How did your parents not meet your needs? Do you hold it against them?

My Mom was fine. My childhood was perfect as far as I am concerned.

(I did not grow up with a Dad)

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People who complain about their parents are generally whiners/losers as far as I can tell. Of course, some have valid complaints. But most just like to think of themselves as "victims".

my father failed to raise me to be an NFL prospect quarterback. i used to hold it against him until i found solace in heroin and internet message boards.

My parents didn't allow me to fail, I never learned grit, resilience, and how to deal with life kicking you in the head.

I have no resentment, they did their best and showed unconditional love.

Yet, you are an utter failure. How'd that happen?

Coach wrote:

My parents didn't allow me to fail, I never learned grit, resilience, and how to deal with life kicking you in the head.

I have no resentment, they did their best and showed unconditional love.

My parents allowed my adult brother, a psychotic meth addict, to live with us when I was a teenager. He was their little ray of sunshine and there was nothing that anyone could do or say to get them to stop enabling him. There was no amount of suffering or danger to my life too great caused by him that would have even for a fleeting second have caused my parents to think about kicking him out. When I was 14 the child protective services whisked me away into state custody due to the situation, but I found out the only thing worse than life at home was life with the state when the first thing they did was force me to take about 5 difference psychiatric drugs, so I never spoke to the social workers again after that experience. I told my mother every time I saw her that I despised her. She died two years ago and I do not miss her.

OK, you've got a real beef.

Sorry.

I have not an issue with my parents meeting my needs.

I was free to pursue my interests and they did their best to with whatever was within their means.

Both of my parents had distorted values and awful problem solving skills. I should be a regular poster on /r/raisedbynarcissists but the best for me would be /r/raisedbyclusterapersonalitytypeswithnarcissistictendencies if it existed. My father is a cruel man (aspd) and my mother is tumultuous (borderline). They failed me every step of the way from a chaotic household environment to witnessing police interventions in our family while my sibling and i were young to dropping the ball basically every time they were supposed to step up as parents for us. Collectively they just aren't good people.

And yes I hold it against them. However they taught me exactly what not to become.

Uhhhh... I know this place is full of trolls who don't admit to trolling, but please, are you being serious? Your post is almost identical to what I went through. I've posted about it a number of times on here, so I can't tell if you're ripping off my story or being genuine.

The real guy like you wrote:

Uhhhh... I know this place is full of trolls who don't admit to trolling, but please, are you being serious? Your post is almost identical to what I went through. I've posted about it a number of times on here, so I can't tell if you're ripping off my story or being genuine.

ha...not trolling in the least, but I'm pretty sure we've run into each other before in similar threads.

Divorced parents. My dad was overbearing and would bad mouth my mom. Everything had to be my dad's way. Things got considerably worse when my dad remarried. He had a miserable marriage and it was pretty clear early on why my mom divorced him. My dad and his wife would yell and scream at each other every single day. I couldn't wait for the weekend when I would be at my mom's. My mom never remarried and had a pretty mellow life, just passed away too young. I wish I would have moved in with my mom full time when my dad remarried.

My dad's second wife divorced him and did everything she could to make his life miserable. We don't have much of a relationship now.

I don't resent my parents. If anything they do more for me than I deserve and probably resent me

My parents were kind, even keeled, generous, selfless, ethical and attentive. No gripes here.

EvereeOne wrote:

It seems everyone feel some resentment towards their parents for not meeting all of their needs. In what ways did your parents not meet your needs? Have you been able to get over it? Did you ever tell them?

Well, my father sexually abused me starting when I was around 4 or 5. My mom knew it and did nothing. There was no affection from my mom, she was cold. There was no affection between my parents. I never got to confront my father, he died. My mom is still alive and I started to tell her once, to confront her. Then I realized she'd never admit it, and that it was simply enough that I knew the truth, and an amazing therapist helped me work through the trauma. She didn't take care of me, protect me or give me love and I will probably always hold it against her.

They fed, clothed and made sure I got an education, but it means nothing since I'm so f'ed up in this world. Have a lot of major issues with self esteem, relationship issues. They were both broken people and managed to help further the family line of brokenness.

My parents did a lot of good things with good intentions, but they had their flaws. I didn't like my dad until my late teens, he seemed too reserved towards us kids (did not talk to me much) and angry at us when he did. But he always helped and supported me when I needed it. My mother was overprotective and worried excessively, which only hurt me. I was painfully shy at one point, still have mild social anxiety and excessive self consciousness at 24 now. I think her over protective personality did not allow me to develop properly in a sense of being exposed to and learning from certain situations. A lot of parents need to learn that being overprotective does not help children. They think they are being good parents, but they are holding the kids back. Overall though , i really appreciate the unconditional support from them at all times. They are good people who would do anything for their family.

Well get ready for an entire generation of over protected kids becoming adults. I've never seen kids so dotted on as the typical suburban kid is these days.

The children live like little kings & queens, the parents center every single activity towards the children's happiness. Every indulgence is given into, every whim, catered to. These kids are going to be terrible people.

My parents "let me be," that is, they did not stand in the way of anything, rarely knew where I was/what I was doing, and paid for things I wanted (like music lessons, gymnastics, cultural trips to the city, college...).

I am grateful for their benign neglect.

I asked for a small loan of a million dollars, but they said no