This would solve the abortion problem as well as famine and starvation. I mean, who would want to get it on when everyone is sitting in their own filth all day? Has this woman never had a BM?
This would solve the abortion problem as well as famine and starvation. I mean, who would want to get it on when everyone is sitting in their own filth all day? Has this woman never had a BM?
"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming," Crow wrote.
And this is all that she could come up with?
Maybe she only uses one square and always has big NHRA skid marks. That's why Lance dumped her.
I'll start using one square when Cottonelle or Charmin comes out with their 20-ply brand, where each roll can only be about 15 squares because it's so damn thick.
Seriously, of all the things to target in your attempts to improve the environment...
Ok, I just ate a huge bowl of Thai coconut soup, about six deviled eggs, a bowl of strawberries, a Carl's Jr. chili burger, and washed it down with a pot of coffee.
I'll use one square of toilet paper if Cheryl Crow will wipe me, but other than that...
One square of toilet paper would be completely absorbed by the conglomerate of sh*t on my ass after this episode and be incorporated as a dingleberry.
Cheryl Crow must have a Brazilian waxed a$$ that leaves only a vague residue after even the most sumptuous of her vegan raw foodist meals. A hairy dude like me, though? I'd need a mason's trowel to finish the job.
Cheryl, I implore you in the name of all things holy to take up another cause, and let the good people of the world throw the deuce in peace!
* 589 AD: the first mentioning of toilet paper in China
* 851 AD: the first foreign source (Arab-Muslim) to confirm the use of toilet paper in China.
* Early 14th century: first records of the massive amounts of toilet paper manufactured in China.
* 1391: 720 sheets of toilet paper produced in China for the Hongwu Emperor's court, while 15000 special sheets were produced solely for the royal family. Sheets were approximately 60cm x 90cm.
* 1596: invention of the flushing toilet
* 1700s: newspaper is a popular choice of toilet paper, since it is widely available[citation needed]
* 1710s: the bidet invented.
* 1792: the Old Farmer's Almanac begins publication; there are several publications by the same name, as well as the Farmer's Almanac, which began publication in 1960. Pages from these publications were often ripped out and used as toilet paper, and later editions have holes punched in them so they could be hung from a hook in outhouses.[citation needed]
* 1857: Joseph Gayetty sells first factory-made toilet paper (Gayetty's Medicated Paper) in the USA. These were loose, flat, sheets of paper, pre-moistened and medicated with aloe; each sheet has Gayetty's name printed on it. It sold at five hundred sheets for fifty cents and was known as Gayetty's Medicated Paper - "a perfectly pure article for the toilet and for the prevention of piles." An advertisement for Gayetty's Medicated Paper can be found here.
* 1877: The Albany Perforated Wrapping Paper Company of Albany, New York sells Perforated toilet paper ('The Standard'). It is sold 'by all the leading druggists' and is not medicated. It is marketed as being free of 'all deleterious substances' which includes printed materials and chemicals 'incident to the ordinary process of manufacture (which is) a cause of hemorrhoids.' In addition, medicated toilet paper which is 'heavily charged with ointment' was offered for 'sufferers of hemorrhoids.'
* 1879: Scott Paper Company sells the first toilet paper on a roll, although initially they do not print their company name on the packaging. Toilet paper was sold under the name of various industrial customers, including the Waldorf Hotel, which led to the popular Waldorf brand of toilet paper.
* late 19th century: rolls of perforated toilet paper available for the first time, replaces razor or knife on dispensers
* 1900: plumbing improvements of the Victorian era have led to wide use of flushing toilet and (in Europe) the bidet
* 1935: Northern Tissue advertises its toilet paper as "splinter-free"
* 1942: first two-ply toilet paper from St. Andrew's Paper Mill in England; toilet paper becomes softer and more pliable. For most of the rest of the twentieth century, both 'hard' and 'soft' paper was common. Hard was cheaper, and was shiny on one side. Sometimes it had messages like 'GOVERNMENT PROPERTY', 'IZAL MEDICATED' or 'NOW WASH YOUR HANDS PLEASE' written on each sheet near the perforation. Eventually soft paper won out as the price differential between the two papers vanished. Hard paper is seldom seen these days in UK, but is still available.
* 1943: novelty toilet paper printed with images of Hitler
* 1973 December 19: comedian Johnny Carson causes a three week toilet paper shortage in the USA after a joke scares consumers into stockpiling supplies
* 1980: the paperless toilet invented in Japan (combination toilet, bidet and drying element, see Japanese toilet)
* 1990s: papers containing ingredients like aloe begin to be heavily marketed in the USA
* 2000s: toilet paper is commonly available in hundreds of different designs, colors, and prints.
Today in some Muslim countries, toilet paper with added "wet strength" (chemicals to keep it from dissolving in water too quickly) is beginning to be accepted for drying (rather than cleaning, as is common in Western countries).
* 2006: For the first time: 13 shades of colored toilet paper are sold on the web at frenchtoiletpaper.
* April 2007 Sheryl Crow successfully bans toilet paper sales to the bourgeois. Wearing an olive-colored Che Guevara T-shirt and Prada pumps she proudly proclaims from the steps of Laurie David's Gulfstream, "Let them eat cake."
* September 2007 The shit hits the fan. Jeffrey Skilling and Albert Gore, former "the next President of the World," indicted on toilet paper futures fraud, escapes to Switzerland, now living in Marc Rich's pool house. Paper offsets found out to be worthless. Billions of dollars of ill-gotten gains thought to be flushed down the drain.
Was the toilet really invented by some dude named Crapper?
It only gets crazier. Here is Sheryl's blog:
No I can't spare a square, I don't have a square to spare!
In the Middle Ages, they used moss for tp. Perhaps Ms. Crow is thinking one sheet per man and unlimited moss.
I wouldn't want to know exactly what's crawling around in there.
Mtn Dew wrote:
Has this woman never had a BM?
Women don't poop.
Make it a Man Law wrote:
She wants it to be the law.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm
All jokes aside, this mentality scares the hell out of me. The fact that there are people who believe that the government should be so involved with my life as to be making laws about how many squares of toilet paper I can use makes me worry. In my opinion, the government has already overstepped what it needs to/should be doing for/to me in every way. How can people still be calling for more regulation, government action, and general intrusion into the lives of citizens? I really hope that if the trend of rapid and uncontrolled growth of our government continues that it will face strong opposition from it's people, but it seems that many would prefer to be completely controlled.
Instead of toilet paper, we should just chain a cat to every toilet in the nation. A good size cat has plenty of surface area for a good wipe, and then they clean themselves. Renewable resource. Public/Park restrooms can just keep squirrel cages in the stall. That's kind of the disposable version because I've never seen a squirrel bathe itself.
Good thinking, but even knowing that the cat has cleaned itself I don't know if I want to use a cat that's been used in this way for a few weeks. Also, in a restroom that gets a fair amount of traffic, the cat might not have time to get completely clean between customers.
c'mon, we should just ban toilet paper all together.
just use cotton kitchen towels and stick them in the washer afterwards.
maybe each bathroom should be equipped with it own little washing machine.
I would still f*** her. Just wouldn't want to hang around for too much coffee after.
* April 2007 Sheryl Crow successfully bans toilet paper sales to the bourgeois. Wearing an olive-colored Che Guevara T-shirt and Prada pumps she proudly proclaims from the steps of Laurie David's Gulfstream, "Let them eat cake."
* September 2007 The shit hits the fan. Jeffrey Skilling and Albert Gore, former "the next President of the World," indicted on toilet paper futures fraud, escapes to Switzerland, now living in Marc Rich's pool house. Paper offsets found out to be worthless. Billions of dollars of ill-gotten gains thought to be flushed down the drain.
how the hell would they ever control how much toilet paper you use in one sitting?
1. they could never control it
2. in the men's restroom, retards piss on the seats. Therefore, I would never sit on the toilet without trying to at least clean it off a little bit and then putting a nest of toilet paper over the seat so no part of my ass touches the disease covered toilet seat
3. public restrooms toilet paper is too thin to use just one square. Actually, any toilet paper is too thin to use just one.
the hair down there wrote:
Instead of toilet paper, we should just chain a cat to every toilet in the nation. A good size cat has plenty of surface area for a good wipe, and then they clean themselves. Renewable resource. Public/Park restrooms can just keep squirrel cages in the stall. That's kind of the disposable version because I've never seen a squirrel bathe itself.
This is the first thing I ever heard that makes a cat useful.
Britons lead the way in toilet paper use
Bruno Waterfield in Brussels
Last Updated: 1:08am GMT 05/02/2007
Every Briton flushes 17.6 kilos (39lb) of toilet paper down the lavatory every year, almost two and half times the European average, according to tissue industry figures.
British toilet paper consumption of 110 rolls per capita is 25 times that of Ukraine's, Europe's lowest.
Americans pull 15.7 kilos off the roll, ahead of Western Europe's average flush of 12.4, but still well behind the British.
Out of the EU states, new Europe's Baltic countries trail with 3.9 kilos annual consumption, three times less than the Germans.
New research published by the European Tissue Symposium sees Europe's toilet paper consumption soaring by 40 per cent over the next decade. Key to the runaway success of the toilet roll has been "creative and daring concepts" such as black loo paper.
Renova Black, a Portuguese brand sold in France, Spain and taking the US by storm, is cited as a successful "defiance of conventional thinking" in the world of toilet tissue.