Best way to coach women

Typical LetsRun solution: threaten to post their pictures on the internet.

You must coach high school, but I know how hard it can be to motivate the 21-25 minute runners who do not care about improving.

Extrinsic rewards for meeting goals, both short-term and long-term? Pins for letter jackets, ribbons to wear on singlets, new racing shoes, special recognition, etc.

One thing to remember when coaching women and men.

For the most part...

You PUSH men and you GUIDE women to be good. You can say things to men that will motivate them and those same things will make a women hold a grudge against you forever. It's just something they take personal and never let go of.

I know it hurt my last relationship, being tough on my ex at times and trying to make her be a more competitive person than she wanted.

As a female athlete,and former Coach,at the HS level, I would say your number one tool would be to listen to your female runners, give them the respect they deserve,and don't make them feel like they are secondary to the male members of the team.Just appreciate that their needs are different. Once you give them a true sounding board, you earn their trust, and then they are willing to go the extra mile, ( no pun intended). Set a good example for them, and be respectful, and it will go a long way. Women are responders for the most part, and therefore more likely to respond more to positive affirmation, so find the good points about your female athletes and build their confidence in the areas they are proficient in, while letting them know you understand their weaknesses ,( even if you don't, atleast try)..... I always got the best out of my female athletes, by finding their assets ,ie good running form, or even positive attitude, and then working on that, causing them to have the faith in themselves to launch forward, perhaps this is too simplistic but it has worked for me :O) Hope this helps!

I hear all of that. I'm an assistant at a DI school and our women are satisfied as long as they get a t-shirt at the stand before the race. The cut the workout short all the time every chance they get, complain about everything possible, like how the men "take too long to stretch" and slow down before the finish line with hands on the hips just casually strolling along as soon as they hit the finish line. Some even study at team camp during meets right up until we make them go to the starting line for pre-race strides, like 10 min. before the damn race starts! I wish I could offer you a solution, I'll agree with the last poster, any way we try to motivate them more just pushes them farther away. Glad to hear this is not a unique problem, but my high school women's team was the exact opposite, it's very frustrating.

That was my high school boys' team four years ago, when I started running as a sophomore. People on the team took pride in sucking. And that was the (somewhat) fast ones. Then I decided I wanted to be good...

Three years ago, some of the same guys were captains. They took pride in cutting corners, and blocked me if I tried to pick up the pace at all. But younger members of the team had started to listen to my insistence that if we worked hard, we could be so much better than this...That year, things didn't change. We were 7th and last in our conference, near last in our county, second to last in our section. But things take time...

Two years ago, I ran 50 miles a week in the summer. The new captain shared my goals, and we did most of our runs together. At our first dual meet, a team laughed at us on our warmup, remembering how bad we had been a year ago. We beat them decisively. We went on to finish 4th in our conference, 9th in our county, and 10th in our section. In every case, these finishes were around the middle of the field. But I had changed things. The very talented freshman and sophomore classes believed in themselves, and were determined to excel. I graduated full of hope for the team's future...

Last year, despite losing their top three to graduation, the team finished 2nd in their conference, 4th in their county, and 6th in their section -- a painful disappointment, as the top 5 qualify for the state meet. But not a single member of the team graduated that year. The coach promised, "Next year, we qualify..."

This year, the team was better than ever. They won their conference over a private school that was dominant three years ago. People swore up and down then that my high school's team would never beat them because "they recruit." Oops. They won their county meet over a team from a school that really does recruit and do other things (like have 5th year seniors) that keep them out of the state association. Despite injuries to two of their top seven, they finished a close second in their section, qualifying for the state meet for the first time since 1991.

What's the point of this long rambling story? Other than that I feel like posting it to praise the members of this team (they will know who they are)? Herein lies the solution to your problem, if you can do it. Inspire a couple of girls to want to excel. Surely you can find one or two who do care about racing fast, about being better at this sport than they are. They will do the rest, including making the rest of the team care, themselves.

Is there a female alumnus in your area that is loyal to your program? If so, call her up and tell her about your situation--have her do a few runs with your women's team so that they can engage in "girl-talk". Plus, the former runner for your program could serve as a role model for the girls. Sometimes, it takes a motivated female to get the fire ignited. Just my 2 cents.

Women ain't sh*t. They don't do deserve training, they should go back to the kitchen where they belong.

D3 guy and Sarah give great advice based on personal experience. I have coached boys and girls and men and women for a longggg time and I assure you that girls and women train and race and try every bit as hard as will boys and men.

But there are some kids - whether boys or girls - who really aren't runners although they are out for the team. It sounds like your girls team is loaded or at least led by a group of them.

Your problem now is trying to turn around an entrenched attitude - much harder than starting from scratch. Sarah's advice is excellent. My two cents would be to really focus on the most positive athletes on your squad and reinforce their good traits and attitudes. In no way neglect or reject or cold shoulder those with bad habits. You have to be nearly saintlike. But show some positive emotion to those with whom you are happy. Let them know that you see and value their investment - like an acorn, it will grow.

As a volunteer club coach for college and post-grad age men and women, I had an interesting contrast. The men didn't want to show up and train together, but wanted to race. The women showed up regularly, trained their hearts out, but didn't want to race. Or not much.

For the most part, I just had to roll with their decisions. But I would, on occasion, try the guilt trip option: I'd point out all the work that not just they, but *I* had put into the season, and how bummed I'd be if we never got to see the results. I'm not really sure if it was the guilt part, or merely the fact that once I reminded them of how fit they were, they were more into competing.

Or, to put it another way, I found that with women, I had to talk about kicking ass for a week or two before they would start thinking that way. But like I said, I NEVER had a problem trying to get them to practice.

I coached both boys and girls in HS for 3 yrs. It is certainly frustrating. Like others have said, you can call out the boys. You can challenge them, tell them they really sucked in the last meet or practice and they need to buckle down etc.. Not women, everything has to be positive or they will quit on you in a minute (or tune you out.)

I don't have any real great advice other than always keep your message positive. Put a spin on what you want them to do by telling them how awesome they did on this or that workout, and that you want them to do that again, etc..

A lot of the motivated girls will get mad at themselves (sometimes breaking down and crying) if they have a bad workout or race. Thats almost as bad as the ones who don't seem to give a damn. I have a tough time being patient enough with my girls and I am female, but I guess thats because when I was in HS, I had no option but to compete on the boys team and learned early that there is no crying in cross country. Just keep accentuating the positive, even if you really have to get creative to find it.

It is true that coaching women is a bit different than men, but I disagree with most of what I am reading. The problem is that if kids don't want to race, they don't want to race. Men and women aren't that much different in running terms, and if it takes getting in somenone's face to get results, you do it, men or women. If the person quits, they didn't want to be there for the right reasons in the first place. Human beings respond to leadership and honesty, and sometimes honesty is negative. Calling people out (in private) is more effective than sugary positive all the time.

Not to argue too much, but on the HS level I didn't want to be such a hard a$$ that I couldn't field a team (girls team). Second, I don't want to make something that should be a fun experience become some horrid nightmare for a 14 year old girl. Most of those kids will never have anything to do with running once they are done with HS. I don't want them to remember cc as a negative experience.

If this were college and she were getting $$ to run, by all means let the chips fall. Totally bust on them at that point.

I've learned guys can take a fair amount of negativity if they get something close to equal amounts of praise.

For the women, it has to be something like 80/20 or even 90/10, really heavy on the praise so that you can once in a while sneak in some slight critiques. Otherwise, they shut the door.

The worst part for me is the women being so mean to each other. I hate that and it really damages the team. Don't know how to deal with that.

The guys fight and swear at each other, but 5 minutes later they're buds again. Girls hold grudges, real or perceived, forever.

OMG that crap is so horrible. The general bitchyness- the jealously, the in-fighting, oh man I do NOT miss that drama. You are exactly right, the guys would have differences blow up at each other, then either avoid each other or move on.

I hate to say it, but for many of the reasons people have mentioned in this thread, I really didn't care how the girls team performed. I did have individual girls that bought into what we were doing, and yes, I truely wanted them to succeed, but other than those individuals the ladies reaped what they sowed.

The girls that approached the sport like a guy were great kids to have.

just remebered a teaching principal from my stint in the gymnastics world: the compliment sandwich.

Give a compliment, then constructive criticism , then motivating praise. like, "you looked relaxed and smooth on that 800. I think if your push yourself a little more on the next one we will see you get a faster time. I think you have the potential to try to qualify for that big invitational."

I would tell my guys something differnt like,

"You were a little too relaxed on that 800. Try to give a bit more intensity on the next one. We know you can do this and we need you at that meet." (guys like to feel needed)

The original poster was referring to women at the Division I level, hence my DI response.

High school athletes in general are frustrating to coach, men or women.

A compliment sandwich? Are you kidding me. Do you think school teachers survive giving compliment sandwiches? Again, kids respect discipline. Too many coaches try to be friends with the kids. Being a hard ass may hurt for a short while, but it is effective. If you are laid back all the time, kids will eventually take advantage of you, even the good ones.