Was anyone else super terrified/paranoid before your wife's first ultrasound?

you probably don't want to hear this, but the first time my (now) wife and I went for a 12 wk scan we were told that she'd suffered a "missed miscarriage" - in other words, a miscarriage but none of the obvious symptoms (i.e. bleeding) and that the embryo had 'died' about 2 or 3 weeks before that - so that's what we could see in the scan, a dead embryo. It was, as you'd expect, an extremely difficult experience, in large part due to the unexpected nature of it. We were well aware of the dangers of miscarriage but assumed that by that point we were in the clear and our only concerns going into the scan were that the embryo was developing without abnormalities. There was another miscarriage about 5 or 6 months later, but a more 'normal' one this time. Thankfully we now have a little girl of almost 3 years old so all those darker days are a thing of the past now. Not completely forgotten admittedly, still gives me chills when I think of that first one and how much of an almighty slap around the face it was - felt like the end of the world at the time, but time's a good healer.

Anyway, best of luck - the overwhelming likelihood if you've got to 11 weeks smoothly is that everything will turn out fine.

I know the feeling, Keaveny. When my wife got pregnant we waited until a few days before the 12 weeks scan in order to tell anyone. We let our parents know, we let our friends know. We went in for the scan, already having a frame at home for our first ultrasound picture. The doc had a very hard time locating the heart. No biggie, that's typical at this age and where the baby was located. The baby wasn't moving. She tried and tried to get a good look at her and our hearts were in our throats. What the hell? Baby was dead. My wife got very sick a few days later and had to go back to the doc in order to get the embryo removed. We went into the appointment with names picked out and left with a dead mass in her. My wife took 6 months to recover.

Good sign wrote:

If you are crapping your pants already, it's the first sign that you are going to be a decent dad. Oh, and get used to that feeling. It's now part of who you are.

Excellent post. So very true.

Thanks everyone so much for your posts. There are some very good people on LRC. My condolences to those that lost their children at an early stage. God Bless.

There was something I wanted to ask and forgot. My wife suddenly felt WAY better yesterday out of nowhere, at exactly 11 weeks. She has previously had like 24/7 sickness. But suddenly yesterday she felt very good. Is that sort of thing normal?, to go from bad to fine very quickly? Is it just where she's getting close to the end of the first trimester?

scared as scared can be! wrote:

Thanks everyone so much for your posts. There are some very good people on LRC. My condolences to those that lost their children at an early stage. God Bless.

There was something I wanted to ask and forgot. My wife suddenly felt WAY better yesterday out of nowhere, at exactly 11 weeks. She has previously had like 24/7 sickness. But suddenly yesterday she felt very good. Is that sort of thing normal?, to go from bad to fine very quickly? Is it just where she's getting close to the end of the first trimester?

It is perfectly normal for your wife to change from day to day and week to week. Basically, don't count on anything staying the same throughout the pregnancy and don't let each change worry you. Talk with your doctor if you wish but they will almost certainly tell you the same thing (using more words).

Unless your wife experiences a whole lot of discomfort or a fever just chill and enjoy the ride.

Congratulations by the way.

Thanks boss.

I wasn't so scared of the first ultrasound as I was astonished when the child was born.

The baby came out half black.

But my wife is black, so that made sense.

I am loving these posts.

OP, you will be fine. Congrats, you are on your way through the most ridiculous journey you will ever have (or even dream of having). You will love this kid no matter what the results of this ultrasound. I am sure everything is perfect.

As a father of two (7 and 3), I can assure you that the praying will only get more intense as they get older. I cannot even imagine what it is like once they are teenagers.

Be strong for your wife no matter what. Even if you get scared senseless, be tough and man up. You may not need this advice during the pregnancy, but you will undoubtedly need it at some point before your kid is 5. There will be scares along the way. The good news is that you are scared because you love the little thing so much.

Just said a prayer for you and your wife.

Thanks so much brother. Much appreicated.

Always a bit scared, but sometimes being a bit new to the process is helpful. As they say, ignorance is bliss. My wife is a little over 12 weeks. The 12 week ultrasound is quite revealing and I can say I wasn't expecting to see nearly as much detail as we did. Head, face, hands, arms and legs all visible. Hearing the heart beat is what brings it all home. I think it helps to remember that people have been doing this for a really long time without the benefit of modern technology or medical knowledge. It's an amazing thing but also something that is about as common an experience as you can find. Dad's are more important as kids get older. Now is the time to be the calm and confident one and remember that you have the easy end of it for the time being. You can stress out later when you get to support them all for the rest of their lives.

NO. YOU ARE JUST STUPID AND UNDESIRABLE. No one wants you as a husband much less to be a man and raise a child.

lettuce run wrote:

Forget ultrasounds I wasn't stupid enough to get married.

Well, we had the ultrasound late this afternoon and we received quite a surprise. Turns out my wife is not pregnant at all. Her symptoms were caused by a massive tapeworm that likely was the result of eating sushi. Kind of a bummer.

Thanks again to all of you for your advice and support. Hopefully I'll be able to resurrect this thread in the not too distant future when she really is with child. God bless.

Walking alongside your wife beyond the first trimester of pregnancy is an example of how we as men are not ever really in control of anything. This is further evident as the pregnancy progresses and into fatherhood. All the more reason to trust our sovereign God and model this for your wife and future kids.

I hope everyone realizes that I didn't write this. If you can do an IP address check you can confirm that for yourself. Apart from the person that wrote the thing in quotes below, thanks to everyone for their kindness and their honest responses.

scared as scared can be wrote:

Well, we had the ultrasound late this afternoon and we received quite a surprise. Turns out my wife is not pregnant at all. Her symptoms were caused by a massive tapeworm that likely was the result of eating sushi. Kind of a bummer.

Thanks again to all of you for your advice and support. Hopefully I'll be able to resurrect this thread in the not too distant future when she really is with child. God bless.

Your sovereign God gave his wife a tapeworm instead of a baby. He sure works in mysterious ways.

FWTXrun wrote:

Walking alongside your wife beyond the first trimester of pregnancy is an example of how we as men are not ever really in control of anything. This is further evident as the pregnancy progresses and into fatherhood. All the more reason to trust our sovereign God and model this for your wife and future kids.

Amen.

It really is humbling just how helpless you are with regards to much of the situation. Yes, there are behaviors we can engage in to make the outcome as good as possible, but a great deal of it is out of our hands. The only real solution is to let go, and trust in God.

Muytre wrote:

Your sovereign God gave his wife a tapeworm instead of a baby. He sure works in mysterious ways.

Do you ever get tired of being an idiot?

Muytre wrote:

Your sovereign God gave his wife a tapeworm instead of a baby. He sure works in mysterious ways.

And regardless of your attempt to troll me during this stressful time -- God bless and protect you, sir. I hope that you will also see someday that your life is far better by returning a blessing to unkindness.