Perhaps I need a paradigm shift.
John Stanton, owner of the Running Room Walking Stores, professional supermodel, elite athlete, coach and spreader of viruses, published yet another amazing company newsletter. He recently hand delivered them to the doors of millions of unsuspecting Canadians, I am one of them.
To give his periodical tomb justifiable perspective; it was as thick as a Runner's World Magazine and filled to the staples with fine editorial content, which only Mr. John Stanton could have borrowed from some valid interpreter of human physiology, like Frank Shorter or Arthur Lydiard. The former, whom he name drops and calls his 'good buddy'.
Frank, I hope, gets the willies from this apparent relationship hijack.
As all unsuspecting runners in this country will do, when picking up a publication rendered by the Running Room, we drop it immediately. Followed by a quick and cursory look around to make sure no one saw us handling said gulag propaganda.
I picked it up again and started to leaf through the shiny, happy pages. I was looking for pages of Mr. John Stanton fulfilling his role of supermodel. Sadly, I found only three pictures of him, this time. I was highly disappointed by this apparent lack of narcissism. I can only speculate at this point as to what caused this turn around. Perhaps he forgot to pull out of some prone staff member before the flash went, again I can only speculate.
I then came across no less than three editorials written by him. John Stanton gave himself no less than 5 pages of 10 font training information, to deliver to all the prospective Walking/Running Room customers in the land. Whereas local fast-guy and sponsored athlete (to remane maneless) (2:25 marathon), was provided with approximately 60 words to get on his knees and thank the Running Room for decorating his outfit with miniature Running Room logos.
I once walked into the Running Room to purchase a copy of an Arthur Lydiard book. Scanning the racks of gulag propaganda, I found a wide selection of publications, by the Running Room, authored (as in 'fathered' a bastard son) by who else? supermodel, John Stanton.
I asked the clerk if she had any books by Arthur Lydiard. I can understand if she responded with something like, "no sorry we don't, Lydiard books are most easily found at the library". Which would have been an accurate and thoughtful answer and exhibiting professional-like behavioral traits.
She responded with, "who"?
I turned on my heal and sped out of there faster than Scooby and Shaggy in a ghost factory.
If you want to run races, there are several that the Running Room doctor up, like a M*A*S*H unit. Heck if you are taken with the notion of running inaccurate courses, without timing implements and steeped to the laces with super high prices, take in a Running Room race. You are sure to be afforded special Romper Room apparel complete with Running Room and Walking Room logos and certainly a publication from the Running Room, authored by non else than Mr. John Stanton, Elite Supermodel.
You got to give it to him, he sure outshines the little guy. I think I will call him up and offer to promote and sell a franchise he should see as equitable - the Running Housewife.
That's actually not going to work, he already steals from them in his role as supermodel and coach. Perhaps I need a paradigm shift, point me to the wall of $50 utility belts and set me loose.