Running etiquette: When should you say 'Hi" to another runner?

And this is coming from someone who does say hi to men, women, dogs, cats, whatever. But I do understand why someone might not.

Yikes! wrote:

Thank you for actually understanding why some people might want to minimise the possibility or whatever.

I have a little experiment for the other person:

Go into a gay bar on your own for IDK, like four hours or something. Maybe one with bears for a fuller immersive experience.

Deal with all of the comments (assuming you are moderately hott or not completely gross looking)

Then tell me if you make conversation or say hi back to people. Maybe you could do this for a few years and then get back to us. You shouldn't judge them!!! Some of them are nice! I can't understaaaand why you wouldn't want to have a conversation? Wow you are so unfriendly.

I think the hard part for us to understand as guys is that when a person of the opposite sex is not outgoing, or is not responsive to our advances (even if it is as benign as a 'hi'), it is not that they are being cold or unfriendly or "aloof".

On the contrary - they are probably just trying to not send the wrong message. And in that sense, they feel that they are actually doing us a favor in so doing.

It's a bit awkward, granted, but that's the way it is.

And it's a loaded territory, even one might say, a veritable minefield of misconceptions and misconstrued intentions. So as a result, the de-facto fail-safe strategy has been what amounts to 'keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel.'

My experience for when we are approaching each other rather than coming up from behind:

- Guys mostly nod, occasionally actually say hey/hi. I guess it's some sort of guy code.

- Women are more likely to say hey/hi than nod but some women won't even make eye

contact or say hi or nod. The latter always makes me think if my RBF is too strong?

- Walkers are more likely to say hi than runners. I think because they are maintaining that eye contact for a long time before you run by them and they can assess if you are a threat.

- If it's a serious runner who is male, we almost always say hi each other. It's like we have this unspoken bond even though we don't know each other.

- If it's a serious runner who is female, I actually get the lowest % of hi/nods. I haven't figured this one out.

DOGS. 100% there is some interaction if there are dogs and on a few occasions it leads to actual brief conversations. Dogs continue to be an awesome to way to be an ice breaker.

What I do:

- At the very least I nod at everyone even if they don't reciprocate. I'll say hi if they hold eye contact more than a second. When I was younger I would just try to avoid eye contact because I didn't feel like interacting since all I cared about was my pace and performance. Don't come in my way.

- I do have a 'resting b*tch face' when I run so I've been working on putting on a slight smile when I run by people even when I am doing a hard workout. This makes a huge difference in hi-rates I get....especially those women that think I am some serial killer.

I'll usually acknowledge the other person with a wave, "hi", or "good morning"*. Less so on more crowded road runs. More so on trail runs. If the person is a woman alone on a remote trail I'll acknowledge her but keep it pretty low key (probably a small wave).

I don't care how the other person responds. If he or she initiates, I'll respond in kind (wave gets a wave, hi gets a hi)

*I find my self saying "good morning" well past morning sometimes.

Right, because the onus should be placed on a 16-year-old girl and not the 50+ year-old man. Also, ironically enough, girls are trained to be "polite" and I hadn't developed have the social savvy to know how to tell him to leave me alone without fear of repercussion.

When I was young and could turn over a 5 minute mile whenever i wanted I felt invincible and would give the what up nod without expecting anything back. Now that I am afraid to time my workouts I still give the nod and hope I get a return. Most of the time I get something back but.... It was different back in the 70's and 80's. The masses have overrun the parks.

I used to run in Prospect Park in Brooklyn or ride along on a bike with my wife as she trained for Oly Trials qualifier. Back then the number of runners was so small that literally everyone would welcome a comrade. Nowadays there are too many runners to think about saluting. Sometimes I wonder if there are too many runners?

Oh shut up it's nothing to do with wanted to be acknowledge I do it because I like runners and I like saying good morning and it's basic manners to reply, if somebody says hello to me I say hello back it's called not being ignorant.

lwood wrote:

BOHICA wrote:

Your general demeanor is that of a sex offender, that's what's behind it.

You work for Runners World don't you?

No, why did they run a background check on you?

Ignorance has nothing to do with this situation, you're misusing the term. Anyway, I don't really believe that's not the intent. Mostly because I can read:

lwood wrote:

txRUNNERgirl wrote:

Thank you. It's not that women are "offended" by men saying hi to them. It's that our natural reaction is to be guarded, so when you only have a couple of seconds to interact and get a feel for that person, it usually results in ignoring them.

So a girls assumption is that most guys are out running to find girls to run after?

It's no secret that ENOUGH guys are horn dogs on the prowl to suspect any random encounter to be of that nature. Just read this forum for more than a few minutes and it becomes pretty obvious that there are plenty of sad incels among the male running population. Chances are, the guy saying "what up" or "nice stride" while running by is Jamin or Greg, and not Nick Symmonds.

OldManRunners wrote:

- If it's a serious runner who is female, I actually get the lowest % of hi/nods. I haven't figured this one out.

I explained it. Run many miles over many years as a female and get back to me about how often you are harassed.

BOHICA wrote:

lwood wrote:

So a girls assumption is that most guys are out running to find girls to run after?

It's no secret that ENOUGH guys are horn dogs on the prowl to suspect any random encounter to be of that nature. Just read this forum for more than a few minutes and it becomes pretty obvious that there are plenty of sad incels among the male running population. Chances are, the guy saying "what up" or "nice stride" while running by is Jamin or Greg, and not Nick Symmonds.

Not just guys out running. Females grow up being preyed upon on a daily basis. I literally remember creepy men saying things, slapping my butt, etc. when I was 4 years old. I'm guessing you don't have sisters or daughters. I mean, just look at how females are treated on LetsRun.

Whenever you see another.

America's fury wrote:

I only acknowledge women if they initiate it. Otherwise, i either ignore everyone or give them dirty looks. That's how we do in the blue.

Same here. About half the women I see on runs will initiate a wave. Most that don't are heavy set or stout women that look like they're struggling to just jog. You can see the look on their face that they're not happy and appear aggravated - who would want to initiate a wave at them?

I also don't wave at guys unless I know the cat. Last time I waved at a cat, he turned around and caught up with me being all friendly wanting to chitchat. So...it can't be a nice looking chick to catch up and run with me - it has to be a dude! And there are just too many dudes in this day & age. ?

txRUNNERgirl wrote:

BOHICA wrote:

It's no secret that ENOUGH guys are horn dogs on the prowl to suspect any random encounter to be of that nature. Just read this forum for more than a few minutes and it becomes pretty obvious that there are plenty of sad incels among the male running population. Chances are, the guy saying "what up" or "nice stride" while running by is Jamin or Greg, and not Nick Symmonds.

Not just guys out running. Females grow up being preyed upon on a daily basis. I literally remember creepy men saying things, slapping my butt, etc. when I was 4 years old. I'm guessing you don't have sisters or daughters. I mean, just look at how females are treated on LetsRun.

txRUNNERgirl has explained very well the main reasons why I don't say "Hi" or give a "wave" to a female if I don't know them. It could very easily be interpreted in a negative way so I basically don't ever acknowledge a female runner/walker/cyclist at all when I'm out running or cycling.

Come to think of it, I don't really say much to males either.

lwood wrote:

Great topic. My experience has been that the guys always wave/nod and girls don't even make eye contact. Would love to know the psychology behind that ?

Many years ago, a study was done about the optimal size of tables for school libraries.

The answer was 4 seats, although there are many tables bigger.

The reason: turns out that if two students who know each other sit at a table (4-top), women sit side-by-side and men sit across. If they don't know each other, they sit diagonal.

txRUNNERgirl wrote:

Not just guys out running. Females grow up being preyed upon on a daily basis. I literally remember creepy men saying things, slapping my butt, etc. when I was 4 years old. I'm guessing you don't have sisters or daughters. I mean, just look at how females are treated on LetsRun.

This reminds me of our masters' swim coach, female, remarked that a 70 year old guy that I knew who had volunteered his time to teach kids in a water safety class was "disgusting".

txRUNNERgirl wrote:

BOHICA wrote:

It's no secret that ENOUGH guys are horn dogs on the prowl to suspect any random encounter to be of that nature. Just read this forum for more than a few minutes and it becomes pretty obvious that there are plenty of sad incels among the male running population. Chances are, the guy saying "what up" or "nice stride" while running by is Jamin or Greg, and not Nick Symmonds.

Not just guys out running. Females grow up being preyed upon on a daily basis. I literally remember creepy men saying things, slapping my butt, etc. when I was 4 years old. I'm guessing you don't have sisters or daughters. I mean, just look at how females are treated on LetsRun.

Understand women's perspective.

Was never a big deal when I was running seriously, because few women ran.

As for acknowledging another runner while on a run, I only did that if they were running fast and it was obvious they were really good, and even then only if it wasn't awkward.

Same was true in the gym. I was very good at squats, and the serious lifters would nod toward me and I back. As for the bench press--no, I would not get noticed.

Over the years I've found myself immured in an overly wavy environment; I live in a rural, unincorporated town, ride a motorcycle, and run. I'm either waving or head nodding over 50 times per day.

Even women will wave or say hi in these parts. Of course it all goes downhill pretty quickly when I respond, "My pace or yours" with a big shat eating grin.