Why are most people so lame after 25?

What's this "other side of life"? That you purpose to be so much better and "not" lame? You never went into that.

Unless you have a job as an artist, musician, pro athlete, or you're a trust fund baby, you have to work, and work requires you to be at or available at a certain time of day for a certain amount of time.

I guess you could become a hippy and travel around in a van selling enough weed place to place to get by, maybe panhandle a bit, hitchhike when you can't afford gas. But that doesn't sound like some great mind expanding fantastic life experience, it sounds like homelessness.

Go read "Into the Wild" and follow the meanderings of that idiot Christopher McCandless aka Alexander Supertramp. See how all that worked out.

What have you learnt about the world and what is on the other side of life ?

OP sounds privileged (even though I hate that word) as a MF to be whining about what they're whining about.

I guess I meant to say that after 25 it seems like people lose that excitement towards life and people get kind of tight.

They stop exploring all the avenues out there and just lock down and grind their job out and collect 200 for passing GO.

Like you're telling me the person you're supposed to become is somebody who sits in the same cubicle for a high percentage of their life, and then "enjoys" themselves with beer and food and TV?

Just felt like before it was "the world is your oyster"...

and now it's like "there's no oyster you idiot. shut up and come into your cube and do your mundane work."

Maybe the one guy was right and I got stuck in a rut and am losing my zest for life. And now I'm just projecting that onto other people, when in reality it's me. I'm 27.

Back in the early 80s I was in my mid 30s and running all year round. I ran road races in the fall, indoor track races in the winter, a few road races in the spring, and track meets in late spring through July. A week off, then a base building month before the fall season. One of my close friends said to me words of this effect: You are very lucky. After the last school bell rings you go down to the coach's room and change into your running clothes and then run with your team. For me, half of the year I get home from work in the dark after a long commute. I know that I should exercise, but I'm hungry and often overeat. I then sit down and watch T.V. until it's time to go to bed.

I have never forgotten those words. I don't run with my team anymore as I would slow them down. But I still spend a couple of hours each day in exercise. Although I weigh about 20 lbs heavier than in those days I eat much less and what I do eat is healthily. Most doctors are astonished of my physical shape compared to my peers.

Can somebody please send over some type of GIF that illustrates a slow, exaggerated clap for this king. Thank you.

Based on the OP's name, I think he plays the harmonica as he pinches a loaf so not sure he's a good judge.

They were lame before age 26 as well. You just didn't notice because the college / post college drinking thing absorbs almost everyone for a few years and disguises boring people. After that wears off, peoples' true colors show.

joedirt wrote:

You sound like someone who is single and can't find a date. Expecting people to constantly live like they are in college is unrealistic when people have real responsibilities to procreate and nurture the next generation. Trying to have fun and then maybe pop out a kid when you are 40 carries great risks and is not in synch with your evolution (we evolved to have kids much younger). If you plan on staying single and want some excitement in your life, go join the coast guard or peace corps. It's not very difficult to take care of one person. The reality of why people get lame after college is they are getting ready for the stage in their life where they will no longer just be responsible for themselves.

Bingo. I personally find my job and spending time with my wife to be quite enjoyable. Lame is quite subjective.

I experienced something similar (I'm ~10 years older than you). It started a bit later than 25 though. Basically my friends got boring when they started getting in serious relationships and married. It doesn't have to be that way though. Becoming lame is an individual decision. The key to avoid that trap is to have many interests outside of work. Be curious. Be involved with at least 1 or 2 groups that meet regularly. Have a side gig. Hang out with people who are younger than you (I do this as a general rule ... if you hang out with people your age and older, you stagnate). Most importantly, find a partner who shares your curiosity.

I've taken this approach and I've found that while most of my current friends are ~5-8 years younger than me, they share my ideals and stay active and involved. I learn a lot from them. My friends who disappeared 10 years ago are still spending their time watching Netflix and chilling. I learn nothing from them. That is their choice. The impact is clear. I look, act, think, and am on top of trends like someone in his 20s. My older friends who became lame look, act, think, and are on top of trends like someone in his/her 40s.

What you will learn is that nothing is more lame than someone well over 25 living their life like they are 25.

I know it's hard to comprehend when you're in your early 20's, but the best example I can give for you is The Oldest Guy at the Frat Party Guy.... A frat kegger when you're 21 can be a darned fun time, attending a frat kegger when you're 31 makes you a creep.

I don’t think the OP is talking about keggers and frat parties. It does seem that a fair number of people become more placid as they move out of their 20s and into adult life. The focus shifts to careers and raising families which often times coincides with stopping or greatly reducing exploration of life outside of comfort zones. It’s the people that seem to revolve around fantasy leagues and games on tv, going from home to work to bed and repeating every day. It’s the waining of zest.

It has puzzled me as well but it’s simply a shift in priorities and desires. To say they are lame is probably not fair, it’s just what they now find fulfilling doesn’t align with what the OP finds fulfilling. Often times to raise and provide for your family means settling into that 9-5 and forgoing most adventure and exploration that would or could jeopardize the ability to provide for the family at home. We exist in a time where we are told it’s one or the other. As a consequence perhaps we try and find value or a way to scratch an itch via some of those lame things such as meeting the guys at the bar in our Brady jerseys to yell at the tv. Not my cup of tea but who am I to judge?

To each their own. To the OP I’d say try not to get hung up on what the others are doing and how you might perceive it. They probably perceive you (us) in a similar way.

Here's the thing: they think you are lame too. They've done everything you think is so cool, so new, so "the other side of life". They got tired of it, and settled into an existence they find more satisfying and enjoyable - for the long run.

They find the "mundane sht" they do 8 or more hours a day, to be meaningful and gratifying (well, not all of them do, but many are fortunate to have gratifying jobs). Not all sit around on the couch watching TV after work, but when they do it's because they need some time to decompress.

Let's turn the question back to you: how do you spend your day which is not so lame. After all, here you are posting on Letsruns. That, in itself, is pretty darn lame. Why aren't you out living?

Kiyosaki wrote:

Hang out with people who are younger than you (I do this as a general rule ... if you hang out with people your age and older, you stagnate).

So your younger friends are stagnating because they are hanging out with you? They should dump you and start looking for younger friends. ;)

Yeah but....

The only downside to "living every day like you might get hit by a bus" is that if that bus doesn't come. You find yourself standing around at 40 with nothing, no decent job, family, house, savings, etc.. Sure you can start to live like a functioning adult at 40, but man, that's a rough way to do it.

One of the great benefits of working hard and earning decent money is that you can then live (a bit) like the OP is wanting. It gives you freedom. It's like some modern indentured servitude, you have to work slave like to earn your freedom (unless you were lucky enough to be born with loads of ca$h from mom & dad.)

So you think you know people's history by hearing about their weekends, vacations, etc,?

If you spotted me out drinking an $8 fermented bread, discussing Stranger Things or the latest Netflix rage, I guess you'd consider me lame too.

I've done a sh*t-ton of non-lame things in my life, and I'm lucky to be alive. Ever been shot at by a soldier in the enemies' rag-tag uniform? Ever risked you life bailing out a stranded medic in the desert of some war torn country? Ever sky-dived?...(not that tandem sissy sh*t you punks do and have it filmed).

You get the picture - the people you think are lame, might actually be settling down from a life of totally "non-lame".

I agree alot wrote:

I agree with GoldenMiles. By so much it kind of startled me. Especially about the religion statement.

I truly wish I could have any religious feelings or beliefs. I would feel able to get behind a more meaningful existence perhaps, but it isn’t me. I’d be faking it.

The minutia of life is sapping most days but I have a few hobbies, a great family and relationships. For that I’m grateful and happy.

Glad I’m not alone in feeling this way. Perhaps it has to do with upbringing? I know, for me, I barely went to church at all growing up. It never occurred to me to believe in God really, and at this age, it’s not exactly easy to start.

pinch harmonic wrote:

They stop exploring all the avenues out there and just lock down and grind their job out and collect 200 for passing GO.

After 25 I was done exploring in the way you're describing. At 47 now, my "exploring" is done through my children and my family. I'm exploring the life of being the father of teenagers, exploring a deeper (changing) relationships with my extended family, and exploring simple pleasures with those people in my life with whom I know I don't have many more years.

You simply need to redefine exploring. I've been with other women - I choose my wife. I've been to other countries - I choose this one. I've been to other cities & states - I choose mine. I've been alone - I choose family. I've been a nomadic, wandering hipster tasting IPAs for the first time and discovering the joys of hostels and alternate belief systems - I choose a simple import on my couch with my wife and our church on Sundays. While I'm done with those "explorations" and settled on my choices, I do continue to explore people, ideas, thoughts, beliefs, entertainment, and such; I just don't need to be in Mongolian hut burning yak dung for warmth to do so.

And guess what? I'm happier.

I think you’re taking it a bit too far to the extreme. Or maybe I am not taking it far enough? There’s a happy balance somewhere in between living out of a van and begging for handouts just so you can get to the next adventure and slaving away in servitude with the only daily glimmer of hope being the two beers you’re allowed to suck down in your Steeler’s jersey on Thursday evenings while screaming at the guy you just activated to catch a stupid ball.

If someone is 30 and halfway financially responsible it’s completely possible to still seek out adventure and thrills without completely sacrificing the ability to not be fully screwed later in life. Especially if one has no desire to begin a family any time soon.