds are created among teammates and some become the very best of friends. We realize the powers that each other possesses and the mentality created by the demands of the sport. The true friendship is created among the grim faces we put on before every workout. Whether chilling at another runner's house, running shirtless in the snowy days, or bus rides filled with memories, runners must be some of the craziest humans to roam the earth. We spend time running. Doing another workout with team mates, visiting cemeteries at night in which lie the names of past school principles, or setting the brownie eating record of 31 after four plates of food at a local buffet make us crazy. After all this sport is co-ed! This paragraph is a little too informal and doesn't have much to do with running. It would be better to focus on how working together as a team, common goals, etc. contributes to a deep friendship.
So far it may seem as though the runner lives a fabricated and painless lifestyle, but the true runner deals with anguish, resentment and pride. Sometimes goals are a good thing. A bad thing. And just because we think them or write them down does not mean we will be able to accomplish them. By setting high goals the body is forced to its physical limitations with more chances- like Russian roulette at best, to get injured, forcing red-shirted seasons, making one feel depressed and hopeless. Not meeting daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals depresses the runner because of all the hard work has not yet achieved the promises we wanted. But after this type of season, we continue to work harder, sweating, breathing, eating, living, running. The risk of not running depresses the runner and is a big deal for the truly dedicated. But we still take a gamble, because without hard work, top times will never be achieved.
Running can be related to life in many ways. Sacrifice, dedication, passion, and vision are (Delete: All of this the non-runner will never face. That's a pretty presumptious statement. I hope you don't mean that. real life lessons taught through running: Pain, patience, perseverance, and wanting. The non-runner will never truly understand what it means to be a runner. The feeling will never be the same. The English language limits me to writing with such passion as I feel about running. Crazy as it may seems, running is the top priority in my life, I love it more than anything else. Perhaps that is what the great Japanese marathoner Toshikeko Seko means when he said ?Running is my girlfriend.? This is what running will do to you. Now do you understand the feeling?