I slept with your wife yesterday morning while you were out running. Well, slept is the wrong word. She seemed extremely horny.
I slept with your wife yesterday morning while you were out running. Well, slept is the wrong word. She seemed extremely horny.
vvvvvc wrote:
My GF hates me running too. It was not the running tho, it was the pain of her waiting by herself for me to finish, she felt lonely also because she didn't have a hobby other than TV and facebook.
I went out and bought the prettiest of all mountain bikes and a matching coloured helmet for her. I said here you go, you're coming with me next time I run. She loves it, rides easily next to me and smiling all the way. She's also getting fitter and now I'm getting laid more. Maybe this could work for you. If not try and do a physical activity she might like other than your running.
Nice solution!
Try bringing the wife and kids out to run/bike/play sports/hike, maybe in a place where there is a playground or beach at the end of it, so that they are active, time with family is more fun, and that'll put your wife in a better mood. About the yelling once the kids go to bed, there might be a way of convincing her to work together on the discipline, with much more positivity and creativity to forestall major problems, and also to make the time after the kids are in bed not all talk about kids and how to deal with them, because it gets exhausting.
Maybe I didn't read the posts carefully enough but I didn't get a sense of kids and if so, how many and if the wife works. If there are kids and hubby is going off running leaving her with the kids and she never gets a moment for herself then she has a point. But this doesn't seem to be the case so I think she's being pretty unfair. This is coming from a woman married for 25 years this June. You have to let your spouse pursue what gives them meaning in their life as long as they don't go overboard. She needs to chill a bit or the marriage will be over soon.
If you get grief due to kids, trade 'em for the latest Garmin. I have friends whose wives nag them about running. For any eligible bachelors in here, always check a woman's 5k PR before you drop a ring on her. This is the true secret to martial bliss.
I'll never understand why woman feel this way, but I've seen it in many ways. I recall my sister-in-law giving my very over weight brother grief about playing rec basketball before work in the morning even though it kept him slim, fit, and healthy (relatively speaking). Now as a result he doesn't play at all anymore and he's gone back to being extremely over weight. She says he's welcomed to run in the morning on the treadmill and it's clearly torture for him, so he doesn't, but she still doesn't want him playing basketball. So I would chalk up this whole premiss to that of women disliking their hubbies exercising and spending time on their own while enjoying it. If it were torture, such as the treadmill for my brother, it would be okay.
Women weaken legs.
Well, 5k PR, or amount of weekly mileage is not always a good predictor of your potential wife-to-be stance towards your FUTURE running. My wife has been a top collegiate runner, continued to run for several years post college, holding only part time jobs and essentially being a pro. Then pregnancies came, half assed attempts at returns, until she finally realized that her heart is not in it anymore. Initially, I had copied her career as a runner, and dropped competing for a few years, although never running. I just scaled down to maybe 60 - 70 miles per week. One day I realized that I missed competition and returned to racing, very successfully, even at higher level than before. I just did most of my running early in the morning and during lunch hours at work. About twice a week I ran from work, but was home at about same time I would be had I driven my car. My wife became more and more resentful of my running, even though she had her time for her exercise (she stopped calling it running, because she went out for 35-45 minutes a pop, and ran slowly). Every time I won a race or had success, she always made ironic comments about my age (at that time early to mid thirties), and what I was trying to prove. I provided for the family financially, took care of the kids and raced only about 15x a year, maybe once connecting with travelling (always taking her with me and arranging the childcare), otherwise racing locally, and rarely hanging around after the race...
After few years, I had just realized that she was, in fact, just jealous of my running and that she cannot/did not want to commit herself to running like she used to. She was always the more successful in running, and I was very supportive, often adjusting my workouts so that she had company for hard runs, and pacing. Now I was a local "celebrity", and she got only blips in articles, as course record holder from 5 - 10 years ago, wife of the 3 x winner, etc.
Several years later, I realized that her jealousy is understandable, I had stopped competing in my late 30's, and she relaxed. I run almost as much as before (always having in mind to be as unobtrusive with the runs as possible - even if it means waking up at 4:30 on Sunday morning), and she is cool with it, as long as I don't mention any races. It was a compromise I was willing to make, and chalk it up to marrying an ubercompetitive woman. I knew her character before marrying her, even being impressed by it, so I am just hoping she will channel her competitiveness to something productive (even running in her forties), where she can excel. I was becoming old anyway, so there was no harm.
Just be wary of choosing your wife based on her PR, or current mileage, it can backfire.
sjkbvku wrote:
I know the feeling. If I spend any time doing something by myself that I enjoy it's looked upon as selfish - not in the family's best interest. Getting up early doesn't cut because if I can get up early to run, why can't I get up early to earn more money or study for an MBA or paint the house.
Why doesn't the wife earn more or study for an MBA? What does she bring to the table? My wife earns 1.5x my salary. She never makes any remarks about how I should make more money. I don't run anymore but I do play basketball 3 times per week at lunch time, which I love. I've played before I met her and I play now like clockwork. When you're in a relationship, you're not supposed to change who that person is.
Flagpole wrote:
The "quit the wife" comments are blunt and to the point, so much so that you might not consider it.
I wouldn't go right there, but a spouse should be understanding and supportive of basically innocuous things that another spouse likes to do.
So, does she have to plan things around your running? Umm...yes. Just like you would if she took up scrapbooking on Sunday afternoon or whatever the hell else she wants to do.
My wife, other than a very brief time, has never been a runner. She NEVER gave me grief as I trained up to 140 MPW back when I trained for and ran a couple of ultras. There are spouses all over this country who support their spouse's activities even though they themselves don't participate...sports fans, model train enthusiasts, and on and on.
Your wife needs a calm sit down conversation telling her that she's being unreasonable. Your running is important to you. It keeps you happy and healthy. I would NEVER put up with my wife being like that with me over running. Fortunately I married one who was perfect from the beginning. Yours isn't yet. Time for her to understand.
Aside from the 140mpw (!), this very closely describes my situation, wife, and feelings on the matter. I am certainly sympathetic to the situation, and the advice to directly talk to her about it might be as good as you're going to get. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that there might not be any substitute for, "Marry an easy-going woman."
About the happy wife, happy life stuff, I'm SO unimpressed with that. It seems either wimpy, or a strangely proud declaration that one married an excessively difficult person, or a little of both. Living by that motto - IF achieving that "happy" is constant struggle - is nothing to be "proud" of. Choose wisely.....
jjjjjj wrote:
vvvvvc wrote:My GF hates me running too. It was not the running tho, it was the pain of her waiting by herself for me to finish, she felt lonely also because she didn't have a hobby other than TV and facebook.
I went out and bought the prettiest of all mountain bikes and a matching coloured helmet for her. I said here you go, you're coming with me next time I run. She loves it, rides easily next to me and smiling all the way. She's also getting fitter and now I'm getting laid more. Maybe this could work for you. If not try and do a physical activity she might like other than your running.
Nice solution!
That is pretty genius. That sort of mutual benefits works well. And it's true. Women get lonely when their men are not with them.
Oh gawd....Like "women" are some mindless version of men, who can't possibly entertain themselves, and god forbid, have time away from their Man....jesus Christ! You people are either dating some pathetic women, or we have a long way to go in your understanding/respect for women.
electron1661 wrote:
That is pretty genius. That sort of mutual benefits works well. And it's true. Women get lonely when their men are not with them.
Dayum! Sucks to be you bro. I wonder what would have happened if:- You did a short 6mi tempo with her.- Commented on her poor shape.Perhaps this would have motivated her to get back into it?General question to the women on LR, how would you respond if your spouse/bf suggested that you are out of shape?
Forrest child wrote:
Well, 5k PR, or amount of weekly mileage is not always a good predictor of your potential wife-to-be stance towards your FUTURE running. My wife has been a top collegiate runner, continued to run for several years post college, holding only part time jobs and essentially being a pro. Then pregnancies came, half assed attempts at returns, until she finally realized that her heart is not in it anymore. Initially, I had copied her career as a runner, and dropped competing for a few years, although never running. I just scaled down to maybe 60 - 70 miles per week. One day I realized that I missed competition and returned to racing, very successfully, even at higher level than before. I just did most of my running early in the morning and during lunch hours at work. About twice a week I ran from work, but was home at about same time I would be had I driven my car. My wife became more and more resentful of my running, even though she had her time for her exercise (she stopped calling it running, because she went out for 35-45 minutes a pop, and ran slowly). Every time I won a race or had success, she always made ironic comments about my age (at that time early to mid thirties), and what I was trying to prove. I provided for the family financially, took care of the kids and raced only about 15x a year, maybe once connecting with travelling (always taking her with me and arranging the childcare), otherwise racing locally, and rarely hanging around after the race...
After few years, I had just realized that she was, in fact, just jealous of my running and that she cannot/did not want to commit herself to running like she used to. She was always the more successful in running, and I was very supportive, often adjusting my workouts so that she had company for hard runs, and pacing. Now I was a local "celebrity", and she got only blips in articles, as course record holder from 5 - 10 years ago, wife of the 3 x winner, etc.
Several years later, I realized that her jealousy is understandable, I had stopped competing in my late 30's, and she relaxed. I run almost as much as before (always having in mind to be as unobtrusive with the runs as possible - even if it means waking up at 4:30 on Sunday morning), and she is cool with it, as long as I don't mention any races. It was a compromise I was willing to make, and chalk it up to marrying an ubercompetitive woman. I knew her character before marrying her, even being impressed by it, so I am just hoping she will channel her competitiveness to something productive (even running in her forties), where she can excel. I was becoming old anyway, so there was no harm.
Just be wary of choosing your wife based on her PR, or current mileage, it can backfire.
Trollus Maximus wrote:
General question to the women on LR, how would you respond if your spouse/bf suggested that you are out of shape?
Point him to the couch.
I’m a D2 female runner. Our coach explicitly told us not to visit LetsRun forums.
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