Engagement ring help!

Another quick topic. What are your thoughts on the lab created diamonds. Or even a ring with a different kind of stone if that's even a thing...

Save yourself a huge hassle and pick out rings sometime together. Don't buy the ring together or let her know exactly what kind or ring or when. Just let her size a ring at a jeweler, and give you a couple ideas of what she likes. Baguettes, pave, halo, etc.

It isn't weird to do. You will have the right size ring. Your SO will have the ring she wants. I am really glad my fiance and I looked at rings beforehand. Her taste is a lot different than mine.

Only my own opinion to the post before.

As for lab created diamonds, no one will know the difference except a gemologist that has the ring under a magnifying glass.

Different types of precious stones may work. But my preference is classic and timeless, so I went with the diamond. Whether it is 1850, 1950, or 2017, a diamond is still as expensive and popular as ever.

This (above - "pick out rings together") x infinity!

My girlfriend has specific tastes in rings. We have internet browsed and looked in a bunch of stores together so I have a very good idea what she likes and her go-ahead to pick one.

Sizing is important. My girlfriend has a size 5.25 finger. One saleswoman told me that the usual size for pre-mades is 6 or 7, and that resizing down to a 5-5.25 from a 7 will deform the ring shape, so be careful what you pick.

We are likely going with a sapphire or black diamond for ours. That's what she likes more than anything else. We are also going with her choice of style, not mine, because it's going on her finger. I probably wouldn't have picked something in the right style without her input.

it's very easy to figure out her ring size - take one of her rings - trace the inside circumference and there you go.

As for buying:

1. Attempt to know the style of ring and the cut she likes - if you don't know that going with a Traditional round or emerald cut is timeless and classic.

2. Do not under any circumstance get a lab created stone unless you really can't afford a true diamond. If she ever finds out or her friends find out that will be the end for you.

3. If she has a strong preference for another gem you can always make that the centerpiece with some diamonds on the side.

4. match the ring color to the majority of her jewelry

5. Women love large carat weight stones now -skimp on the clarity and color and go for carat weight and cut.

6. IMO - save up to at least get a full carat diamond can't go wrong with that.

If you want it to be a surprise you can go ring shopping together and pick out a few you like and don't tell her which one you'll get. Otherwise yes the jeweler will have resize it after as ring sizes are very precise.

Take her sister/friend, let them pick it out. Chances are, they have talked about it before and they know what each other wants. They at least know their style. The ring can be resized after the fact, it needs to be close, but not perfect. Try to find a ring she wears, and bring it with you, the jeweler will be able to determine the size.

Also, about the fake stones - its safe to assume that she will eventually find out that its fake at some point in time (rings need to be serviced/may need to be insured) and act accordingly.

advice321 wrote:

Take her sister/friend, let them pick it out. Chances are, they have talked about it before and they know what each other wants.

Red flag

Thanks for the feedback so far. It sounds like it makes more sense to go together and get the ring for when she doesn't exactly suspect it. I was originally thinking it would take some of the excitement out of it, but maybe not ?

John Clendon wrote:

Different types of precious stones may work. But my preference is classic and timeless, so I went with the diamond. Whether it is 1850, 1950, or 2017, a diamond is still as expensive and popular as ever.

Your preference for diamonds is neither classic nor timeless.

The cultural practice of diamonds as engagement gifts is tied very specifically to a particular time and place and a sustained advertising campaign to create a market:

Absolutely serious post here.

Go to a pawn shop or if you are in a big city, look on Craigslist. You can save serious, serious money on the diamond. Buy it for cheaper, take it to a jeweler and have it re-set. Make sure the seller has papers that it is certified.

Mr. Obvious wrote:

Your preference for diamonds is neither classic nor timeless.

The cultural practice of diamonds as engagement gifts is tied very specifically to a particular time and place and a sustained advertising campaign to create a market:

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/

Thanks for the referral to a magazine article that refers to its own magazine article as a source.

A diamond is timeless and classic. Please review engagement ring trends from the past three centuries.

I did not say it is the ONLY timeless and classic stone, but that it is.

Also, similar to pearls, the neutral color of a diamond will match with anything she is wearing.

John Clendon wrote:

Save yourself a huge hassle and pick out rings sometime together. Don't buy the ring together or let her know exactly what kind or ring or when. Just let her size a ring at a jeweler, and give you a couple ideas of what she likes. Baguettes, pave, halo, etc.

It isn't weird to do. You will have the right size ring. Your SO will have the ring she wants. I am really glad my fiance and I looked at rings beforehand. Her taste is a lot different than mine.

Very good advice.

Also, if possible, buy the one she liked, but didn't think you could afford.

For sizing. The tracing idea above is a solid idea. I was pretty lucky in that my gf (now wife) had always worn a simple/basic ring on her ring finger and took it off every night. So one night while she was asleep I used that ring on my pinky to determine exactly where it stopped. Went ring shopping a few days later and used the same measurement style to narrow down choices that fit. The ring fit (and still does) perfectly.

Off-topic now...

I also got lucky in that she did not want a diamond. She wanted a basic silver ring with turquoise stone. We used the money I saved to go on a road trip instead.

Engagement Ring Help wrote:

I'm starting to think about an engagement ring for my significant other.

We have never gone to a jeweler browsing, and I want to make it a surprise for her. My main question to any LR'ers is if you made it a surprise, how did you figure out the ring size. Do jewelers re size if you get it wrong? I don't know anything about rings or where to get started.

1. Diamonds are blood.

2. Go to pawn shops in Vegas, you can get great deals.

Piping in with a female perspective (& recently engaged):

1) Go with the surprise. I was so happy I was surprised. It shows you put the time and effort into thinking about this. Note: It doesn't have to be a major production.

2) Ring size: Take one of her rings that you know fits her (if she won't notice) and get the size from any jeweler in your neighborhood, then replace her ring where you got it from. 2nd option: trace the inside of one of her rings (if you can). 3rd option: try to figure out which of your fingers matches her ring finger (left hand). You can do this when you're holding hands, or eyeball your hand next to hers when her hand is flat on her lap, etc. If unsure, just go a size above your best guess -- jewelers can always resize a ring after you buy it. It's easy to do and they won't charge if you bought it from them.

3) Shine counts. I literally look at my ring every day b/c I notice the sparkle. Ignore the guy who said women are all about carat count. Find a balance of carat, color and clarity that you can afford. Make it sparkle. She'll love it. Jewelers can show you how different carats, colors and clarities change the way a diamond looks.

4) Go with a jeweler you get a good feel for. It doesn't matter if it comes from a "name brand store." If you like the people in the store and get a good vibe that they aren't ripping you off - that's the store to go with. You'll probably end up going back there to get your wedding bands anyway, and she can pick out her own then.

Good luck!

oh boyyy wrote:

advice321 wrote:

Take her sister/friend, let them pick it out. Chances are, they have talked about it before and they know what each other wants.

Red flag

how is having someone else know your style a red flag? If you're girlfriend isn't into flashy jewelry, her sister/friend would know that. As men, we are generally too oblivious to notice things like this.

Whoa whoa whoa - I agree shine counts - that's why I referenced going for carat and CUT. The shine you talk of is the light refracting inward from the outside of the diamond and reflecting off the angled cuts. The more precise the cut the better the shine which is why I don't think clarity or color matter as much. An excellent cut diamond will shine and sparkle more than a clearer diamond. Here is an example:1ct, flawless, D color, ideal cut - ~$17k 2ct. VS1, G color, ideal cut - ~ $21k All I'm saying is the cut is what matters and then go for size - to see any of the flaws in the stone you would need a jewlers loop or to see the color difference you would need a true colorless stone next you yours (will never happen) since it will be mounted.

Been there, done that wrote:

3) Shine counts. I literally look at my ring every day b/c I notice the sparkle. Ignore the guy who said women are all about carat count. Find a balance of carat, color and clarity that you can afford. Make it sparkle. She'll love it. Jewelers can show you how different carats, colors and clarities change the way a diamond looks.