Met a girl I think could be my future wife... However, the timing is terrible. Please advise.

You met someone that

"you think could be your wife.."

and you came to LRC for advice?

LMAO

OP, you must grovel. That's you're only hope for a healthy, long term relationship

This is pretty simple. And I don't see how the timing is terrible. You admit you have a flexible job. So stay there and date her.

Match Maker wrote:

Life, relationships take compromise and hard work like anything else.

As the poster above points out, relationships require compromise. If you want to do exactly what you want to do your entire life, then you will be single. That's on you. This sounds like a perfect relationship so stick around and see if it works out. You can't be 100% self-centered and be in a relationship.

Email your thoughts to a woman you trust and ask for her honest feedback. I suspect she wouldn't want to date you, let alone marry you. She might feel you won't make a great partner since nowhere in your post did you mention her feelings, aspirations, or thoughts about anything, much less the life you are planning for yourself.

Picking a set age to get married is foolish in my opinion. What if you'd decided to get married at 25 or 26 and you were dating your ex? Would you be happy today?

A marriage involves two people sharing, not someone simply fulfilling a box on your checklist then tagging along on the path you've dreamed up. Also, nothing that you wrote about traveling or attending school with a wife or family is accurate. Plenty of married people make sacrifices and accomplish exactly the opposite of what you believe is unlikely.

This is the time to talk to her about the direction of your relationship, The time to listen to her dreams and thoughts and share yours- honest open conversation.

Relationships are about give thing your things up and replacing them with us things;

I always say a relationship must be at least 15% her, 15% you and 70% us.

early on dating can work at 45/45/10 but building a relationship actually starts at about 40/40/20 and a committed relationship (let us see where it goes) must be at least at the 30/30/40 level. The speed [and ease] it reaches 24/24/52 the first real milepost to predict long term reality. Oh the path is not always balanced- circumstance.

thoughts from a different era wrote:

This is the time to talk to her about the direction of your relationship, The time to listen to her dreams and thoughts and share yours- honest open conversation.

Relationships are about give thing your things up and replacing them with us things;

I always say a relationship must be at least 15% her, 15% you and 70% us.

early on dating can work at 45/45/10 but building a relationship actually starts at about 40/40/20 and a committed relationship (let us see where it goes) must be at least at the 30/30/40 level. The speed [and ease] it reaches 24/24/52 the first real milepost to predict long term reality. Oh the path is not always balanced- circumstance.

Oh my God! Is that what women really think? No wonder so many men are trapped in unhappy relationships!

Mojo Jerkin wrote:

That's called falling in love ... but it requires some sacrifice on your part. If you aren't willing to make some sacrifices to be around her, then move on. It is that simple.

Agree with this. All relationships require some compromise. You need to know what you can sacrifice and what you can't, not just now but long term.

Iowakidscanrun wrote:

Been moving around the past 10 years implies he left home at age 17. This and the 50 girls......troll. 3/10

50 girls a lot? In 10 years? You guys are dorks, I've probably met over 100 girls from online (ok Cupid, tinder, match) in the past year. That's just two a week if you haven't found a steady girl. Pretty par for the course in a big city.

Sounds like she's going to have a narrow escape

Not a runner dork wrote:

Iowakidscanrun wrote:

Been moving around the past 10 years implies he left home at age 17. This and the 50 girls......troll. 3/10

50 girls a lot? In 10 years? You guys are dorks, I've probably met over 100 girls from online (ok Cupid, tinder, match) in the past year. That's just two a week if you haven't found a steady girl. Pretty par for the course in a big city.

This. I joined tinder in March and have gone out with over 30 girls since then. Doesn't mean I've slept with that many, just that I've gone out with that many.

I am not in love. It's too early. I have been in love before and know what it's like.

I don't really expect people here to understand my way of thinking. Most people don't. I have a pretty unconventional lifestyle.

I'm well aware relationships are about compromise, and that is precisely why I'm hesitant. I don't want to compromise at this time in my life. I had made a clear and conscious decision to NOT get tied down with anything and go and live for a while... Then I met this girl, and it was like, "Crap. This wasn't supposed to happen!" If I met her 4 years from now I'd probably be thinking very differently, but it isn't 4 years from now; it's now.

I will try to take it easy and see where things go over the next month-ish. I will know better then of course, but I still thought I might receive some thoughtful input here.

Hey dude, I didn't read your post but I think the best advice would be to keep it on the 'crete.

My main regret is how much of my life I wasted waiting for "the right time" or "the right one". It's never going to be a perfect, sometimes you just have to take a chance and go for it. It's like the Eagle's song "we may lose or we may win, but we will never be here again".

Alien Guy wrote:

I'm well aware relationships are about compromise, and that is precisely why I'm hesitant. I don't want to compromise at this time in my life.

I did that once, after a nice night with a women I'd been dating, all of a sudden becoming much more. I got miffed about some little incident, took her home and stopped talking to her. I ended up on a long term relationship with another women I'd been seeing and have no regrets about that as she was the most awesome person. After she passed I finally found the other woman, sent her an email apologizing for the immature way that I'd acted, and that I'd be open to talking about it if she wished. Of course she ended up in the other relationship she'd been in at the time and was still in it, so probably didn't feel free to answer. In any case, and the point, is that I have no regrets with the direction of my life and have been very happy in that regard, the woman I was with was very special to me and always will be. However I deeply regret how I cut off the relationship with that woman especially when we were so close. I'm sure that it hurt her quite a bit. That was 40 years ago, long in the past, but not forgotten.

*woman not women

Not a runner dork wrote:

Iowakidscanrun wrote:

Been moving around the past 10 years implies he left home at age 17. This and the 50 girls......troll. 3/10

50 girls a lot? In 10 years? You guys are dorks, I've probably met over 100 girls from online (ok Cupid, tinder, match) in the past year. That's just two a week if you haven't found a steady girl. Pretty par for the course in a big city.

Two girls a week that you found online and you've been through 100 girls?? Anand you think this is par for the course?

All those girls and you didn't establish one meaningful long term relationship!? Suggestion, do you think just maybe you ought to change the way you are trying to meet women?

Not trying to make you feel bad, but man you are striking out a lot.

Conundrum wrote:

All those girls and you didn't establish one meaningful long term relationship!? Suggestion, do you think just maybe you ought to change the way you are trying to meet women?

I see hundreds of women on date sites, and rarely if ever meet any of them, because the chances of them being a good match with me are basically zero.

According to you, I've missing out on possibly one meaningful relationship by not meeting any of the. However I think that is blatantely false. The OP's experience is very similar to mine, except he's at least bothering to meet the ones that he probably already knows in advance have no chance.

I give him credit for that, as it's something that I wouldn't bother to do.

I usually don't post on non-running topics but I couldn't help myself with this one.

If she is the one you can't let her go. You really don't know where you'll be four years from now. Life doesn't come with a script.

I could be dead tomorrow. When I met my wife I was 19. I was WAY too young but she was the one. I couldn't let her get away. Now we have the two most incredible kids I could never have imagined would be part of my life. They would not have existed if I was an idiot. I could not imagine that. Maybe someday I could have grandkids, maybe not. Again, no script.

Here's the catch. This isn't about you, it's about both of you.

Don't mess this up!!!!

Sounds very promising except for one minor detail: she doesn't want you

On average how often does a date turn into a sexual experience too? One out of three,one out of six, one out of ten . . . ?

Date one new girl every other week and you've dated about 200 girls by your mid twenties easy .

When I was younger one out of four but as I got older more frequent and at 40 or so it started to become more often than not. Sex became to be much more causal and less tied to the potential of having a long term commitment and more part and parcel of the dating experience .

I date four or five of women on a regular basis as some one over sixty and sexually active with all of them. a couple of them are even call and say want to come over for the night? Good uncomplicated sex is a great thing . I don't mind being someone\s booty call :)