Fiance wants to bring parents on honeymoon...

pr100 wrote:

Bail out now....

This. Nothing more, nothing less.

Whoa, she's thinking foursome!

It seems only fair given that you insist on bringing your mommy too!

Not gonna be able to do it wrote:

My wife is the same way. She was pissed when I wanted to have sex on our wedding night since we had an early flight the next day and she wanted to sleep. She shut down sex during the honeymoon since "we can have sex anytime...I want to shop, hike, do tourist stuff...". Needless to say things haven't changed.

WHAT?? If fixed your response, below--

Baby, we getting it on tonight!! You can sleep during the flight, AFTER the Mile High Club!!

How many red flags do you need before you realize that she is damaged goods? I understand you love her, but that doesn't mean you marry her.

1) She has let herself go. Sounds like she is mid-20s? Wow, she has already given up on life. You leg go of your body, it's easier to let go of your career ambitions, your dedication to your spouse, family, kids, etc. She sounds miserable.

2) Don't mention at honeymoon? Wow. She controls you. Does she demean you often? Do you feel belittled at time? She is taking out her letting go insecurities on you. Don't be a victim. Say she will honor the marriage. Sounds like she has a high IQ, but ZERO people skills. Would you say she has a personality disorder?

3) Don't marry her. She's not ready. Let her get in shape, get motivated, and get ready to rock your world. If she doesn't have that mentality and motivation, just put it off. It's for the best.

dont do it wrote:

Your entire married life will be like this.

Run fast now, in the other direction.

This is probably about the only thread in letsrun history where everyone agrees on the same thing. And what they agree on, is that you are screwed. And this goes beyond just not having sex for a week. That just happens to be what let everyone know how bad your situation is.

Unfortunately, if it is bad enough that she even said that, your in so deep your going to get married to her anyway and spend the next several years being miserable.

Chrome autofill settings wrote:

This is probably about the only thread in letsrun history where everyone agrees on the same thing. And what they agree on, is that you are screwed. And this goes beyond just not having sex for a week. That just happens to be what let everyone know how bad your situation is.

Unfortunately, if it is bad enough that she even said that, your in so deep your going to get married to her anyway and spend the next several years being miserable.

I thought we agreed he isn't screwed, and that's the problem.

Your marriage is already over

I think I know someone going to the OP's wedding. He has been dating this girl for 3 months, never had sex, and is wondering if he should get one or two hotel rooms if they stay at the wedding site.

I think you should send this guy on the sexless honeymoon with your wife and the in-laws and you ought to stay at the hotel with his girlfriend and just get the one room. Everyone will be happy.

Obvious troll but the subject line was good.

So 8/10

Haha

Big sled hill wrote:

If you're trolling, quit watching Lifetime TV for Women.

If this is legit, you're Taliban or something, so go away.

Let's see. As I understand it, you're not married yet? Right?

KEEP IT THAT WAY.

You're seeing the future.

"Women play these kind of games. They don't mean it

Just say I do and pull the trigger."

False! Women get accused of playing games. Most of us, however, say what we mean and mean what we say. Why waste time playing games when it's less effort (and way more effective) to just communicate honestly and directly? Yes does mean yes. No does mean no in case you're confused about that.

But, in all seriousness, this is a screwed up situation. Get counseling or something. Your girlfriend obviously has some serious problems with sex. Maybe she has some religious guilt issues she needs to work out. Insecurity about her body. Past sexual trauma. Sex is painful for her. She's not sexually attracted to you. She's just asexual and doesn't like sex in general.

Either way, you need to figure this out before you tie the knot or you will have a marital life where there is chronic frustration, hurt, and resentment for both of you.

Granted, it's normal for men to have a higher sex drive and to want more sex than women, but it sounds like your partner is already pathologically avoidant of sex. That's a problem. You want sex to be relaxed, enjoyable for both parties, not pressured. You don't want a sexless marriage.

More true words have never been spoken in the history of letsrun.com

I'm probably slightly more optimistic for you than others on here, but it still doesn't sound great. First, the honeymoon with the in-laws is a little strange but if you all get along it could be a great time (probably won't be, but it could be), my cause for concern is that you're all in the same house? You should strongly reconsider this, if they are coming along tell them you want to be in a hotel with different rooms, preferably different floors. Also, I agree with what some others have said, if she doesn't like the proposition that your parents can come along, then it's not fair and say it's all parents or none. But again, having your own separate space is important.

Secondly, on the topic of sex, maybe just try a different approach and talk about sex ALL the time. Like the next time you have people over or you go out somewhere end the night with "all right we're gonna get going, we're going home to bang like jackrabbits." Or even on the honey moon "alright mom and dad, we're going back our room to go at it." It lightens the mood a little bit. Now that I'm typing this it sounds like your lady would hate that and turn off more. Bottom line, if you can't be yourself and make your feelings known, it's not a good situation. Your desires don't always have to win out, but you have to at least be able to get your thoughts out there without repercussions.

StopAndThink wrote:

This is so wrong on so many levels. But just know, that you will always be second fiddle to her parents. Any conflicts, she will always side with them. And your family (parents, siblings) will even be further behind. E.g., One day you will want your parents to watch the baby, she won't allow it.

She seems to play the 'respect my decision' card. Repect is a 2-way street. She needs to respect your feelings, decisions, etc, too. Obviously she does not.

If you are ok with her making all the decisions in your life, you being second, your family third then go ahead and marry her. But power corrupts and it will get worse. I've seen it happen.

You better have a frank discussion with her or get out.

+1,000,000 --> everything this guy said. Be careful.

Honest female opinion here wrote:

Granted, it's normal for men to have a higher sex drive and to want more sex than women

The women in my life have always craved to have sex with me.

I think women in general have higher sex drives than men do, or at least just as high.

Its a sign of things to come !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dump her now and save the bullet , and the pain!!!!!

or...... castrate yourself now and embrace your purse carrying, yes mama, whatever you say dear, days to come !!

As everyone seems to agree you should not marry this woman.

I don't think you have the balls to call off this engagement, so for the love of God, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS WOMAN.

In this day and age a marraige is just a piece of paper, you can easily walk away, never speak to her again. Once she starts popping out babies she will have her hooks into you for the rest of your life.

Not in my experience wrote:

The women in my life have always craved to have sex with me.

I think women in general have higher sex drives than men do, or at least just as high.[/quote]

This has been my experience as well. Especially if they have tattoos or ride horses. Although it's possible any relationship I've had with someone who seems like they will be sticks-in-the-mud about sex doesn't last long as a result (and I don't mean that they have to put out right away by this). I can't comment on what happens after marriage.