What counts as a good excuse to miss the league championship?

malmo wrote:

Believe it or not, everyone does not have the same expectations from their participation in sports as you do.

What's the problem, does someone dare have a life outside of your solipsistic little bubble? Why don't you just thank her for being on the team and move on, like most grownups would do?

I agree with this ^

I also like the use of the word, 'solipsistic'. Even though I have no idea what it means.

My old room mate (who also lurks here) missed his sister's wedding to compete in the state meet. His parent's would restate your question as "what counts as a good excuse to miss a sibling's wedding?"

He won the 3200 and got additional notice which lead to more scholarship dollars. Thirty years later and she is still married. No hard feelings, it all came out good.

*******

I do not know how devote in his Jewish faith is Sandy Koufax but he skipped his start of game 1 of the 1965 World Series because it fell on Yom Kippur.

Coach N wrote:

The high school coach's creed: "I will put as much effort into coaching an athlete as that athlete puts into being coached"

This. Coach the kids who want to improve and be coached. If a kid wants to come and go as he pleases. Not much you can do in a no cut sport. But he or she sure as hell won't be traveling to any big meets and would relegated to performing at low key duel meets only.

Also the bar mitzvah means more to him than some league meet. Just as a wedding a family members wedding would for most.

Positive Contribution wrote:

Also the bar mitzvah means more to him than some league meet. Just as a wedding a family members wedding would for most.

Its not "some league meet" and its a cousin not a sibling.

Even if the kid is not decent, my guess is he wants to go to the meet. The question is can he do both? Our league meet is an all day affair, is the bar mitzvah out of town?

&(Y&*jisd wrote:

Even if the kid is not decent, my guess is he wants to go to the meet. The question is can he do both? Our league meet is an all day affair, is the bar mitzvah out of town?

The league meet might be an all-day affair but the kid's event is probably not. As long as he can get transportation to/from seems somewhat likely that he could do both.

There are a few things that come into play here including but not limited to expectations you placed on the team and how long the athlete has known when Champs was. Did they know they would be running in Champs early in the season? Did you make them aware of when it was and that they may be running in it and that as part of the team they were EXPECTED to be running in it? How long have they known about the Mitzvah? It sucks but there's nothing you can do. Religion and family are tricky things as a coach to deal with. I normally err on the side of caution but I also make it clear early in the season when dates are (send them home to families as well) and remind them through the season to keep certain dates clear. It works more often than not but every once in a while...

I know last year we had a girl who pushed her way into our state qualifying 4x8 the last 3 weeks of the season (injury to our regular 4 at the time plus a big drop in time (18 seconds from the end of March until Mid-May). She let us know before the qualifying meet that she wouldn't be able to go to States if we qualified because she had family she had never met before coming over that weekend from Europe. We talked about it, how disappointed we were (her, her teammates, her mom, and the coaches) but she wanted to help us qualify and her teammates knew it would be tight without her. She hadn't missed anything all year and though she wanted to go we understood the situation. We ran slower at States as our regular 4th came back but was far from her best but we got to go. This year we already talked to her and she's raring to go.

Most important to whom? You? The athlete? Malmo is right on this one. Most kids are done with track the moment they graduate. Family is forever.

I frame this differently as a high school coach. It is exactly because most of these runners won't continue to the ranks of Collegiate or Professional that I stress life skills like commitment, teamwork, pro active responsibility, etc. I truly believe that I can make these student better people as well as better runners by setting clear expectations of them in every area. I publish all the meet dates before the season begins so that when a runner makes a commitment to a team, I can hold him/her accountable for it. That skill will be way more valuable than whatever time one might run. It is not about obsessing over the time a student runs, but the character of that student. Therefore, this is how I would expect a student handle the situation on my team: a) come and talk to me personally (not through mom and dad or by email) well in advance b) work with me to try to find an alternative (here I will loop in mom and dad) c) If not compromise alternative presents itself, the student will tell the team and I will back him or her 100%--make a choice, live with the consequences. This can also be a good time to teach the team a lot about disappointment and dealing with factors outside one's control.

Because my athletes may not continue training and racing competitively I emphasize these "life skills"

Exactly. It's more about being accountable and seeing a season all the way through than anything else. And for those of you who don't see the value in those things, I don't know why you're even posting. I don't mind if someone disagrees with me about the importance of a cousin's coming-of-age/religious ceremony--that's why I asked for feedback. But if you don't think a kid needs to a) have a good excuse and b) give advance notice for missing a big meet, we can't really have a conversation.

To the poster 'No Way': Framing this as Family vs Track is a little melodramatic and presents a false choice. This cousin will be able to enjoy his bar mitzvah whether my runner attends or not; and unless he's a complete turd, I would be absolutely shocked if he severed family ties over this.

Also, who cares if a kid never puts on spikes again after he graduates? Coaching high school track isn't about grooming future pros; it's about helping kids learn and/or develop the integrity, confidence and life skills that 'VAcoach' mentioned.

For the record, because I think this is important: the kid told me he would rather run. If this were someone who didn't give a sh\it, I wouldn't either.

I'm not disagreeing with anything you just said. The kid has two obligations, one to the team and one to his family. I have no doubt that he'd rather run. Most kids would unless they were very close to their cousin (sometimes cousins can be like brothers).

I agree with your assessment of high school sports and commitment. However, running track might at best be the equivalent of your commitment to a job as an adult. Who wants to be the guy missing family events because he has a deadline or is working out of town?

Frustrated Coach wrote:

[O]ne of my students just told me, with less than a week before the big dance, that he can't run in the league championship meet (the final competition for most kids) because he has to attend his cousin's bar mitzvah.

Her parents were even more adamant, so there's nothing I can do...

Your story is two sentences long, but you still couldn't keep it straight. In the first sentence your student is male, and in the second she is female.

Neutral Observertard wrote:

Frustrated Coach wrote:

[O]ne of my students just told me, with less than a week before the big dance, that he can't run in the league championship meet (the final competition for most kids) because he has to attend his cousin's bar mitzvah.

Her parents were even more adamant, so there's nothing I can do...

Your story is two sentences long, but you still couldn't keep it straight. In the first sentence your student is male, and in the second she is female.

If you don't believe me, feel free to either give me a troll rating or, you know, not respond. Couldn't care less.

Frustrated Coach wrote:

If you don't believe me, feel free to either give me a troll rating or, you know, not respond. Couldn't care less.

Of course, I believe you. It is not uncommon for high school runners to change from boys into girls.

I certainly wouldn't put him on the roster for any future meets. Have him turn in his uniform like all the kids that didn't qualify for postseason meets

Neutral Observertard wrote:

Frustrated Coach wrote:

If you don't believe me, feel free to either give me a troll rating or, you know, not respond. Couldn't care less.

Of course, I believe you. It is not uncommon for high school runners to change from boys into girls.

almost as common as typos on Letsrun!

Frustrated Coach wrote:

Neutral Observertard wrote:

Of course, I believe you. It is not uncommon for high school runners to change from boys into girls.

almost as common as typos on Letsrun!

I certianly never make typoes on LetsRun.

If I was the athlete, I would dump the coach. Sounds like the normal overbearing old and/or fat HS coach who is more about asserting authority than actually coaching. Get over yourself, it's just HS track, it's not like it's important or anything. Whatevs.