To be honest I never have and never would, just thought it would be an interesting topic. Its probably been brought up before but havent seen it on the board.
Did you cheat and tell or did you cheat and never tell your partner? (who you may still be with now)
Did you feel remorse and how did it affect your relationship?
Did you cheat with or without sex?
Im not a creep just want to understand peoples mindset behind cheating. Would be good if we got a healthy female response too.
Never have. I've always been a one-at-a-time guy--finish one relationship before starting another.
That's not making any statement about the future. I'm not in a position to judge anybody else's actions.
The same for me.
I'm 23, haven't been in a WHOLE lot of serious relationships, but no. And I never would. Just not my personality I guess, even though I don't think that'd be an excuse anyway...
It's hard enough to find one woman to sleep with me, let alone two.
I never have.
From this sampling of runners who use message boards it seems like runners never cheat.
I have, felt pretty bad for a while and wanted to tell my girlfriend but never did. I was in college and she was still in highschool. I got over it because I told myself how boring my girlfriend at home was (she wasn't very outgoing) and eventually things ended when I got over the desire to have the security feeling of a relationship.
I've been with someone new when the old relationship was on its last legs, but never when it was something that was intended to endure. That's never a good idea. Ever. I guess I'm only half a jerk.
I haven't cheated and never would, but I've been cheated on twice while in long-term relationships. In both cases the girl was a victim of sexual abuse in her childhood.
Guys usually cheat to stroke their own ego, but girls who cheat are often pretty messed up. If your partner was sexually abused (that you know about) deal with that crap with professional counseling before it ends up biting you both in the ass.
On the boards wrote:
Did you cheat with or without sex?
How do you cheat without sex?
Do the thought police come for you?
Well I always thought there were more sexual acts than sex itself, including the most elementary - kissing. Maybe im missing something but would you not count it as cheating if you caught your OH kissing another man/woman? I certainly would
Uh, Blow-jobs don't count, right?
um.
I've cheated on every bf ive ever had. They've never known, and thought i was an angel :)
letsruin wrote:
If your partner was sexually abused (that you know about) deal with that crap with professional counseling before it ends up biting you both in the ass.
thats an overly ignorant comment.
your a moron
I cheated once in college, and the next day, I broke up with my long distance boyfriend over the phone. I had already made the decision to break up about a week previous, but had been planning to wait until I could see him face to face. After that though, I decided that the unfairness of stringing him along for another two weeks outweighed the unfairness of being dumped on the phone. I didn't tell him I'd cheated because it would have just make him feel worse. The other guy wasn't someone I'd lined up to take my boyfriend's place- it was a one time thing where flirting got taken too far. IMO it was more a matter of college immaturity and inexperience than some kind of pathological emotional problem.
I haven't ever cheated since then. I don't get into long distance relationships and the only way I would is if it were with someone I was certain I was deeply committed to. And if I know that a relationship is on it's way out, I end it quickly instead of dragging it out while being tempted to move on.
worryfreeguarantee wrote:
thats an overly ignorant comment.
your a moron
that's
you're
Every situation is different, but after much research and personal hardship I speak only from my own experience. I don't think trying to share what I've learned makes me a moron, especially since it's sage advice that could prevent a lot of people from being hurt the way I have been. Maybe you have a personal story that you could enlighten us with, but having been through counseling twice with a childhood sexual abuse survivor, I've come to realize that most survivors and their partners benefit greatly with some form of counseling.
letsruin wrote:
worryfreeguarantee wrote:thats an overly ignorant comment.
your a moron
that's
you're
Every situation is different, but after much research and personal hardship I speak only from my own experience. I don't think trying to share what I've learned makes me a moron, especially since it's sage advice that could prevent a lot of people from being hurt the way I have been. Maybe you have a personal story that you could enlighten us with, but having been through counseling twice with a childhood sexual abuse survivor, I've come to realize that most survivors and their partners benefit greatly with some form of counseling.
why dont u start a thread stating that females who have been abused as a child should undergo some sort of counseling rather than making a proclamation that females cheat bc they have been abused during childhood.
The original topic was about cheating, and what motivates someone to cheat. I never claimed that all females cheat because of childhood abuse, but some do, and I was sharing my experience to help the original poster understand the mindset of some cheaters.
Do you have anything helpful to contribute to this thread?
i havent cheated, but ive assisted a girl in doing so and i've been cheated on. after both experiences i would never, ever cheat.
Alright, I guess it will be up to me to play the asshole:
I've cheated on girlfriends. Some multiple times. And I've been cheated on too. Most of the times I was drunk, some of the times I wasn't. Some of the times I felt bad about it, most of the time I didn't.
Did I ever tell? No, why would I? What kind of idiot would do that? All that brings is arguments and hurt feelings...why would you actually want to hurt someone you're in a relationship with, no matter if you're going to break up with them or not?
And before you jump down my throats and say, "but aren't you hurting them by cheating?" the answer is: Not if they don't find out. I'm not stupid about it - I didn't cheat on them with their best friend, or classmate, or someone who they know. And I don't do it more than once - no phone calls, no emails, no numbers stored in my phone.
I'm wondering if a lot more people on this board don't cheat because they can't actually get girls to begin with?