That sucks. Can't choose your parents but you can your girlfriend/wife. The 19-21 min 5k girls are the best. They get it, but aren't obsessive and they usually look better than the really fast ladies.
Well, you goofed up and probably deserve the resentment. There isn’t much money in running and it’s a hardscrabble life even for the few for whom there is. You better have good grades and a degree with job prospects, otherwise you are just wasting your time chasing sub-elite PRs that no one cares about, not even your loved ones.
This is the dumbest post I have seen in a while. You think hobbies that are not profitable are a waste of time? What about every other hobby in the world? Or do you just hate running?
The OP never said he was giving up on a career and education to attempt a life as a pro runner. That is not the issue here...
Learn to read before jumping up and down. Can’t really care any way about you poor hurt feelings.
The thought that my parents would have gone to see a race is laughable. I had my whole childhood in which they never went to anything - band concerts, graduations, nothing. I got used to it and didn't expect any better.
But a funny thing happened recently. I was thinking back on the band and orchestra concerts I was in and how I always had this weird depression afterwards. I couldn't explain it, and it took years of it to even sink in, but recently I got the revelation that I was bummed because in these moments when I wanted to share with someone, I was very much alone.
I like to think that things like this made me stronger. But I also feel like I missed out on something I can never get back.
Hearing your story makes me think, what could you or I have done.
Can you ask them in a nice way why they have no interest? Could you point out that these moments mean something to you and there is no one who you would rather share them with than with them - your family? Maybe, in so doing, this could be a good experience in speaking up and shaping your environment so that it is fulfilling and a chance to grow tighter with them.
If that doesn't work, just remember that you do this for yourself, and though their presence at some level would enhance it, it is not ultimately why you do it.
Son, I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't more supportive. I admire what you've achieved so far, and what you're doing. As far as your parents are concerned, it's not likely to change. It's just an unfortunate family dynamic. You seem to understand that there are odd, deep-seated, underlying resentments (the hockey thing). Maybe a little jealousy insofar as your father is concerned, especially if you have achieved more as a runner than he did in his athletic interests.
My sister and I were not athletes, but we had our accomplishments-- personally, professionally. We finally got to a point (much later in life) where we could laugh together at how our mother minimized what we had managed to do. We realized that she was just a pathologically competitive person, and she felt threatened/resentful that we had managed to experienced a little more in life than she did.
Your girlfriend's lack of interest/support is a disappointment as well. If you find that you greatly value and need support from those close to you, you may need to find it with other running acquaintances. If your girlfriend is indifferent to something that is such an important part of your life, it may be for the best that you realize this before your lives get more intertwined.
Good luck with your 1st marathon. Feel free to report back here. Hope you have a great time and a satisfying result.
This is the best post / answer I have ever read on LetsRun -thank you!
My own experience is pretty much the same as OP’s: I was a successful runner in my teens, but my parents never attended any of my races… Well, there was one exception: When I ran our senior Nationals and I went in front with a hundred meters to go I suddenly heard and saw my father cheering. I won the race, but he was nowhere to be seen afterwards. -He came by car; if he had waited on me we could have driven home together (15 min by car). Instead I had to walk a km to the (local) train stop, wait there for quite a time (this was in the 1970s with bad infrastructure), standing in a overfilled wagon for more than 30 minutes. -Then changing to a bus I had to wait over an hour for. Then walking 2 km from the bus stop to my parents home, where I still lived as a 20 year old. (And probably getting some condescending comments from my mother on my “greedy” drinking of xl-1 / water in the kitchen…).
I have now been long time married to a supportive woman who cherishes all of my running…There are always supportive people to be found -to find those is just as important as your most important race..!
Well, you goofed up and probably deserve the resentment. There isn’t much money in running and it’s a hardscrabble life even for the few for whom there is. You better have good grades and a degree with job prospects, otherwise you are just wasting your time chasing sub-elite PRs that no one cares about, not even your loved ones.
This is the dumbest post I have seen in a while. You think hobbies that are not profitable are a waste of time? What about every other hobby in the world? Or do you just hate running?
The OP never said he was giving up on a career and education to attempt a life as a pro runner. That is not the issue here...
This guy was a troll
Its far from it, I'm not blindly chasing after an OTQ or something along those lines.
But, would it have been cool if my parents saw my win a conference title in XC ?
Yeah definitely, that was probably one of my greatest life moments.
This is the dumbest post I have seen in a while. You think hobbies that are not profitable are a waste of time? What about every other hobby in the world? Or do you just hate running?
The OP never said he was giving up on a career and education to attempt a life as a pro runner. That is not the issue here...
This guy was a troll
Its far from it, I'm not blindly chasing after an OTQ or something along those lines.
But, would it have been cool if my parents saw my win a conference title in XC ?
Yeah definitely, that was probably one of my greatest life moments.
Meant every word of what I said. You sound even more reading challenged. No wonder no one, not even your family, cares. Wallow in stupidity and self pity I suppose. Many do it all their lives.
Its far from it, I'm not blindly chasing after an OTQ or something along those lines.
But, would it have been cool if my parents saw my win a conference title in XC ?
Yeah definitely, that was probably one of my greatest life moments.
Meant every word of what I said. You sound even more reading challenged. No wonder no one, not even your family, cares. Wallow in stupidity and self pity I suppose. Many do it all their lives.
wow thanks for the reality check, but hey if I ever need a crash course on negativity, ill be sure to reach back out.
I’ve run 100,000 miles since 1977. Raced all over the world. Was on a military team for 8 years running at the Army 10-mile run, was a race director, high school cross country coach, club president and wrote a weekly running column in a pretty big newspaper for 10 years. Every penny I ever made or saved was indirectly made because of my running.
My dad was a high school football and golf coach. He played college football and raised me to be a football and baseball player. 24/7 sports. I never knew sports was supposed to be fun until I left home. He was highly disappointed when I lost interest in the major sports.
After I found my running life he never asked me one thing , ever about my sport…ever. Not one question. Not how I did…. Nothing.
He passed away in 2017 at 96 years old.
I am sorry to hear that. It also sort of makes the OP point perfectly. It is just sad and it shouldn't be like that.
We should, if we love each other, also genuinely care about each other. The OP isn't asking his family to become runners, he just misses out on the normal support and enthusiasm that most of our wifes and GFs and families give us.
This is 100% it, If I played any other sport in college I feel like they would come watch.
Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you're still a small kid needing mommy and daddy's attention. As as far as you GF goes, you should be impressing her with some other attributes of yours. At 22 you should be well over that stage in life. They have their own lives and you should (by now) respect what they want to be interested in and not.
Your 'WHY' is in the wrong box. If you're running for 'you' - great. If you're running for someone's else's approval/acknowledgement - grow up.
I run marathons. My three (3) grown sons also run marathons. We're all on our own and sometimes run the same marathons and sometimes don't. Some times our wives show up to watch us and sometimes they don't. When me and the boys are together we do the 'running talk' thing - and we don't bore our wives when they're around us talking 'running BS'.
My middle son got into running first (all well past HS and college) and the rest of us just followed suit over a few year period.
My advice to you is to, 1. Grow Up and 2. Work on your 'WHY'.
Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you're still a small kid needing mommy and daddy's attention. As as far as you GF goes, you should be impressing her with some other attributes of yours. At 22 you should be well over that stage in life. They have their own lives and you should (by now) respect what they want to be interested in and not.
Your 'WHY' is in the wrong box. If you're running for 'you' - great. If you're running for someone's else's approval/acknowledgement - grow up.
I run marathons. My three (3) grown sons also run marathons. We're all on our own and sometimes run the same marathons and sometimes don't. Some times our wives show up to watch us and sometimes they don't. When me and the boys are together we do the 'running talk' thing - and we don't bore our wives when they're around us talking 'running BS'.
My middle son got into running first (all well past HS and college) and the rest of us just followed suit over a few year period.
My advice to you is to, 1. Grow Up and 2. Work on your 'WHY'.
Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you're still a small kid needing mommy and daddy's attention. As as far as you GF goes, you should be impressing her with some other attributes of yours. At 22 you should be well over that stage in life. They have their own lives and you should (by now) respect what they want to be interested in and not.
I completely disagree with this line of thinking. If you are in a family or in a relationship, it isn't a sign of "neediness" or immaturity to expect that people in that family will take an interest in the things that make you you.
It is weird that they don't show any interest. My kids are busy with fun, interesting, challenging activities. It doesn't really matter what the activity is, I am curious to see how they face those challenges. That is why I care.
Gets me to thinking how things were different for me. My son got into running at the early age of about 5 with City League running. I don't like sitting around so I ran with him when I could and helped as a parent helper. He got me to run a few races with him.
Then he got into team sports, but when I brought him to practices, I would drop him and not wanting to just sit around., I'd go for a run in the neighborhood until it was time to drive him home. He totally lost interest in running and even told me it was "stupid", and that still cracks me up.
Well, he graduated college and his job in another city doesn't leave him much time for team sports, so he comes back to running regularly. I'm seeing him around Memorial Day, and he makes sure to tell me how we can go on a run together.
I've gotten so much slower with the passage of time, I can only wonder how this will go....
Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you're still a small kid needing mommy and daddy's attention. As as far as you GF goes, you should be impressing her with some other attributes of yours. At 22 you should be well over that stage in life. They have their own lives and you should (by now) respect what they want to be interested in and not.
I completely disagree with this line of thinking. If you are in a family or in a relationship, it isn't a sign of "neediness" or immaturity to expect that people in that family will take an interest in the things that make you you.
It is weird that they don't show any interest. My kids are busy with fun, interesting, challenging activities. It doesn't really matter what the activity is, I am curious to see how they face those challenges. That is why I care.
My bad. You are correct. I forgot that we're in the 2020's, where kids are babied until they're in their 30's. For those of us over 60, we call it 'babies raising babies'.
A 22 year old still crying cuz mommy and daddy didn't see him get a trophy or medal is what is so sad. And now this poor fool is carrying it forward to his (potential) adulthood himself.
Don’t expect loved ones to care about running. They shouldn’t have to, but they should care about you and it should be clear to them how important running is to you and that makes it a real shame they don’t show interest or care about your running. Going to big races is the least they could do. They should be asking you about running stuff even if they don’t care about running. Even if you were not as good as you are this should be the case.
Gets me to thinking how things were different for me. My son got into running at the early age of about 5 with City League running. I don't like sitting around so I ran with him when I could and helped as a parent helper. He got me to run a few races with him.
Then he got into team sports, but when I brought him to practices, I would drop him and not wanting to just sit around., I'd go for a run in the neighborhood until it was time to drive him home. He totally lost interest in running and even told me it was "stupid", and that still cracks me up.
Well, he graduated college and his job in another city doesn't leave him much time for team sports, so he comes back to running regularly. I'm seeing him around Memorial Day, and he makes sure to tell me how we can go on a run together.
I've gotten so much slower with the passage of time, I can only wonder how this will go....
Funny how these things go.
A grown child. I'm stunned. From your posts I had you pegged as 28 year old dweeb simping for Teasle. I assumed you were single and a similar type of loser.
For me running is just trying to be the best version of myself I can be. I I'm still young (22), I am still competitive and trying to win races as well as chasing personal bests. I still put up 100+ mile weeks and chase fast times on the track. I work hard and its paid off, I ran a massive 10k PR less than a month ago. It means a lot to me.
The reason I am posting this is because I am running my first marathon in the next few weeks and I don't understand why my family wont come out to support me. My dads response to the race was "Ill probably stay home", My girlfriends was "Do I have to go, I was making plans".
I ran in college, not once did my parents go to see me run, I set school records and won conference titles but there was little to no support.
In high school there was the occasional pop by the high school to pick me up and they might catch me finishing a cross country race or something along those lines.
Its painful because I grind constantly, and I am a very solid runner by all standards. You would think they might want to support me.
I want to share my running with them but they really just do not care. I think they are just being polite when they ask me how things went. If another member of my family was out there doing something like this I would be there for them.
Nope. In fact, the "running" joke is that the hundreds of medals will just be coffin ornaments and the ribbons will be coffin liners.
For me running is just trying to be the best version of myself I can be. I I'm still young (22), I am still competitive and trying to win races as well as chasing personal bests. I still put up 100+ mile weeks and chase fast times on the track. I work hard and its paid off, I ran a massive 10k PR less than a month ago. It means a lot to me.
The reason I am posting this is because I am running my first marathon in the next few weeks and I don't understand why my family wont come out to support me. My dads response to the race was "Ill probably stay home", My girlfriends was "Do I have to go, I was making plans".
I ran in college, not once did my parents go to see me run, I set school records and won conference titles but there was little to no support.
In high school there was the occasional pop by the high school to pick me up and they might catch me finishing a cross country race or something along those lines.
Its painful because I grind constantly, and I am a very solid runner by all standards. You would think they might want to support me.
I want to share my running with them but they really just do not care. I think they are just being polite when they ask me how things went. If another member of my family was out there doing something like this I would be there for them.
IMO, find a better girlfriend. I'm sorry your parents don't care. But your significant other should. It will get better:)
This. My parents never cared (although my mom asks now bc she admires that I still compete in old age), but your boyfriend or gf should.