Engagement ring help!

By LR standards my ring budget will be that of a poverty stricken homeless man. But I think 2,000 will be my budget.

advice321 wrote:

oh boyyy wrote:

Red flag

how is having someone else know your style a red flag? If you're girlfriend isn't into flashy jewelry, her sister/friend would know that. As men, we are generally too oblivious to notice things like this.

It is indicative of a general type of person who focuses more on the act and not the significance of that act.

John Clendon wrote:But my preference is classic and timeless, so I went with the diamond. Whether it is 1850, 1950, or 2017, a diamond is still as expensive and popular as ever.

That couldn't be further from the truth sucka!

My wife's ring was bought and paid for by her first fiancé. It's a ruby from an estate sale that she picked out. The first dude bolted and I swooped in. She kept the ring and we used it for our marriage instead. 10 years later and she still loves it and i never wasted a penny on an incredibly common and valueless stone that marketers have scammed the world on.

You said surprise? Right?

Well ask if she could donate some of her parents/grandparents or closer relatives who've died and get a diamond ring made that way.

Since, you have class and posted to a running forum, if the marriage don't work out. She can always keep the ring thus having two meanings.

..."donate some of her parents/grandparents or closer relatives.." ashes.

Yes you can make a diamond from the ashes from a dead person, don't take a whole to to make a diamond.

Check out the site for the Long Island ny store called good old gold. Yes the name is cheesy but the store and website are very very good. I ended buying a ring there twelve years ago and the owner is honest and knows what he is doing. I found him to be much better and more knowledgeable than the NYC diamond district people on forty seventh street.

The diamond education that you can easily learn from the materials on the store's website is very comprehensive, interesting, and easy to follow.

Best of luck during this exciting time for you.

Find a jeweler that sells 'prototype' rings. They are essentially fake rings, with shiny plastic in place of real diamonds. I bought one for $40. They look like the real thing. After surprising her with it, you can take her to the jeweler and purchase the real thing.

In my case, I also wanted to surprise her also with the proposal. We went hiking one day and got to the top of a small mountain. I then handed my camera to another hiker and told him to start recording. Got the whole thing on video. She loved it.

John Clendon wrote:

Only my own opinion to the post before.

As for lab created diamonds, no one will know the difference except a gemologist that has the ring under a magnifying glass.

While true, most women will be offended if it's not a true diamond. And they'll be embarrassed to admit it to their friends and family.

Trust me!

oh boyyy wrote:

advice321 wrote:

how is having someone else know your style a red flag? If you're girlfriend isn't into flashy jewelry, her sister/friend would know that. As men, we are generally too oblivious to notice things like this.

It is indicative of a general type of person who focuses more on the act and not the significance of that act.

You are misunderstanding what I'm saying. Women talk about style, there are many different styles of rings, they would know better than you which one they'd like, its as simple as that. You're right though, the ring is meaningless really, but if you are going to spend all that money, you want to get her something that she actually likes.

Now, if you are thinking they are talking about price, then that's a different story. I would hope that you have that figured out well ahead of proposing though.

Mr. Obvious wrote:

John Clendon wrote:

Different types of precious stones may work. But my preference is classic and timeless, so I went with the diamond. Whether it is 1850, 1950, or 2017, a diamond is still as expensive and popular as ever.

Your preference for diamonds is neither classic nor timeless.

The cultural practice of diamonds as engagement gifts is tied very specifically to a particular time and place and a sustained advertising campaign to create a market:

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/

This ^

I'm beginning to think the Mr. Obvious is the best poster on LRC.

Be careful with fakes wrote:

John Clendon wrote:

Only my own opinion to the post before.

As for lab created diamonds, no one will know the difference except a gemologist that has the ring under a magnifying glass.

While true, most women will be offended if it's not a true diamond. And they'll be embarrassed to admit it to their friends and family.

Trust me!

Most women aren't worth the time of day. There is only one woman who matters here. And if the woman that you are interested in is like most women then you will regret marrying her for the rest of your life.

Trust me!

What I did was take my SO ring shopping, told her the budget (which was $1,000 less than my internal budget), and told the jeweler to show her a few rings at the "fake" budget and a few at the "real" budget (they were bigger, more clear, etc).

She really fell in love with one of the rings and was visibly a bit sad about the budget, and I said we would go look somewhere else the next weekend.

I bought the ring, already had made arrangements during the week to surprise her, and she was thrilled to have the better ring and loved it even more because she knew I went above and beyond.

You could look at it as "lying" but really it was just an elaborate part of the surprise. We still talk about the ring 5 years later.

Engagement Ring Help wrote:

By LR standards my ring budget will be that of a poverty stricken homeless man. But I think 2,000 will be my budget.

On that budget, you can get a pretty good ring if you shop correctly. Pawn shops are 100% the way to go to get the most bang for your buck, just make sure the diamond is certified and has documents - you can then take the stone to a jeweler and have it reset into a setting that she likes.

In regards to best value on the 4c's -

Cut is the MOST important, this determines how well light reflects and how much the ring sparkles/shines. Excellent or Very Good cut rating is what to shoot for, the cut is the most impactful element to how a diamond will look.

Color would be 2nd most important, H, I, J are the best value in color grades. J can be the absolute best value if you find a J that has great cut and clarity, J can also begin to show a bit of "yellow" reflection but 99% of people could/would never notice this, great value for your budget.

third is Clarity, SI1 is the best value for clarity, it will have small inclusions that can only be seen under a microscope, VS2 is a bit better but also pricier, anything better than VS2 is a waste for your budget.

and then Carats/size. buy the best of the other three you can afford at the largest size that fits that equation - if the top three categories are maximized the diamond will appear larger than diamonds of the same size with lower grades in cut and clarity due to difference in light reflection/shine. Even a small diamond can catch and throw light if it has great scores in cut and clarity.

The last thing to look at is Polish - it is not one of the 4 C's but is a scored element to a diamond, look for an excellent or very good polish score as this will also impact the appearance of the stone/ring.

Do something different and get her a leather collar with medal tips, make sure it has a loop so you can put a leash on it.

Engagement Ring Help wrote:

By LR standards my ring budget will be that of a poverty stricken homeless man. But I think 2,000 will be my budget.

There isn't anything wrong with that budget. My buddy bought his now wife's engagement ring for under $1000. She knows what it is worth and they couldn't be happier together. Screw spending $10k on that when you don't have it. Just what you need to do is finance something else in your life.

Really it down to who the girl is you are proposing to. Is she into diamonds, or is she more open to other stones? Does she like simple and elegant, or does she want something more trendy like the halo style? Would she be the type who wants it a complete surprise, or would rather you went the route of picking some ideas together.

I sized and looked at rings twice with my fiance. Partially because she liked to look at them and try them on for the hell of it, and partially because she didn't want me to f**k up and buy some gaudy ring. And at the point of trying them on, we both knew that engagement would happen someday. She only didn't know when or how it would go down.

Engagement Ring Help wrote:

By LR standards my ring budget will be that of a poverty stricken homeless man. But I think 2,000 will be my budget.

No man.... you aren't talking about a $2k budget here. You marry her and you are talking hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions you will be spending on this broad and in return she will only make your life hell.

Save your money and NEVER get married.

I bought wife a manufactured diamond. I forget the size but close to 2ct. NOT .2ct. Cost was about 25% what an equivalent 'real' diamond.

Wife absolutely LOVES it. No issues. I was concerned that she would be upset but made the plunge anyway because of the size, setting, and shine.

She gets compliments ALL THE TIME.

Make it a surprise. Spend a lot of time finding the right, unique ring, that matches her personality.

Good Luck

If there is anyway you can avoid shopping together, I would recommend it. Having it be a surprise will be far more memorable/meaningful for her. That said, I have seen some of my wife's friends get rings that they absolutely hated, so if you have poor taste, then I guess you are better off taking her with you to pick out what she really wants.

If you are really in doubt, you can't go wrong something classic (simple solitare round or emerald cut). It seems when dudes try to get weird/creative is when they end up getting her something she doesn't like.

This guy knows whats up.