How many of you grew up wealthy? Most noticeable advantage you received?

FightFor15 wrote:

Most noticeable advantage: growing up white. Even in college, my non white friends would get stopped on campus and have their school IDs checked regularly. Perception is everything when you can do no wrong, can say whatever you want, and don't have to prove yourself to anyone because it's assumed you know what you're talking about.

Oh man this is totally true. I'm mixed race but white passing and hung out with people of both races. It wasn't lost on me how I was able to move up social and networking circles that weren't open to my non-white friends. Today, I am far more successful than them and at times felt guilty about it. However, I always told myself 'think of this advantage as if your parents were rich and you were benefiting that way.' That'd be the same thing.

ya..... wrote:

Being born white gave me far more privileges than having money. Very few places in society take your wealth into consideration (having parents be donors to a school is one of those areas), but showing up white to every job interview, rental interview, car dealership, and bank has given me far more return than money sitting in a bank.

BS. A wealthy person (black, hispanic, etc) has far more advantages over a poor white. You think showing up to a car dealership or bank with nothing in your pockets is an advantage? You think the education, positive social exposure, and connections that wealth provides are trumped by someone who has no experience, education, and connections just because that person is white?? Money talks, son. The best color to be is Green.

I grew up in what probably was upper middle class and I would consider it privileged compared to the situation that I've observed for much of this country. But my parents are not so great at communicating about some important marriage topics, one of them being money and finances. So while there was above average income, it felt more middle class because the money management was so bad.

There were advantages that certainly gave us a leg up. The basics were always covered and enough money or credit was available to give us kids the opportunity to pursue our interests. We lived in a safe city with good schools. I could save monetary gifts rather than have to spend them. My dad bought used company cars and made us pay him back in installments. We didn't take fancy vacations (with the exception of Disney World), but, materially, we were fine.

A huge help was that my parents were able to pay for the tuition for in-state public universities. I was able to graduate with zero debt and a positive net worth. When the post-grad job situation didn't work out as hoped, I was able to live with them for six months until things improved for me. When I moved away for my first job, my mom gave me a wad of cash to help pay for travel/moving, and I vowed to never ask them for money again. Of course, they still force gifts on me every now and then.

So yea, I didn't grow up wealthy, but opportunities were made available. I was financially supported and never had to seriously financially struggle. It helped. A lot.

Not wealthy, but maybe upper middle class, albeit in a 3rd world country (Brazil).

The biggest advantage I had wasn't anything the money bought me, but having two parents with graduate degrees that really prioritized education, which is not as prevalent in less affluent households.

I always studied at the best private school in my city (which was not very expensive at around 100-150 dollars a month), was taught other languages and to play musical instruments. My parents also tried to stimulate me a lot at home as a kid, and my mom taught me to read when I was 2 years old, turning 3, which allowed me to skip 1 grade and graduate HS at 16.

Today I speak 4 languages, study in a really good university in Paris (after dropping out of the #1 ranked in Brazil) and am working in my own startup, and I do believe I owe this in great part to how much my parents valued education.

Also, both Universities I went to were free (the best universities in brazil are generally the public ones), and pretty much anyone that has an ok income sends kids to private school in Brazil because 99% of the public HS's are beyond terrible. Those tough/bad high schools you see in american ghetto movies are a huge luxury compared to brazilian public schools.

I had it both ways. My parents were not poor but there were 3 kids, a mom that stayed home to care for us, and a dad that was a civil service worker. He earned enough for us to do OK, but we had beans a lot for dinner, never ate out, had older cars, and rented a house. Then when I was about 15 my grandmother died. She left my dad (an only child) a lot of acreage up in Wyoming. About a year later the government contacted my dad regarding the mineral rights of the land. Next thing you know my folks start getting royalty checks every month. I didn't know how much but we were able to buy a house, 2 newer cars, eat at restaurants, and go on vacations. My parents also paid for all our college educations. I just remember a lot less stress in our house once there was more money. Both my parents passed away recently. Both were in assisted living which is expensive, but there was money to pay for it, and each of the 3 siblings inherited about $300k once the estate was settled.

The difference for me was the lack of stress and general overall sense of security. Money gave us comfort and options that we didn't have when we were not well-off.

Advantages of the financially wealthy are often offset by types of disadvantages and disasters. Examples: Kennedys and Trumps

What are you trying to say? That life is easier when you come from a stable and supportive middle/upper middle class family vs. growing up in the projects with a crack head mother and unknown father? No kidding? Who would have thought that? :) Captain Obvious!! :)

midlclasswithvalues wrote:

Advantages of the financially wealthy are often offset by types of disadvantages and disasters. Examples: Kennedys and Trumps

and Clintons to that list

Fantastic thread!

john utah wrote:

midlclasswithvalues wrote:

Advantages of the financially wealthy are often offset by types of disadvantages and disasters. Examples: Kennedys and Trumps

and Clintons to that list

Not Bill. Please read your history

crafty and nefarious wrote:

I probably could have gotten into Princeton like my grandfather and father with okay grades 3.6 but not such great test scores (ca. 1100s), but I didn't apply. But I did go to a top 20 school and my dad paid for my education.

No chance in hell that would get you into Princeton unless it was 1950 or you were a 7 figure donor.

Interesting what everyone (myself included) thinks of as wealthy or not wealthy. I considered my upbringing firmly middle class - whereas someone from maybe an impoverished country would think of it as fabulously wealthy. Luck of the draw separates one from the other. Very few people ever want to acknowledge being lucky but it is true for just about everyone who visits this site that you were born into circumstances likely much better then a majority of our denizens. And if you weren't you were one of the lucky ones that got out.

On topic - I think the most notable difference was just the expectations all around. My parents expected me to go to college and just about all my friends had similar expectations. In fact I would say that was nearly all of the high school I went too. This meant trying to reach a reasonable level of achievement was never really a conscious thought - it was more assumed. Its a subtle but significant difference and hard to gauge how much easier this made things but I can see in different circumstances how taking the path of least resistance could lead to vastly different outcomes.

ya..... wrote:

Being born white gave me far more privileges than having money. Very few places in society take your wealth into consideration (having parents be donors to a school is one of those areas), but showing up white to every job interview, rental interview, car dealership, and bank has given me far more return than money sitting in a bank.

I went to high school with a close friend who was black. His father a Doctor, his Mother, a lawyer. They were able to attend all the sports fundraisers, pta meetings, and events.

I am white, my father a custodian and part time limo driver, my mother a secretary.

My friend while no more athletically inclined always managed to be a "starter" on the teams since his dad was able to be free to coach and hob nob. He had his first car bought for him, he had the nicest parties growing up. He went on to a 4 year school paid by his parents then an advanced degree, and now works for a large financial firm.

I did community college, got a blue collar job and am pursuing my bachelors.

Money was the advantage. Not race.

I dont know wrote:

Money was the advantage. Not race.

I don't think anyone here is saying race is the only advantage. It is AN advantage, however. So is money.

The biggest advantage is that you learn how to handle money and to thrive in a particular social strata.

My father taught me about stocks and how to save and invest. My country club childhood taught me how to act among the wealthy.

Contrast that with my wife's upbringing. She was a National Merit Scholar and the first in her family to go to college. I'll never forget the kind of advice I got from her family.

After college we were thinking of settling in her home town and I got an interview for one of the top jobs in a local factory. Her family told me to make sure I filled out the employment application at the factory instead of taking it home. When I asked why, they said, "That's so they know you can read and write. Some people take it home and get someone else to fill it out."

A family prepares you to live the kind of life that they themselves lead.

Yes, and not sure why you are so condescending. What's your story?

Has anyone accused anyone else of being a Nazi on this thread yet? If not, let me get that taken care of.

Nazi!

BS wrote:

Interesting what everyone (myself included) thinks of as wealthy or not wealthy. I considered my upbringing firmly middle class - whereas someone from maybe an impoverished country would think of it as fabulously wealthy. Luck of the draw separates one from the other. Very few people ever want to acknowledge being lucky but it is true for just about everyone who visits this site that you were born into circumstances likely much better then a majority of our denizens. And if you weren't you were one of the lucky ones that got out.

Very true. Relative to many parts of the world, my upbringing was very lush and wealthy.

However, comparison to your peers is a factor in how you perceive your family's wealth. I grew up in a town in which we were far from the wealthiest people there, and I recall friends' families take lavish ski vacations, living in bigger houses, driving better cars or new cars for the kids, paying for children to attend the private university of their choice, getting a job through their parents, and screwing up big time in life but having their families bail them out. It felt like others had more, so it left us feeling a little poorer.