I don’t know why Meza apparently took his own life, and without further evidence, neither does anyone else.
There are many reasons why someone could choose to do so, not all of which are cowardly—in fact, many are downright heroic. There are times in everyone’s life when they decide things for others, for their own possibly good reasons. Here, Meza decided for his family and friends that they would go forward without him.
Unless he communicated it to someone, we do not know his reasoning, but I am sure that it was an agonizing decision for him to have made. It was his life, and ultimately his call.
I have no idea if he cheated or not. I read some of the LR thread and none of MI. I wish he had come in and answered the charges made against him, like Ed Whitlock did, but Meza decided not to.
I’m not saying that his suicide was heroic, but I am saying that it was not necessarily a narcissistic and selfish act, as some here have suggested. He had his reasons, and they may have been good ones, but we will probably never know. By all accounts he loved his family, and even in death he might well have been trying to do what he felt was best for them, in his own way. That kind of thing I can understand, and even respect.
You might disagree, even his own family might disagree, but I can see it. Only an abstract and speculative future will decide. None of us knows, and none of us can ever know, if it was ultimately a good course of action for all involved. It was Meza’s decision to make, and he made it. Think it’s an easy decision? I doubt it.
I am not advocating suicide, but neither do I think that it is always cowardly, or a bad decision. I know that I would readily give my life to save that of my family or best friends. Many choose suicide at the end of life or during illness. Many have done it in the course of duty to comrades and country. All have their reasons.
Meza might fairly be judged for his running actions, but not for his suicide. His decision may very well have been very courageous, and may very well have been intended to have been in the service of others.
Not knowing one way or the other, what I can say is that I wish that he had responded while he was alive, and that I wish that he was still alive.
I can also say that nobody here, unless they were very close to him (and maybe not even then), knows what he was thinking, and that nobody can rightly sit in judgment of his apparent suicide.
RIP Meza.