My failed attempt at writing a Hollywood screenplay (summary)

Living in NYC for 30 years now and would love to see this movie, actually. Although I'm not sure if there's enough meat on the bone. Would be really interested in seeing some sample dialogue. Maybe your writing wasn't punchy enough.

Well I actually threw the script away because I was so sad over the rejection.

I wrote a spin-off script that I'm trying to pitch now less focused on romantic tension and more of underdog story. Would you like to hear about it?

yeah

400mBreh wrote:

Well I actually threw the script away because I was so sad over the rejection.

I wrote a spin-off script that I'm trying to pitch now less focused on romantic tension and more of underdog story. Would you like to hear about it?

Only if it stars Alexi Pappas.

It's about this guy named "James Lovers-Brunch." A 6'4 NYC playboy who cleans up with women and runs the NYC brunch scene. He and his friends, "The Brunchmen" can be seen at the top boozy brunch locations year round with a table full of eggs Benedict, mimosas and, of course, women.

These "Brunchmen" fit the fratty mold to a T. Pink button downs, boat shoes, wayfarers and who can forget the "I don't give a f---" hair and dad bods. Mmmmmmm.

James Lovers-Brunch struts around NYC styling on manlets all day every day. But he doesn't do so without his insecurities. Although Jimmy is tall, his body is lumpy, soft and would never be mistaken for athletic. He's also far from a "Clark Gabel" in the face. Women rate him as a 3.5, 4 on a good day. But women can't resist his 180 douchy attitude, money and of course, the holy grail, his height.

One day at brunch, Roberto walks by. Roberto is new and unlike the Brunchmen, he's not fratty in anyway. Roberto is 5'11, built like a solid athlete, fitted new era backwards hat, Tight fitted dry fit with a Griffey logo. Roberto is also a light skinned half Puerto Rican with a perfect smile to go along with his strong jaw and model-like face. It always seems like Roberto is grinning.

Roberto introduced himself to Jimmy and asked if he can join. James replied, "get the f*** out of here you prole piece of s*** manlet!" All of the brunchmen laughed and cheered and high fived. The women reluctantly joined in, but not without first noticing Roberto's stunning looks. Roberto, with a grin, winked and said, "maybe another time."

Later that night Jimmy saw Roberto at the hottest club in Manhattan, One Tree. Roberto was partying it up, dancing on the floor. Laughing with Jimmy's girls. Winning them over with his charm. As Jimmy sat in his $1700 an hour bottle service booth, he couldn't believe that all of his women were with Roberto. Roberto looked over to Jimmy with that same grin and winked at him.

One of Jimmy's girls, an 18 year old model from Paris, responded "Isn't Roberto so awesome! He plays in the Yankees organization, for the Staten Island Yankees! He invited us to the game tomorrow!"

Jimmy replied, "You stupid whore! We have brunch tomorrow! And don't you know that I am an all star on my softball team! Now let me rip your panties off and lick you for hours!"

The next day, Jimmy and The Brunchmen sat at brunch on a Manhattan sidewalk but this time without women. Jimmy shouted out "where are these sluts? I told them 11." A cop walked by and said, "Ay Jimmy! You talkin' bout your girls? I just saw them on the Staten Island Ferry an hour ago. They were dressed for a ballgame."

James is enraged and so are The Brunchmen. They're off to Staten Island to win their girls back. Will height prevail? Will Jimmy be able to steal his girls back from Roberto? I guess Jimmy will be having a late brunch.... a "Staten Island Brunch."

Bump

I'm smelling a second fail

I can't believe you typed that whole thing.

And I read it.

Well, it's lot better than the "Tracktown" movie at least.