Should a girlfriend be "good friends" and keep in "regular contact" with her last bf, who she was &quot

dump her. trust me man, I would know from experience if you know what I mean.

IAmWondering wrote:

Is this something to be concerned about?

Only if you are an unconfident, jealous, beta-male. And judging by the fact that your started this thread, I would say that's a 'yes.'

You're getting sloppy seconds

haha yo, your lack of confidence, A LOT!

There are some human beings can stay friends after relationship. nothing wrong with it. if you are sure of yourself, and you are this kinda person, its just the way it is! ex is someone she cared about, loved before, why she has to totally cut off someone shared so many things together and used to be so close just because sometimes not good timing or long distance for whatever reason. she stays in touch with him can tell you that she is open-minded and honest with you. you dont want to date someone who hide themselves' feeling and maybe they dont contact but she who still is deeply falling for her ex. non-sense. Hate is a feeling takes more energy than love, deeper. if you hate someone, yes you wont contact him/her, but think about it. hate is deeper level of love in this kinda situation. which you prefer?

IAmWondering wrote:

I have a gf who I've been dating for about 6 weeks. Last night, we were talking and past relationships came up. She said the last serious relationship she had was over a year ago. The guy she was "serious with" wasn't serious with her. He apparently moved out of the area. But she said they are "still great friends" and keep in "regular contact" with each other.

Is this something to be concerned about? I wouldn't want to keep in regular contact with a serious ex unless I still had feelings for her.

I think it's a bad sign. There will always be lingering feelings there. Personally, I don't believe in maintaining friendships with exes. It's typically a lobsided scenario and the one who got dumpmed ends up kicking and screaming when attention from the ex goes away.

When you truly love someone else, you put that person first. I would never keep an ex lingering period but especially not when pursuing another love interest. If she can't do that then 1) she's not ready to move forward in a new relationship as she has yet to move on from her last 2) she still has lingering feelings for her ex 3) I am guessing communication is being initiated by her and not him 4) you don't deserve to be put on the back burner 5) if the ex ever decides he needs validation well, he's a wink away from obtaining naked pictures of your gf

Think about it before you proceed. Many here have been there before. Nice guys who are also pushovers finish dead last.

I'm best friends with both my ex and the ex before her.

My most recent ex regularly sits my apartment when I'm away.

She dated another guy for a year and they were considering getting married before breaking up.

I don't know whether he was jealous or not.

In my opinion, if you're worth being with then you have nothing to worry about. Someone confident in themselves - not excessively arrogant - is much more attractive and desirable than someone who is insecure, untrusting, paranoid or constantly in need of validation.

If you universally can't even be friends with your exes after they meant so much to you (obviously with some exceptions), then that's a sign that you're having childish, superficial relationships that weren't worth anything in the first place.

If you're so insecure that she can't be friends with other males then that's a problem with you, not her.

Jealousy and insecurity are both natural to some degree, but part of being mature, and being an adult, is recognizing when emotions are rational and healthy and when they are destructive.

I'm good friends with most of my serious exes. They were good people, which is why we got serious, and it ended.

My wife has good close ex friends too.

We don't care. There's no jealousy.

Unless she gives you a reason to think that it's not friendship you shouldn't worry.

It's not the good friends part that concerns me. It's the "regular contact" that is bothersome.

Those of you that remain good friends with serious ex's and are now in a relationship, how many of you keep in regular contact with those ex's?

I'm guessing not many if any at all.

In general, I finding staying close to an ex a hit strange. I have no.interest in maintaining contact with an ex. If we run unto each other, of couse we are friendly and might chat a bit, but I would never call up or invite an ex to come hang out. We broke up for good reasons and the only reason to keep somebody around in that situation is if you aren't ready to move in.

What makes it really a bad sign though is that you have been dating this girl for six months and you just found out. She was hiding this from you maybe she hasn't been going behind your bad and sleeping with this guy, but I find it impossible to believe this doesn't come up in a half of a year.

Lastly, the person in this board who keeps using the term "beta" really needs to stop. Also just use one name instead of posting your opinion under four different names to make it seems like a bunch of people share your bizarre feminazi opinions.