Falling in love with my training partner? Advice?

Leave your training partner immediately, or risk ruining your marriage. Seriously, this is a big deal. The only way to stop a crush is to cut contact. If you love your fiancee, leave your training partner.

435643535343243234 wrote:

Leave your training partner immediately, or risk ruining your marriage. Seriously, this is a big deal. The only way to stop a crush is to cut contact. If you love your fiancee, leave your training partner.

I disagree, that will just cause further thoughts and an increase in feelings.

Best way to kill it is just to maintain. eventually she will fart on a run with you.

Crush is just that, it's a crush. Does she have any feelings for you? or any interest? if not then wtf would you have a crush on her ?

You are not ready for marriage. You are already being disrespectful to your fiancee by texting so much with this other woman, and she is disrespecting her I assume boyfriend by texting so much with you.

There are only two right choices here. Either end it with your girlfriend and see how your training partner reacts to that, or end it with the training partner and be fully committed to your girlfriend.

If you do the former, the training partner might get weirded out now that you are available, or she might immediately end it with her boyfriend, or the boyfriend might tell her now is the time to end training with you, to which she might agree or she might tell him to f*ck off and be with you.

You should not attempt to sleep with her, and you should not sleep with her if she initiates...unless you are prepared to end it with your girlfriend right then and there.

Just enjoy the infatuation. Don't act on it as it won't ever be what you have now built it up to in your mind.

What state do you two live in? This could help answer.

keep your engagement, and just think about her while in bed with you fiancee. continue your relationship with "training partner". problem -> solution

browhat wrote:

keep your engagement, and just think about her while in bed with you fiancee. continue your relationship with "training partner". problem -> solution

This. I happily remain monogamous by visualizing any other woman I desire while having sex with my babe. Works wonders for me.

If all you do with this training partner is run, of course you are infatuated with her. 100% of your time is spent doing an enjoyable activity that makes you feel good. She probably looks good doing it, too. Have you hung out beyond running? Had mundane conversations over dinner? Helped each other with family issues? Worked on a house project together? Those are the things that make for real relationships.

It is easy to become enamored with the "fun" person; don't get tricked by that.

Middle Ground wrote:

If all you do with this training partner is run, of course you are infatuated with her. 100% of your time is spent doing an enjoyable activity that makes you feel good. She probably looks good doing it, too. Have you hung out beyond running? Had mundane conversations over dinner? Helped each other with family issues? Worked on a house project together? Those are the things that make for real relationships.

It is easy to become enamored with the "fun" person; don't get tricked by that.

good one

seems right now that 'falling in love' means 'I should drop everything I have and that I do in order to follow this love.'

it shouldn't mean that. Marriage is obvi about more than just infatuation type love. You have to be able to work with that person on multiple fronts. it's not just running in the park and having a laugh.

Hey OP, where did you go? No responses since you're original post. How are things going?

Please OP I pray you did not rashly decide to leave your fiancé if you do truly love her.

Married handsome guy here. Women flirt with me sometimes. I flirt back...sometimes. Mostly, I store flirtations in my mind and use them when I can’t finish with my pregnant wife. Marriage and relationships aren’t black and white. These flirtations or crushes are a funny flow of energy floating in this universe. Relax.

You know what you want.

This is the worst advice in the thread. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" only applies for a month of two. If OP just stopped talking to her the whole situation would seem like a joke four months from now.

Look OP, even in a committed relationship you are going to notice other women, be attracted to some and occasionally become mildly infatuated but if you are committed you have to pull back before it becomes more than that. On the other hand, you are too young to settle. If this attraction is starting to look like love and as a consequence your fiance isn't the one woman in the world you want to be married to, then maybe you should rethink your engagement for your sake and your fiance's.

All this stuff about married guys flirting is true and having work crushes is true but I can assure you that they aren't sending these crushes multiple daily texts. As a married man, I really find the OPs texting frequency to be the most alarming.

Multiple daily texts with your training partner beyond training and general running topics and straying into banter about each others daily lives, and having inside jokes is not healthy for your relationship with your fiancee. Using your training partner for social interaction where you might find your fiancee to be inadequate is a slippery slope.

A previous poster mentioned that this shouldn't be viewed as an either/or situation where you have to choose between your fiancee and training partner. There numerous are scenarios where you could maintain a healthy balance in your relationship with both women provided you make some changes to your behaviour/outlook. Similarly, you may find that both women are both inadequate on their own and that you should simply move on from both of them.

It sure would stink if this thread stuck around long enough for training partner to see it.

Hopefully the many replies have helped. Crushes can come and go. Commitment is forever. Stop texting.

First, check out carefully weather fiancee's mother or running partner's mother is prettier. Often mothers and daughters tend to align over the years.

Second, if you have a doubt on your fiancee way do you bother mantaining a relationship?

Third, if you love your fiancee never place yourself into problems: every man is very vulnerable about sex issues, just don't go out with pretty.

This is why engagements exist - it's a trial for marriage. If you're falling in love with another woman while you're engaged, it's only gonna get a thousand times worse over a lifetime of marriage. I know it's tremendously difficult to do, but you have to follow your heart. You have to find the woman who is gonna make every other woman in the universe pale in comparison. The woman you're engaged to is clearly not the one. Break off your engagement and tell your crush how you feel. You only live once.

I've always wondered if people are different with respect to feelings of "love". My response is based on my own life experience but I know I've had friends who are all about love at first site and being head-over-heels for their partners years down the line.

I have been infatuated with a few women in my life. Every single time that infatuation has faded (including my infatuation with my wife). I don't see this is a bad thing. My wife is my closest friend, we share our life together, we enjoy spending time together, and we still do fun things together. I find her attractive and enjoy the intimacy we have together (albeit less frequent than the infatuation stage - but that's okay with me).

I still have frequent little thoughts about women I meet in day-to-day life, but I certainly don't develop the type of relationship that you seem to have to developed with your training partner with any of them. It would be incredibly disrespectful to my wife to be texting for hours with another woman. I have incredibly close relationships with my male friends and my wife, but do not have these kind of relationships with my other female friends.

I suspect you are infatuated with this girl. If you left your fiancee and shacked up with this girl, it might work and it might not work. I don't believe that there is just "one person" out there for each of us. We are probably compatible with a great number of partners providing we meet them at the right stage in life. If you feel you are at the right stage for commitment in your life and feel that your fiancee is a good match for you, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to switch horses mid race. That's a lot of drama in your life for nothing. However, the fact that you are behaving this way in your relationship makes me question whether you are really at that right stage for commitment.

Take a good long look at your life and ask yourself where you want to be in it right now. However, for your fiancees sake, don't continue things as they are and don't cheat.

Get the strange. You will feel so alive!!!