Accusations of "tone-policing" are a weak thinker's way of weaseling out of a losing position. I have no idea what "tone-policing" is, and, truly, neither do you. The words you wrote, however--not your "tone," whatever that is--imputed a position to Innes FitzGerald that she never asserted in her comments, and, in doing so, helped to diminish what might have been a (still gratuitous) vigorous debate into, as you so aptly said, a merely vociferous one. For example, you have no idea how it makes Innes FitzGerald (or others in her same position) feel to turn down opportunities for travel; you suggest that she does it to "feel good," but you don't know how much grief she may be in to think that being true to her beliefs will foreclose these kinds of activities in her life. Your editorializing is not a meaningful contribution to this debate.
Also, speaking of hiding, please don't hide your sneering contempt for a young woman acting on her principles behind claims of doing the public some heroic service, like "[preventing] these kinds of non-productive ideas from taking root in the world." Jesus. I've never heard such a fatuous, self-aggrandizing euphemism for "criticizing a stranger for a decision that has no impact on anyone else but that made me feel bad." It's not a good look, H.