Is it odd if a guy is best friends with an ex-girlfriend?

It's definitely not odd but unhealthy.

Very common as guy will get dumped (or convince himself it's a "mutual breakup" when it was really her idea) and then cling to the idea that some day they will get back together so will keep in touch and pine after her.

I highly advise against this - unless you haven't spoken for AT LEAST a couple years and you become friends randomly wayyyy down the road.

Yes, let's say the dating period/being together period was more than 5 years ago.

Not odd or unhealthy imo

Could be unhealthy if said guy or gal is dating an insecure, jealous person. Though, it could be used as a good weeding out method.

I never stayed in touch with any of my X girlfriends. My logic was that if they were good enough they would not have been my X :-)

A spouse should have no friends of the opposite sex. Someone with friends of the opposite sex is a floozy with a bunch of Plan B's. Besides the opposite sex doesn't make a good friend.

Yes men and women can be friends after dating . Common? Only among the emotional secure.

Im still friends with Elaine

wineturtle wrote:

Yes men and women can be friends after dating . Common? Only among the emotional secure.

...Or the emotionally insecure. I'm sure a very small percentage of people can actually be best friends with their exes, but most of the time, I'd suspect at least one party is not being honest about their true feelings towards the other person. I'd be extremely skeptical if a girl I was dating said her best friend was an old boyfriend. It is weird, and if they tried to play it off like it were normal, I'd consider that red flag #2.

I give this Russian girl the ol' stink eye every time I see her.

It was my fault though. We never dated, but it was my baggage that ruined everything. I blame myself, and I will never date crazies, fatties, tattooies, mommies, sickies, or chicks with BPD.

I lost 40 pounds, became kind of popular (like a badboy), earned some true friends (they're the kind of people that if I ever meet them again in the future, I will help them out financially, even though we never regularly hung out - they earned my heart).

When I see that Russian girl again, I fantasize that she approaches ME this time. But I'll tell her:

"I'll only talk to you if you can ... catch me."

Then I sprint away and see if she'll come for me.

In real life, we live about 15 miles apart. I saw her at a Costco last Christmas break. I don't consider her a friend, but I consider her as a familiar.

hmmmmmmmmmm wrote:

Said ex-girlfriend is with another guy and lives in another country, but is it odd if a guy is still good friends and stays in touch? Or is this not uncommon?

Odd? Maybe out of the ordinary.

The question is: are you okay with it? If so, stop worrying about what others' think.

No - it's unhealthy regardless of if they are jealous or not. It keeps you "attached" longer and doesn't allow healing. Breaking up is like experiencing any other kind of emotional loss and you need to get over it - being around the person you are still pining for is definitely not healthy.

Friendz wrote:

Not odd or unhealthy imo

Could be unhealthy if said guy or gal is dating an insecure, jealous person. Though, it could be used as a good weeding out method.

Exactly - it speaks to attachment - your inability to accept it is over - it's really a stage of grief (you want to hold on). There is ALWAYS one person who likes the other person more. Even in so called "mutual" break ups.

Reggie Beefcake wrote:

wineturtle wrote:

Yes men and women can be friends after dating . Common? Only among the emotional secure.

...Or the emotionally insecure. I'm sure a very small percentage of people can actually be best friends with their exes, but most of the time, I'd suspect at least one party is not being honest about their true feelings towards the other person. I'd be extremely skeptical if a girl I was dating said her best friend was an old boyfriend. It is weird, and if they tried to play it off like it were normal, I'd consider that red flag #2.

Well, let's say there was a friendship beforehand, and after it was maintained because the breakup was amicable (one person moving countries).

I'm " best friends" with my high school sweetheart, 13 years later. That's because we have sex once or twice a year. We're both happily married but never could quite stop the feelings.

Not trolling.

If your wife is OK with this then great. If not you've got some real issues and are a true dick.

Devil Dog wrote:

I'm " best friends" with my high school sweetheart, 13 years later. That's because we have sex once or twice a year. We're both happily married but never could quite stop the feelings.

Not trolling.

Depends if you're bring transparent about it. She's not just a friend if your wife doesn't know about her.

Devil Dog wrote:

I'm " best friends" with my high school sweetheart, 13 years later. That's because we have sex once or twice a year. We're both happily married but never could quite stop the feelings.

Not trolling.

I'm confused, are you married to your high school sweat heart, or just bang her once a year?

thepsychologist wrote:

It's definitely not odd but unhealthy.

Very common as guy will get dumped (or convince himself it's a "mutual breakup" when it was really her idea) and then cling to the idea that some day they will get back together so will keep in touch and pine after her.

I highly advise against this - unless you haven't spoken for AT LEAST a couple years and you become friends randomly wayyyy down the road.

My best friend is someone I broke up with. She's married. I don't think it's that odd. We're grown ups.

I have three older brothers and a very close family. We can’t date a girl without them meeting everyone and spending time with us all. While I’m not “best friends” with any ex-girlfriends (my best friends are guys and my same friends from school, and my brothers) and I wouldn’t say any girl was ever the same level as a guy friend, I am still friendly with my ex’s. I just never go out of my way to hang out with them and rarely speak to them unless I run into them. But my mom is friends with my ex-girlfriends and my brothers ex-girlfriends. I’m actually also still friends with some of my brothers ex-girlfriends and I know they are still friendly with some of mine. It’s not a big deal being friends. The weird thing is having a girl who is your “best friend”. I don’t know how a guy can have a girl as a best friend. Makes no sense. Guys just look at stuff different. But, whatever.