This is a good take. I train about 10 hours/week, officially as a nordic skier these days so there's running and hillbounding and rollerskiing and of course skiing all winter long, but bottom line it's around 10 hours of aerobic stimulus a week. I have two kids, and I work roughly half-time, maybe less (spouse is the main wage-earner, I'm the main caretaker), which is what allows me to get the training in and still be available to my family.
And endurance sport is, by a huge margin, the dominant factor in my life/social life. Like you, I'm pleased with the choices that I've made, for the time being, and with the fitness and the race performances that I have, for the time being. But it is pure sophistry to pretend that 10 hours/week of training - which is realistically closer to 20 hours/week once you count showering, extra eating, getting back to real life, and even minimal driving to trailheads - is not going to massively affect your life.
Not saying what the "right" answer here is, for anyone, and clearly I can't say what the right answer is in terms of sheer numbers. But I think that that self-awareness is key, and I applaud you for getting at that so well.