Is it normal to fall in love with a roommate of the opposite sex?

Stockholm Syndrome.

No, your mother is off limits.

You need to get the hell out of that basement, dude!

I fell for a housemate a few years back. We ended up being together for about a year, during which she moved to another house and I think she fell in with a guy at her new place. Not sure about that though, but she did start hanging out with him a lot and broke up with me so I figured as much.

Do me a favor if you do end up making a move on her and she turns you down, just be ok with it and don't pout and be a big jerk about it. I think things would have worked out better in our case if I had been more like that.

freudianslips wrote:

Stockholm Syndrome.

!

Good one

hold her hand

You satisfy all her female emotional needs. That's kind of you. But rest assured that some bad mf'er probably screws the crap out of her every now and then. The fact that you're a wuss doesn't mean that she doesn't get her physical needs satisfied.

It's more normal than falling in love with a roommate of the same sex.

Sounds like it's all you guys who are living in your mother's basement or are destined to do so with the maturity of your posts.

friend zone wrote:

You satisfy all her female emotional needs. That's kind of you. But rest assured that some bad mf'er probably screws the crap out of her every now and then. The fact that you're a wuss doesn't mean that she doesn't get her physical needs satisfied.

You obviously have never even thought about a situation like mine. It's generally not a good idea to start sleeping with your roommate, especially when there are still months on the lease. We each have our own lives too. Neither one of us has pursued the other at all and has no real desire to at the moment. We've both dated other people in the time we've been living together. That's not a big deal at all. That's how adult life works. Also, in a few years you might realize there's more to a happy and fulfilling relationship than access to a vagina. It's not exactly difficult to find girls who give you that. It's a lot harder to find girls who you would want to spend time with even if they never gave you that.

not if you're gay

Its pretty normal for guys. According to sociology, Men have trouble distinguishing between liking and loving someone--women don't normally have this problem and can distinguish their feeling better. Basically this means that guys tend to "fall in love" or think they are falling in love with their friends. So as guys spend more time with a girl, they tend to fall in love.

Yes, and it's called the law of proximity. You'll need to to everything possible to "read" the situation and see if she feels the same way about you. Chances are no, but even if yes, then you have to be prepared for the relationship not working out and then the living situation being untenable. If you aren't prepared for all of that, then make a deliberate effort to date other people and not entertain this thought further.

friend zone wrote:

You satisfy all her female emotional needs. That's kind of you. But rest assured that some bad mf'er probably screws the crap out of her every now and then. The fact that you're a wuss doesn't mean that she doesn't get her physical needs satisfied.

Bingo.

Congratulations, you are her male friend. Now get out. Now.

And then seek therapy, because this kind of setup is a clue other stuff in your life has screwed you up to make it okay that she's only available as a non-sexual "friend."

college4miler wrote:

Its pretty normal for guys. According to sociology, Men have trouble distinguishing between liking and loving someone--women don't normally have this problem and can distinguish their feeling better. Basically this means that guys tend to "fall in love" or think they are falling in love with their friends. So as guys spend more time with a girl, they tend to fall in love.

This might be true. Move out and stay away for a few months actively dating.

Then try to take it to the next level. But, chances are excellent you are a "friend" and that's the end.

Don't dwell. No drama. Inaction only makes it all much, much worse. But, then maybe that's what you are looking for anyway.

runDirtyrun wrote:

friend zone wrote:

You satisfy all her female emotional needs. That's kind of you. But rest assured that some bad mf'er probably screws the crap out of her every now and then. The fact that you're a wuss doesn't mean that she doesn't get her physical needs satisfied.

Bingo.

Congratulations, you are her male friend. Now get out. Now.

And then seek therapy, because this kind of setup is a clue other stuff in your life has screwed you up to make it okay that she's only available as a non-sexual "friend."

You guys are both idiots. What do you think is expected when two people of the opposite sex decide to live together? Do you not expect them to have some sort of friendship? Do you really not understand that there're ways for a male to benefit from a woman besides sex? Geezus Krist. I hope you two aren't older than 20 or 21. Your perspective is so limited you aren't even able to understand the situation. Sex is not some ultimate goal, especially when you're someone who can have it frequently if desired. When you're thinking about marriage and children, there's a lot more to consider than simply "will this girl allow me access to her vagina." You guys sound like teenagers.

I'll admit that you don't sound like a teenager. Your inexperience and self pity makes you more like a 12 year old.

One day you'll grow up. It will hurt though.

it's not unusual

Here's the truth.

Yes it's normal. VERY normal.

After college, I was debating moving in with a friend of mine that was a girl (i'm a boy). I was talking about what it would be like at work to live platonically with someone of the opposite sex. A co-worker who was about 30 said, "Look the guy/girl living thing isn't an issue in this day and age. Your missing the key question. Ask yourself, one and only question, 'How will you feel after you two hook up?"

I protested. "But we are just friends."

Reply: "Trust me. 100% you will hook up. I've been there."

Sure enough she was right. I think the co-worker was more of the party type who felt like a man and woman in close quarters, both attractive will hook up at least once if they get hammered enough. I actually fell for my roommate.

It was VERY tough when we didn't end up dating but are friends now.

DONT **** WHERE U EAT BRO