Is it okay to date 2nd or 3rd cousins?

I say it's normal. If I was in your position and had the chance, I would do it.

My best friend admitted on having sex with his step mom because she was 30 something while dad was 50. Always wondered how that turned out and if that is considered wrong if they are your step mom/sister.

I used to keep in touch with 3rd cousins. I went to their weddings and their parents funerals. They went to my wedding. About every three years, large family gatherings. We're talking a common great grand parent.

correction: A common great great grandparent.

if you go far enough, we're all related. your 1st cousins all share some of the same DNA as you, but not necessarily your aunt or uncles, so there is no guarantee that your 2nd cousin is related to you in any way. in this case, it's only bad if you guys have family gatherings that extends across distance family tress and your relationship with your extended cousin goes bad

i'd follow this advice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdIT74L8hGI

chris.xc wrote:

I say it's normal. If I was in your position and had the chance, I would do it.

My best friend admitted on having sex with his step mom because she was 30 something while dad was 50. Always wondered how that turned out and if that is considered wrong if they are your step mom/sister.

A stepmom is not a blood relative...so no real stigma other than the typical trifling stuff that comes with it.

DerSteinDerWeisen wrote:

bartholomew_maxwell wrote:

Just wondering if there is an acceptable limit for dating someone in your own family? I think maybe 3rd cousins is okay and I'm sure that a ton of people have probably done so unknowingly.

In traditional family organization, your first cousin is the child of your aunt or nephew while your second cousin is a grand-niece or grand-nephew of your grandparents. And your son/daughter would be a third cousin of your second cousin's son or daughter.

So would it be okay for your son/daughter to date your grand-aunt/grand-uncle's grandchild's son/daughter?

It is not advisable from a scientific, actuarial and genetic standpoint! Have your partner or prospective partners take an ancestry test. Den ar et, der vises Sten!

Why is not advisable from a scientific standpoint?

This would argue it is not a health risk.

There might be other reasons it is tricky though.

bartholomew_maxwell wrote:

chris.xc wrote:

I say it's normal. If I was in your position and had the chance, I would do it.

My best friend admitted on having sex with his step mom because she was 30 something while dad was 50. Always wondered how that turned out and if that is considered wrong if they are your step mom/sister.

A stepmom is not a blood relative...so no real stigma other than the typical trifling stuff that comes with it.

Well I would generally say having a fling with your step mom while she is married to your dad would present some tricky issues.

1st cousins are okay too

When first cousins procreate, the risk of birth defects is only about 3% higher than when unrelated people procreate. With second cousins, there is no risk. For most of human history, people were procreating with people in their extended family.

The reason it's still common in rural areas today (worldwide) isn't that people are unsophisticated; it's that there's a very high likelihood in rural communities that you're related to your neighbors. If you go to a high school and half the girls are 2nd, 3rd, or 4th cousins, it's likely you'll end up dating some of them. You may know about the family connection, but it's unlikely that you'd have any kind of a family relationship with them. Heck, I've never even met a second cousin.

Personally, I think the intolerance towards people marrying extended family is ironic. It's always the supposedly cosmopolitan people mocking the hicks, but there's no scientific basis for condemning it. So basically they're just saying this is a romantic relationship that makes them feel icky, not unlike the reaction a lot of rural people have towards other kinds of sexual relationships. Love is love, right?

800 dude wrote:

The reason it's still common in rural areas today (worldwide) isn't that people are unsophisticated; it's that there's a very high likelihood in rural communities that you're related to your neighbors. If you go to a high school and half the girls are 2nd, 3rd, or 4th cousins, it's likely you'll end up dating some of them.

This is actually true to some extent unfortunately due to how settling and migration worked. During the earliest centuries of this country's history, you'd have a few families branch out and settle and start these little rural communities. In a bigger city, the dating pool is much higher but if only one family decided to migrate and start a village, well, chances are strong that there would have been some incestuous stuff going on.

We're talking the horse and buggy days. You couldn't find someone 10 miles away and go out for a fling. The families were just built from within. Which sucks but people were less knowledgable about birth defects related to incest and such back then. People were not very knowledgeable about much of anything when it came to genetics.

Does anyone who has studied genetics know WHY close-blood relationships increase the risk of deformities? Does it have to do with two recessive traits in both parents being more likely to be expressed due to the genetic closeness? That is my theory. I suspect it's due to the increased likelihood of recessive genes being expressed.

chris.xc wrote:

I say it's normal. If I was in your position and had the chance, I would do it.

My best friend admitted on having sex with his step mom because she was 30 something while dad was 50. Always wondered how that turned out and if that is considered wrong if they are your step mom/sister.

Are you asking if the usual condemnation of adultery is lessened if the cuckold is the intruding male’s father?

So does that mean it’s ok to date your sister?

Bfuyg wrote:

chris.xc wrote:

I say it's normal. If I was in your position and had the chance, I would do it.

My best friend admitted on having sex with his step mom because she was 30 something while dad was 50. Always wondered how that turned out and if that is considered wrong if they are your step mom/sister.

Are you asking if the usual condemnation of adultery is lessened if the cuckold is the intruding male’s father?

Its pretty much just a dirty fetish, but nothing turns me on more than thinking my son banging my wife.

You have sex with your mother, don’t you?

bartholomew_maxwell wrote:

At only 3.125% genetic similarity, there is probably not much disk from a deformity standpoint of dating your second cousin, but you're too close to them from a societal standpoint and it would be awkward at familg gatherings. You'll probably both be pariahs.

Rudy Giuliani married his 2nd cousin, so I guess it's not too awkward for those with no shame.

800 dude wrote:

The reason it's still common in rural areas today (worldwide) isn't that people are unsophisticated; it's that there's a very high likelihood in rural communities that you're related to your neighbors. If you go to a high school and half the girls are 2nd, 3rd, or 4th cousins, it's likely you'll end up dating some of them.

I've heard another reason is loyalty. The thinking is marrying someone whos already family is less of a risk than bringing in an outsider. They have the same loyaties and group/ethnic/racial/religious ties you do.

I dated my cousin and the only problem was society wasn't ready.

bartholomew_maxwell wrote:

At only 3.125% genetic similarity, there is probably not much disk from a deformity standpoint of dating your second cousin, but you're too close to them from a societal standpoint and it would be awkward at familg gatherings. You'll probably both be pariahs.

He's already a letsrun poster.