Only ugly ones
Only ugly ones
You guys are all morons. Really, the whole lot of you people. Jeeze
Best friends? Unlikely
Good friends? Yes, most definitely
seems to me that sure men and women can be friends. Because you can be attracted to friends without acting on it. And unless the two people are completely unattractive, one or both will be attracted to the other romantically or sexually.
But that doesn't mean the end of the friendship. It can add a little spark/frisson/fun to the friendship. Men and women are born to be attracted to each other...this is a feature, not a bug. We just have to control our behavior, that's all.
It's fun being attracted to someone or knowing they are attracted to you.
it can be *not fun* if it crosses a line into love though. That can mess you or the other person up.
No lie, I have had some great friendships with attractive female friends. But I also wanted to sleep with all of them, and did sleep with a few. I don’t know, I can’t be close with an attractive female without wanting more.
Pheromones bro.
LOL at the multiple guys on here claiming to be "just friends" with ladies who are making marriage proposals to them. If they are asking you to marry them, then they aren't "just friends." Maybe, just maybe, you consider them just a friend, but the feeling clearly isn't mutual.
When Harry Met Sally.
The jealousy thing seems pretty accurate. Friendship between men and women is always way easier than a relationship. You always interact on agreed terms and never have to deal with all the compromises, negotiations and irritations that come with being with someone all the time. If your friend doesn't like a movie or TV show you like, it doesn't matter. But if your spouse or significant other doesn't, you now have to work out a time when you get to watch your show or compromise and watch a show that you don't want to watch, etc. So, friend time is always free and easy and can make your mate feel like you are getting something better during friend time. And of course that leads to the fear that the friendship will become something more.
I'm kind of cute wrote:
> God forbid you just be nice and smile.
> I try not to most places as men tend to think it means I'm somehow interested.
Regis Turd wrote:
> You try not to "what" most places? Go?
> Are you saying just try to avoid being in places where men are?
She meant "I try not to *smile* most places..."
That is the reality of dealing with smiles and the opposite sex.
I would say really it depends. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to my female friends in some way. There is always that "what if" in my head as far as a potential relationship. But as long as it doesn't turn into infatuation, I don't see any issue, for me personally, its usually a particular aspect besides physical attractiveness that gets my heart going, but rationally there are other reasons why I wouldn't want to date them . I also believe its important to be upfront and honest about your feelings. At worst, the friendship ends, at best, the other person can see you have these feelings but won't reciprocate, and there is an understanding that you can manage your feelings (no flirting, don't be roommates, date other people).
Definitely don't lie about your intentions, women see through that. Also how you act around her says much more than actually telling her I've found.
Women below 7 on a 10 point scale we can be friends with.
It's a dishonest relationship as it's likely that one of the two secretly wants to be In the other person's shorts. A guy can get all the social interaction he needs from his male friends and if he wants to share his feelings, his girlfriend/wife or a psychologist will suffice.
rojo wrote:
And the study:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407597142003
Hate to tell you this, Rojo, but in Family and Relationship Sciences, studies over ten years old are given no validity.
But we're just friends wrote:
It's a dishonest relationship as it's likely that one of the two secretly wants to be In the other person's shorts. A guy can get all the social interaction he needs from his male friends and if he wants to share his feelings, his girlfriend/wife or a psychologist will suffice.
Yes, I agree. Every girl I've been "just friends" with, I've eventually slept with. The more I get to know a girl and feel comfortable, the more the topic of sex comes up, since it's on every guy's mind 24/7. Guys want to sleep with anyone pretty much, and if they're around someone and comfortable with them.. then why not?
And if you spend time together.. one night you go to dinner as friends, have too much to drink and she crashes on the couch. A month later you do the same, she joins in bed, but I keep my distance "because I'm a gentleman". And the next time, all bets are off and you're doing it.
So no, I don't believe they can be just friends. Hot, ugly, whatever.. a guy just wants to do it as much as possible and eventually it'll happen, given the opportunity.
Talk me into it... wrote:
doot doot wrote:
http://i.imgs.fyi/img/6hp2.jpg^ rojo
Totally, lol.
As to the central question, yes straight men and women can be friends. Both need to be mature and able to have boundaries.
One of my best friends of 34 years is female, and a ten, yes a 10. (No, I'm not posting her pictures.) It's fairly common for people in college, male and female people, to become friends and in a "brother sister" kind of dynamic. Sometimes it begins because both have partners at the time, and then, when one or both are single it would just be too weird to cross any lines. Why risk ruining the friendship.
In this case, I met my friend when she was 19. She was very needy. And I didn't want a needy girlfriend, hot as she was. And still is, btw. She asked me to marry her once, lol, and I declined, didn't want to deal with high maintenance. Been there, done that, already by then. And it's worked out well. All these years later, she calls be "big bro," and I call her "lil sis," we text about once a day, little things, funny things, music recommendations, comics, whatever. We have a long catch up phone call every so often. It's an awesome friendship. We're family.
The fact you refer to her as a 10 and hot means this is dangerous.
rojo wrote:
BergLaufer wrote:
Reminds me of a awesome song, 'you say he's just a friend'.
Great post. I just spent half an hour googling about Biz Markie. He's actually still going quite strong. Doing shows now with Vanilla Ice, MC Hamme, Coolio, Tone Loc, etc.
https://www.songkick.com/artists/497389-biz-markie
You have waaaay to much time on your hands!
Just friends, not lovers wrote:
But we're just friends wrote:
It's a dishonest relationship as it's likely that one of the two secretly wants to be In the other person's shorts. A guy can get all the social interaction he needs from his male friends and if he wants to share his feelings, his girlfriend/wife or a psychologist will suffice.
Yes, I agree. Every girl I've been "just friends" with, I've eventually slept with. The more I get to know a girl and feel comfortable, the more the topic of sex comes up, since it's on every guy's mind 24/7. Guys want to sleep with anyone pretty much, and if they're around someone and comfortable with them.. then why not?
And if you spend time together.. one night you go to dinner as friends, have too much to drink and she crashes on the couch. A month later you do the same, she joins in bed, but I keep my distance "because I'm a gentleman". And the next time, all bets are off and you're doing it.
So no, I don't believe they can be just friends. Hot, ugly, whatever.. a guy just wants to do it as much as possible and eventually it'll happen, given the opportunity.
except for you know, civilization and marriage vows, you know.
men can *want* to have sex but choose *not to have sex*. it's possible. Look into it.
statfool wrote:
I'm kind of cute wrote:
> God forbid you just be nice and smile.
> I try not to most places as men tend to think it means I'm somehow interested.
Regis Turd wrote:
> You try not to "what" most places? Go?
> Are you saying just try to avoid being in places where men are?
She meant "I try not to *smile* most places..."
That is the reality of dealing with smiles and the opposite sex.
And then you are told to "smile more"...
I'm kind of cute wrote:
From my experience, men are too immature and weak to be able to stay as friends. Women usually not a problem. Sorry but most men totally misread women and think there is a mutual attraction. God forbid you just be nice and smile. I try not to most places as men tend to think it means I'm somehow interested.
I doubt you're as cute as you think. Men react that way to any woman at all smiling at them. The most tiresome women are those who think being good looking is some kind of meritorious accomplishment.
