i cant stand my "running buddy" anymore

TLDR. What’s your question?

The stuff she says about you is WAY worse. Anyway, you can probably find some boys to train with and you won't have half the drama.

Perhaps a letter to the editor of Teen Vogue?

Be honest and tell her you can see through the fact she's clearly envious and it needs to stop because her trying to out do you on easy runs all is Sabotaging her own training.

So do you have to run with her? Just tell her you are not in the mood for talking. If she still is yapping away find another running partner.

Number one reason I run alone. I hate talking.

sorry, my main question is how to avoid my bad teammate while without making coach hate me or how to have a better less competitive friendship with her (which i doubt is even possible at this point)

sorry if this is dramatic or teen vouge-esc but i am serious

ps when i run with other teammates she gets pissed off because thats "not what good running buddies do"

do i just wait it out bc i only have a year left?

My advice: you are taking on a significant amount of responsibility and obligation that you simply don’t need to. Simply let go of worrying about her and focus on yourself first. Her training needs are not more important than yours - if she stops early or cuts runs shorts, you don’t need to. If she runs too fast, that’s on her. If your coach complains, simply say that you are training in the best way for YOU. If he pushes, ask why her training should be prioritized over yours. Stop giving her advice. Stop worrying about comforting her, her emotional well being is not your responsibility. If she runs with you, fine. Just don’t engage with the negative stuff. She has an issue? “Oh that sucks” but don’t try to fix it. She is clearly very insecure and nothing you can say will magically fix that. So just stop engaging so you don’t fall into the black hole of need.

Though I’m also going to say, the parts about your coach feel weird. For one thing, no adult coach should be “close” with a high schooler. Especially to a point where he’s prioritizing her over you.

Talk to your coach. A good coach should understand if a runner wants to do their easy runs at their own pace, as long as they are not going too ridiculously slow ( I've coached some 17-18min guys that liked to putter around at 12+min pace on easy days).

So what if she says that? You are not required to live by her idea of what a “good running buddy” does. If she can keep up, she can run with you. If she can’t, then she can’t.

Compete with the team mate? Come on truth is you are worried about her beating you. You are already competing with her so own it. Use this summer to get super fit then stomp her arse every chance you get then you will genuinely feel magnanimous towards your little friend. Coach will see you as a leader. So quit with the boo hoo make some lemonade get out there and do The Summer of Malmo.

Your teammate really sounds toxic, assuming you are not exaggerating.

Options:

1. honestly talk to your teammate and your coach about how you feel

2. Like the one poster suggested, run with the boys team, assuming you can keep up with their slower guys and their workouts work for you.

3. Just suck it up for a year

I've experienced a toxic situation much like you're describing. Best thing I've ever done is just stop running with her. My attitude and racing has improved tremendously since I've completely stopped running with her. I've found positive running partners both men and women who aren't so needy making everything all about them.

One tactic is to say the time you run together no longer is working for you, if that's possible.

runnergirl250 wrote:

sorry, my main question is how to avoid my bad teammate while without making coach hate me or how to have a better less competitive friendship with her (which i doubt is even possible at this point)

sorry if this is dramatic or teen vouge-esc but i am serious

ps when i run with other teammates she gets pissed off because thats "not what good running buddies do"

do i just wait it out bc i only have a year left?

Run faster.

"Oh sorry, c*nty girl, I can't run with you because you're too slow. It's not that I want you to f*ck off. You're just too slow, so I won't get any physiological benefit from running with you."

My daughter has a VERY similar predicament and I'll tell you what I tell her.

To be the best you have to beat the best. Don't be afraid. If you lose to her, you grow too.

Never train for someone else. Run at your pace. It takes 2 to compete in training. Simply refuse to run at a pace you are uncomfortable with.

Xc is a team sport and you need her to be fast as much as she needs you to be.

You should really be able to get along with people you dislike. It shows maturity. Both the coach and the girl are examples.

Lastly, you can only control yourself. You cannot change them so do the best to put your mind right and get over the things you cannot change.

My favorite drama posts have been:

1) how much should I take down my co-workers strava record?

2) The office pooper (now deleted)

Search up the first one for some good story writing skills. You have poor set up and no clinfhanger. It’s all about the payout.

Teen vogue, letsrun message board, pretty much the same thing.

The easiest solution is to get one of the guys to self identify as a female to your coach when you are around. When your coach loses his mind, say you will keep the guy company during training so he isn't discriminated against. If your coach makes any fuss, sue him under Title IX for all he is worth.

Whenever you're near a ditch give her nudge while she's running next to you. That should silence her.

Run with boys. Always less drama.