Why do distance runners struggle with the ladies?

Cross country girls, do they date?

Low BMI's make poor mating selections. It's very primitive but that's the way the human brain works......

Being "friend zoned" comes from a lack of confidence not from any particular disinterest from the ladies. Other guys just figure out whether the girl likes them immediately and move on.

Low testosterone

Runners are chasers, and attractive women are sexually repulsed by chasers, no matter what they may say to the contrary. Chasers are only good for being friend-zoned, made into providers, etc..

T-Rex wrote:

Cross country girls, do they date?

Yes, other men

My W8 is f9 wrote:

Low BMI's make poor mating selections. It's very primitive but that's the way the human brain works......

Which is why so many women end up into abusive relationships or those which are short lived. Why so many seemingly wholesome women are attracted to all the jerkoff is beyond me. Perhaps the question has been already answered.

Not right.

I'd say there's some degree of selection bias related to the personality type that distance running attracts.

Many of the runners I've known are somewhat introverted and obsessive. This is not to criticize those characteristics, but rather to acknowledge that such traits are not always conducive to success with the ladies.

Fortunately, during college, runners of both sexes tend to let their proverbial hair down a bit. Once the lads and lasses develop greater social confidence and self-esteem, they are able to discover the joys of romantic relationships. Practice makes perfect; the important thing is just to break the ice.

I've never bought into the whole "distance runners' bodies aren't sexy" BS. A lean and ectomorphic frame can still turn on members of the opposite sex. What's more important is the personality and personal bearing of the individual attached to such a frame.

low BMI, acne from sweating so damn much from 2-a-day workouts plus chicks don't dig dudes who sit-n-kick waiting for the other person to "make a move" chicks dig 100m guys who go after it from the gun.

Move to the 800. 800 guys got the bods that drive women crazy.

DDSMD wrote:

low BMI, acne from sweating so damn much from 2-a-day workouts plus chicks don't dig dudes who sit-n-kick waiting for the other person to "make a move" chicks dig 100m guys who go after it from the gun.

I appreciate this sad (but true) metaphor

Maybe your team is full of weird people.Also the "friend zone" is something invented by weird awkward people too nervous to ask someone out.They create the 'friend zone" so that they don't have to face their fear of rejection. Which of course, inevitably comes to people that use the term "friend zone"Common misconception. There are a lot of smart football players that are better people than you. Your inability to ask out a woman is your own fault, not the girl's, not the football player's, and certainly not the sport you chose.

SadMittenRunner wrote:

I mean we're a heck of a lot smarter and nicer than those meatheads on the football team, so what gives??

Asking my fellow LRC.

if runners can't get women then its a testament of kind of people that gravitate towards running rather than women having a problem with running itself. I find women always appreciate the fact that I run (don't talk about things like times and serious stuff though, no one wants to hear that)

at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you do. Women like confident and charismatic men, not quiet and timid

Ocean State wrote:

I'd say there's some degree of selection bias related to the personality type that distance running attracts.

Many of the runners I've known are somewhat introverted and obsessive. This is not to criticize those characteristics, but rather to acknowledge that such traits are not always conducive to success with the ladies.

Fortunately, during college, runners of both sexes tend to let their proverbial hair down a bit. Once the lads and lasses develop greater social confidence and self-esteem, they are able to discover the joys of romantic relationships. Practice makes perfect; the important thing is just to break the ice.

I've never bought into the whole "distance runners' bodies aren't sexy" BS. A lean and ectomorphic frame can still turn on members of the opposite sex. What's more important is the personality and personal bearing of the individual attached to such a frame.

I think you are correct to a great extent. A lot of young distance runners, male and female will spend 90% of their time obsessing over academics and athletics and only socialize with kids who are just like them. That obsessiveness becomes their personality trait and this is how the opposite sex sees them and it is not a very romantic characterization. Not having muscles or hips plays a biological role as well, but since there are a lot of non-runner thin guys and gals who date a lot, the biology is only part of it. Guys tend to be interested in girls who they perceive as interested in guys and vice versa. Also, when you spend all of your time obsessing over running a PR and/or getting an A+ in an honors class, you are not developing the social skills for romance.

This is an issue I've dealt with when I was coaching H.S. Young, attractive and successful kids in their late teens who have never been kissed and have no prospects for the prom. I had a situation where a female I coached was one of the top students at a highly academic high school and was one of the top runners in the nation. Her name is someone a lot LRC members would know. She asked me if I could help set her up with my son for the prom, she broke down crying when I told her my son already had his prom date. It bothered (actual angered) her that the girl he was going to the prom with was perceived as a pot smoking slut, which wasn't exactly the case, but never-the-less, he choose this girl over her, someone he had been friends with since 7th grade. Turns out, my son liked this runnergirl girl since middle school, but felt all she was interested in was being friends and running. The advice I gave this kid was the same advice I gave my own son and daughter and that was to break out of the runner-straight A student circle, get to know other kids in the school and do something to let the opposite sex know that you are interested. You don't need to be perceived as a pot smoking slut, but exchange your Nikes for a pair of pumps and put on some lipstick every now and then. If a runnergirl comes to school just once with lipstick or a runnerguy with a fresh hair cut and shoes, that one incidence signals you are interested the opposite sex. - Hopefully this helps.

+1 I appreciate the insight & words of wisdom. I was never really glued to my textbooks in high school, but I did have some of the "socially awkward" runner tendencies you described.

Now I'm entering my freshman year of college with the confidence that a fresh start brings, and I'm looking forward to continue to compete in xc/track.

SadMittenRunner wrote:

+1 I appreciate the insight & words of wisdom. I was never really glued to my textbooks in high school, but I did have some of the "socially awkward" runner tendencies you described.

Now I'm entering my freshman year of college with the confidence that a fresh start brings, and I'm looking forward to continue to compete in xc/track.

Don't shit where you eat. Look beyond the XC women.

Ocean State wrote:

Many of the runners I've known are somewhat introverted and obsessive. This is not to criticize those characteristics, but rather to acknowledge that such traits are not always conducive to success with the ladies.

Fortunately, during college, runners of both sexes tend to let their proverbial hair down a bit. Once the lads and lasses develop greater social confidence and self-esteem, they are able to discover the joys of romantic relationships. Practice makes perfect; the important thing is just to break the ice.

I've never bought into the whole "distance runners' bodies aren't sexy" BS. A lean and ectomorphic frame can still turn on members of the opposite sex. What's more important is the personality and personal bearing of the individual attached to such a frame.

Nice post. In HS had to hustle to get into a good college, studied hard to get into med school, focussed hard on that, and noe residency.

I'd mack on more shorties now but working long hours and keeping patients alive more important now.

Of course I'd like to think that a youngish in-shape dude making good money with bullet-proof job stability would have to be somewhat attractive. Haha.

HS kids should be focused on academics, amicable friends, hobbies and family. Dating is futile, distracting and potentially damaging.

At least half the women in the USA are overweight. So a fit distance runner guy isn't going to date a fat girl. They have trouble getting ladies because they cut the number of dateable women in half.