Falling for a single mom! My family is not having it.

Well your dad and mom aren't marrying her so who cares what they think.

Make her a single mom of 3 and then look for a partner who doesnt have another man's children.

In financial disclosures they always tell you that past performance is not an indication of future results, but they can be a good indicator of companies that are managed and run well. My wife's cousin married a man from the Caribbean who had two kids from two different women. Her parents tried to dissuade her from marrying the man, but she went ahead with the marriage anyhow. They had two kids together and after about six years he had an affair with another woman and they got divorced. He rarely makes child support payments and has little involvement in his kids lives. Before you get into a binding relationship with this woman, make sure you understand why and how her previous relationship broke down and that she is as committed to building a long term relationship as you are. Don't make a long term financial decision based entirely on emotion. Your parents are simply looking out for your best interest. Take their opinion to heart when making your decision.

bruhhhhhhh wrote:

I have a great connection w/ a gal I’ve been seeing for a few months(7). We’re both 25. She’s a single mom of 2, independent, and co-parents happily w/ her ex.

I wasn’t bothered by the single mom status but my family is giving me a big pushback & has not talked to me since I told them about her. They’re extremely conservative & basically gave me an ultimatum. Dads big speech went along the lines of “you’re dishonoring the family, there are many women w/ no kids, keep search, etc.”

I love my family but I also really like this girl. I think they’d really like her if they gave her a chance. What would you do if you’re in my shoes?

Brother-in-law married a single mom of two (OG dad in jail). He added two more kids, one turned out not to be his. Now she is a single mom of 4 and he's paying child support for 4 kids that aren't his. This is California.

There must be a typo. You mention you’re 25, but you’re acting like a b!t<h ass baby.

DAMN!!!! That is a hard pill to swallow.

You're 25, no way in hell should you even consider a single mom. She picked Chad the first time now she wants a stable dude to clean up the mess. DON'T DO IT!!! You will be sinking all of your resources into two kids that are not yours. Let me ask you this, does she want more kids? If she is not willing to have a child with you but wants you to fund her two kids from another man KEEP IT MOVING

Just get a nice hooker. Will be much cheaper

bruhhhhhhh wrote:

I love my family but I also really like this girl.

This person stopped being a girl when she had her first child, by the second, you should REALLY understand that this is a WOMAN you are dealing with. You need to understand the distinction and not see her as a girl, she isn't. This person, is WAAYYY past you in her life experience, no matter your age. Are you prepared for that?

What your parents are doing a bad job of conveying to you is that when you are with a person who would experience all these new adventures in life(childbirth, parenting, maturing) equally with you, your path will be a lot easier, equal, and just plain joyful. It's your choice, but just consider what happens down the line.

Tell your parents, and especially your Dad to f*ck off.

Dude, lemme tell you. Unless you have an equal number of kids as she does, and you two are gonna brady-bunch it up plus possibly have your own ... well, this is gonna cost you in ways that you oughta consider... at least know what you are getting into if you decide to keep this lady.

Do you want to, and/or do you have the resources to, financially provide for this lady's two kids? Let's think, man. Sure, her ole man pays child support, but is that gonna fully cover the big SUV or minivan you'll need to cart around you, her, her kiddos, and the future babies of you and her? How about the extra-big-size house you'll need? That's a whole lotta extra rent or mortgage. Is her child support covering that? Is she covering 100% of that? No? So you are helping pay for her kids, from another dude.

How about family vacations? More costly with her kids. Who's paying for that extra cost? How about road trips or meals out? Who is covering this and all of the extra daily, weekly, monthly, yearly additional costs that are associated with having two additional small humans in the family? Are you contributing ZERO to it? Or are you contributing $$$?

If you are contributing, how much does it add up to, by the time her kids are grown? And how much does that affect your savings? The vacations you can have? Your financial stability? Retirement age? How quickly or slowly are you paying off your car, house, etc?

The thing is, like it or not, marriage is a FINANCIAL CONTRACT between two parties, enforced by a third party - the government.

It's a long life. Ultimately, this decision will only be a little bit about your heart and your weiner. It's mostly about your wallet and the resulting wallet-driven impact on your long, long life as you live with your decision.

But yeah, enjoy hitting that, young man. Sure.

Your dad is out of line, but it's not just a matter of whether you like this girl. You have to think about your relationship with her kids also.

The kids are presumably very young. If you intend to get serious, you're not just dating a grown-up. You're potentially becoming a stepfather or father figure to young children. Think through whether you're willing to do this and be responsible to some degree for young children and not screwing around with their emotions and expectations.

This has nothing to do with your parents, except for the fact they are bringing wisdom (albeit in a poor manner of delivery) that you should deeply consider. You may like this woman. She may be ever so sweet, but don't let the fact that she enjoys playing with your peepee drive your decision process. There are many women out there that you can get along with. There isn't just one. A few things for you to consider:

1) Are you prepared to dedicate yourself to these children and love them as if they are your own? They deserve that; 2)are you prepared to have the EX be a part of your life for the next 20 years or more? Can you get along with this person?;

3) Is there any desire from this woman to get back together with her EX so as to have a complete family?;

4) are you sure this is the woman for you, or are you just enjoying your time with her now?

My daughter did this. She had a baby with another guy and then married a different man. He has been terrific!! he has embraced his role as "dad" and loves the kid that isn't his as though she is. So, my daughter got lucky and chose well. But this is rare. The questions is... are you a rare breed of man that is willing to do this right?

If so, then eventually you tell your parents that your are doing this and expect them to adjust their behavior accordingly or you will just not be very accessible to them because of their bad behavior. Hope this helps.

Your parents reasons are really stupid, and as an adult you make your own decisions. Sounds like they have some weird God related hangups and think this woman is dirty or whatever. Put all that aside.

But, you need to think long and hard (with your brain not your wang) about what you're up to here. Don't be shoplifting the pootie, and recognize that she may be in a different place in life at 25 with the kids.

Progressive all you like.

Children from broken families are handicapped like 80%.

4/10

Flagpole wrote:

Tell your parents, and especially your Dad to f*ck off.

Why is Flagpole so consistently on the wrong side of things?

F#ck your judgmental, conditionally loving family. You're 25, do what makes the most sense to you.

Flagpole wrote:

Tell your parents, and especially your Dad to f*ck off.

That is some terrible advice from someone who is supposed to be a financial guru.