Should I give up my 4th year of collegiate running to marry my gf?

Why does she want you to graduate early?

Is it to avoid another 10k in debt?

What are your job prospects?

What are her job prospects?

How good of a runner was she?

Are you any good as a runner?

What are your times (approximate)?

How much in debt is she?

How much in debt are you?

With the limited info provided, this sounds like a business marriage between two people who like having sex with each other.

At some point in time, OP will resent giving up one year of eligibility, but not as much as trying to live with part of the salary going to debt payments.

Op. Just to add some more perspective. In Europe is common for bachelor degree to be three years. Might help your decision

NO!!! Been there done that. If you think you need to do this for any reason, you're marrying the wrong girl. Trust me; I know. Why would you need to get married in such a time frame? What would having a piece of paper matter?

On the one hand I think it’s silly to keep running in college. I look back at my 5 years and, even though I was a 2x D1 NCAA Championships qualifier, it was a waste of time. I regret not spending more time doing something else, such as studying and internships, instead of running. So, yes get married and blow off the 4th year. You won’t regret it.

On the other hand, I’d say it’s a red flag if she wants you to graduate early and move on with life. She’s quite literally saying, “I don’t care about things that are important to you.” But I don’t know enough about the situation. If she’s not threatening to leave you then I suppose it’s no big deal. I would warn you that I think she wants to move on with life. She probably wants to leave poor college life and get jobs and make money and enjoy life. Meaning, if you decide to stay in college she might involuntarily find someone else who can take care of her financially.

Is there some reason why you couldn't marry her AND use your 4th year? If you can graduate early then take grad classes your 4th year.

As far a your scholarship, you need to have that conversation with your coach, but be sure to go prepared with why you deserve a scholarship increase. Just because you want/need more money to pay for school won't get it.

Says a non married person...

That being said, looks like it will be a huge regret. And i don't sense that she's pushing hard.

So as long as you don't get pregnant, I say run track senior year. Agree on a plan with her so everyone understands.

If there's travel, I'd suggest figuring out how to include her on a few of those, particularly the first time, but not all of them.

0/10

The only correct answer: Keep running and don't get married until you're at least 30.

Dumb your girl, redshirt a year and then make the oregon project team. You will meet hotter women there and very thin, obedient, and who will prioritize your baby over their own health.

I graduated in 3 and 1/2 years, got married after my 4th year, and then ran in college my 5th year while married and in graduate school. My wife (who also ran) is a year younger so got married after year 3. After her 4th year, she graduated, and I had finished graduated school, so she had to decide to stay for a 5th year of XC or not. Staying for a 5th season also meant delaying the start of her nursing school which she had been accepted too (and the possibility of her not getting accepted the next go-around). She ended up staying to run- and was able to get her scholarship bumped up that final season.

There’s no blanket correct answer. For some, marriage is the best choice possible- for others, it’s not the right choice at that specific time. I loved being married in college and love being married now. Some people divorce after a year-even when waiting to marry in their 30s. Same goes for running- sometimes continuing your running career is the best, other times you can end your college experience with no regrets. But as others mentioned, get married and continuing to run aren’t mutually exclusive. Instead, they are two separate decisions (but they do impact one another).

Disclaimer: I did NOT go to BYU.

You actually took my post and the OP's seriously :-)?

All kidding aside, the no go before 30 is a pretty good rule for most males, with exceptions of course. I can't imagine, by an wild stretch, being married in college. 100% chance of that having ended badly, for me at least. To each his own and if in fact the OP is serious, I stand by my life maxim for males.

If you are capable of graduating in three years, you likely have a soft major, so go to college for one more year and take some graduate level courses to help you get a meaningful career. There is nothing that says you can't be married and go to school.

Dur wrote:

holterskolter2 wrote:

Just get married and run as well?

This should be an option, right?

My head hurts, because I can’t understand what ops issue is.

These things aren’t contradictory. You made up this imaginary either or situation.

Do you want to run a fourth year? That is literally the only real question here.

Free_the_thigh wrote:

Dur wrote:

This should be an option, right?

My head hurts, because I can’t understand what ops issue is.

These things aren’t contradictory. You made up this imaginary either or situation.

Do you want to run a fourth year? That is literally the only real question here.

Aren't like 3/4th's of the BYU team members married?

I was you 20 years ago. D2 runner at a small Midwest college with a girlfriend that graduated a year and a half before me. I married her and gave up my last two seasons. I did not, and don't, regret it. Have a great wife and three kids.

Running is great--and you can still do it--but it is just one part of who you are (or should be). If it is your only identity (I get it) then a few more years of being single might be good for you to sort that out.

I think you know what you want more.

If you give up your 4th year of running, you'll regret it. You know this. That's why you asked.

Get out ASAP

Years from now it will look good that you went through college in 3 years. College is that speed bump in your progression. Put your big boy pants an and move on.

Get married when you both get settled.

Unless you are going to make the Olympic team.

Graduate. Marry the girl. Keep running together and go traveling around for races. Don't put off your life.

I was in a similar situation. I married my long time girlfriend the summer after she graduated. I stayed on for a fifth year with a partial scholarship. We lived in married housing, she worked at the front desk at a medical office. It was fun, we both were happy, no regrets. Definitely glad I ran my fifth year. Got to know some my younger teammates better. Delayed "real life" for another year.

So my advice is do both. Figure out how to make it work.