Dreadful ex-colleague needs a reference

Say this:

"The applicant worked here."

That's it.

Get out of town. Catch covid. Your mistake was saying you'd give him a reference.

You'll make a bigger one by endorsinghim. Clearly you don't rate him, and he's going against someone else who is likely a better worker and person.

Lose your phone.

First thing is to find out if your company allows you to give a reference. If not, then that's a fact, and it's not your fault if you bow out of giving a reference. If the ex-co-worker holds a grudge, so be it, and who effin' cares, anyway, as long as there are no threats against you (which, I'm guessing, there would not be).

But assuming that you are allowed by your employer to give a reference, I like the idea of being minimally positive, but not glowing. The lack of detailed praise should be interpreted by the hiring people as a red warning flag.

Certainly, unless the job is for a position where direct damage to individuals could result from poor performance (commercial pilot, MD), outright matter-of-fact honesty, which will be at least tinged with negativity, should be out of the question, even if you feel it's the only way you can maintain integrity.

You also have to think about liability, in this litigious society of ours. The dude seeking a new job, should he get his hands on your less-than-stellar recommendation, might go after you legally. Who knows? I don't even know if it's possible.

I also don't know how confidential your recommendation would be - that's something about which you should ask - and even if you are assured of confidentiality, I wouldn't trust what I was told.

Assume the worst - that it WILL leak out, which could mean it gets back to the potential employee. (The chief of campus police once assured me of complete confidentiality after convincing me to come forward as the only witness to a violent man-versus-woman university crime in broad daylight. Then the chief, with booze in him, blabbed my name at an end-of-school-year social function. Ultimately, I was the sworn witness in court, and I wasn't harmed, but the dude knew who I was before the court case, thanks to the way leaks play out. And he messed with me a bit but was told he couldn't lay a hand on me, or else.)

Anyway, DON'T TRUST THAT WHAT YOU WRITE WILL BE CONFIDENTIAL.

Few of us wish our co-workers, or former co-workers, harm, especially in these times, and when there is a young child involved. The world is filled with guys like the one looking for a job, and nothing on your part will ever change the imperfection in the world.

OH, ONE LAST OPTION -- maybe it's already been mentioned? That would be to ask the person requesting your recommendation if he still wants you to write something, after you tell him that it would not be the glowing recommendation he seeks. Let HIM decide. He may go with someone else, instead, which would take the burden out of your hands.

A or D. Why would you, and why are people, condoning lying?

Larry David had a cousin to this problem in season 9. He caught on.

https://youtu.be/taf8gV6a_gQ