This year's NCAA was good but let's face it: we are simply not up to par with the rest of the world that lives in a small region of eastern Africa. I have been following this sport for awhile and I have the following suggestions. Please add to them as you see fit:
1. It is time for American Distance Runners to start using drugs. Now, I know what you're saying. "Drugs are bad, they are unfair, they unlevel the playing field, blah, blah, blah. BUT I am not talking about performance enhancing drugs, I am just talking about straight drugs. Imagine Chris Solinsky winning the 5k this year; now imagine him all tweaked out on cocaine and scratching his nose while he runs around the track with his eyes all glazed over like he hadn't slept in weeks. Frankly, McDougal looks like a pansy. Now, if that guy shot an armload of heroin, I bet he would still look like a wimp but he would have needle tracks all over his arm and he would get kicked out of Liberty and we would all be like "Damn, that dude doubles every meet and he does heroin."
2. Leg viscosity is a huge problem with American runners. When I look at those African runners on the track, it looks like their legs are all greased up from putting lotion on them or something. Maybe it drips off their hair but I don't know. I got to thinking, maybe we should grease up our legs? I mean look how ashy Rupp's legs look in those pictures. He needs to drop a bottle of astroglide on those wheels before he races these grease pits.
3. We need to work on race tactics. Most of these things either go out slow and then kick in fast or some front runners just takes it out hard and runs a time trial. What ever happened to strategy? Why aren't we using the old elbow to the sternum to puncture a lung technique? I mean back in the day didn't they generally stab the favorite with a rusty pen knife in lap 8 or 9? These kids today are soft. If some guy from east Africa wants to sit on us, then I say we first dry his legs off (cause you don't want touch their nasty legs) and then inject his ass mid-race with an unsterilized needle of EPO. Then we all rat him out saying stuff like "I saw him with a needle and he is friends with Osama." Then Wes Smith can drop the needle in the dude's gym bag while he is running his last lap (no one will notice that Wes is missing for a minute or so).
Again, these are just three ideas. You guys probably have more but I just want to get the thread going because I love America.