Suspect Significant Other of Cheating

A) you're a dumb@ss.

B) she is going to jog a 6-hour marathon.

C) you're getting a divorce in 5 years and it will be your fault. Don't have kids.

Stop stewing and ask her to go for a run next weekend. Gee, that was tough.

Find an affordable private investigator in her town and get a real answer. Then just move on if she's a cheat. Assuming it bothers you.

There's two ways to look at it. 1). Some people need regular sex and she's getting her needs met in a free and easy way, with no need for emotional attachment. She's got her Mrs. Card Punched with you in the future...or so she thinks. 2). Many women are attention hores and she needs hers and she's getting it with a sociopathic disregard for your feelings. Find out through a PI, and then GTFO if she's a cheater. ...Because even if she apologized, and you forgave her...later when other problems arise -- and they always arise in any long term relationship -- she will find the same way to disrespect you -- or others.

Just get a definitive answer as fast as you can, so you don't go through this torture too long. And maybe start getting your eyes looking for a new girl yourself.

You are nuts.

Interesting. According to this stuff…it looks like she has already found a better long-term option.

Oh well.

Do this: offer to run with her and the group. If she gets defensive or avoids it, that's a red flag. No reason you can't join a public running group for a run or two. If you know anyone in the group, ask them if your fiancée has been out to runs. If she is stupid enough to cheat before the wedding, her cheating will be out of control after the wedding. Find out now or suffer later.

AmIBeingParanoid wrote:

She literally had no idea what pace she was running her runs when I asked. Isn't that at least a little bit weird two months in?

At the same time I recognize this is literally an insane thing for her to make up/ lie about because I would really have no idea what she was doing otherwise. I hadn't even mentioned the running together thing in years before she signed up. I don't know.

1) Everyone who trains for a marathon has a target finish time for the race. All marathon training programs focus on pace. Training pace is set based on target marathon finish time.

If she can't tell you her target finish time then she isn't training for a marathon. If she says that her goal is just to finish then ask what the cut-off time is. That sets her minimum marathon race pace and she should know it.

They will know what their training pace is going to be to figure out if their marathon target pace is realistic. They will adjust target finish time in training if their training pace isn't realistic. This is very important for first time marathoners since nearly every city marathon has a strict cut off time.

2) All marathon training plans have a long weekend run. It starts out short but increases in distance throughout the plan. The running store should have a running coach for this training plan. Talk to that person and get the details.

Strap her up to a Garmin. She likely got a ride in a van.

No strava?

If shutting down sex now you need to break this off now. It slows down when your married but needs to be at least 2x a week minimum. If she's shutting it down now you'll be down to once a month in no time.

How many times do she change her lid while blowing u ?

I think you are being paranoid.

It sounds like she is doing a hobby jogging plan with a hobby jogging group. These exist. I have seen them in action.

I think you should consider the fact that perhaps she has no interest in sharing running as a hobby with you, which would explain why she is vague with you.

You should go out and cheat on her, though, as a security measure.

Just kidding. I feel for you bro. Our insecurities can be our downfalls too often. If I had a suggestion it would be to buy a motorcycle and cruise around on it every Sunday.

When you said cheating I thought you were talking about doping or cutting a course short. Now I've lost interest.

A lot of people don't think like this though or take it seriously. It doesn't matter if she used to play soccer, she probably quit the day she finished uni and doesn't take sport seriously now. I have friends who have done marathons and they don't know their training pace. They just show up, run, then forget about it.

Ok so I tried not to think about it for the rest of the day yesterday like someone suggested but this morning I felt like I should just call the store and give myself peace about it. Guess what? Made things way worse. I'm almost positive now.

I called and spoke to the woman who runs the group. She said it's probably too late for me to join the regular group but that I could "meet them for their weekend run if I was up for a longer distance" (and gave me a time) and when I asked more about the training she told me to look at the website for some sample weeks of training that we "email to the runners every week" and sure enough they were there.

My head is really spinning now. I tried calling my fiancee but she said she was in meetings all day and would call me back after her run. I almost yelled right there but kept my cool.

I'm not sure what I am going to do. I am a TA in a summer session course right now but I am thinking of getting someone to cover my class for me this week and driving to her city and just showing up at the running club to confirm this. I am not sure I trust her to tell me the truth and I would rather see it with my own eyes.

Is there a way to enable iPhone tracking remotely? I think I know her phone password or I can probably guess it.

I still don't understand this because there's literally no reason to make this up, she could have just done it anyway and I wouldn't have known (we don't talk much during the week because we're both busy with school and work). Makes no sense.

Ehhh...cheating? More like lying about being in love and wanting to get married. More like knows she'll hurt you very deeply if she breaks it off so is acting like an idiot so you'll do the hard work and save her the agony of seeing you hurt. I know when I loose interest I get very non-committal and vague about everything in hopes the other person will break up with me. I'm a coward.

Where? Nowhere. Everywhere.

When? Whenever. Never.

Who? Nobody. Just me.

Solution, ask her if she's still in love and wants to get married. Ask her if she's having doubts. Tell her it's ok to fall out of love. You can still love someone who you're not "in love with". Show her compassion, but also be firm. You're not a door mat and deserve honesty. If she's already over the marriage you both need to know now so you don't ruin two lives.

Despite the number of lengthy responses, I'm only giving you a 1.6/10. The responses, and in-depth analysis of the responses owe themselves to your backstory. You concocted an elaborate back story with a subject few around here can resist, marathon training. Your fatal flaw, however, and the reason for your low score, is simply the implausibility that your SO would choose an activity you are passionate about and likely to be all over as her excuse to be out of the house. Why not a book club? All she has to do is read a book herself when she is home, pick a couple of nights during the week to meet her real love and boom, the Tuna Town docks are set to accept the skin boat.

Your 20/30-something year-old fiancé, who works for an apparel company, "doesn't really use the internet"?

STFU.

Your story doesn't sound worrisome, but the fact your are worried about her cheating is a problem. Your problem.

If she isn't cheating on you she should, just because you took all the time to write all the mess.

Flounder wrote:

1) Everyone who trains for a marathon has a target finish time for the race.

Go to any suburb of any big city. Stand on the sidewalk at about 6:00 p.m. and wait. Eventually an overweight woman will amble by. She'll be wearing a full-body spandex outfit and will have on a water belt. She'll be jogging very slowly. Stop her and ask her which marathon she's training for. It will be Chicago or MCM or something similar. And ask her for her goal time. She'll tell you that her only goal is to finish! Because who needs to track times?!?

True story.

Here on LRC there are simple, long established, unequivocal markers for cheating.

Race your SO. If she beats you ..... she cheated.

Compare PRs. If hers are lower .... she cheated.

Is she from a foreign country? If she is .... she cheated.

For a newer more comprehensive test, use Trackbot.

You can sometimes even tell exactly HOW she cheated.

Does she smile at the end of a race? If not .... she doped.

Does she have ANY lean muscle mass? If so .... she's on the roids.

This is a very good thread - troll or not.

Please get a substitute to cover your class and show up during the week to catch the tramp in action - keep us posted! (if you are trolling, please make up something good).