How can I be a responsible adult and still run high mileage?

Just do the Kawauchi (basically what JORVAK said) - http://runningtimes.com/Article.aspx?ArticleID=23257.

As someone who has been there, my advice is to be more flexible with your running. Don't give it up, but stop worrying about your weekly mileage.

The time when your kids are young goes by way too fast. If you spend the time with your kids when they are young and develop close bonds with them it will pay dividends later when as they get older and peer pressure starts to really kick in. It is something you will never regret.

The added bonus is that you will have a stronger bond with your wife as well, which you may need to get you through the rough spots ahead.

You will still have plenty of time to run throughout the rest of your life. When you get older you can set new goals and challenges - yes you will never be as fast, but running can be just as fulfilling.

Why don't you change your training so it's less time consuming?

Cut it down to 50-60mpw and replace some of your easy runs with tempo runs. True tempo runs can be done 4 or more times/week without a problem.

You'll be in better shape too. Win win.

Didn't always have a shower either. Wet toweled down in the bathroom. Or I drove to a local park and ran from there and used their rest room. The key was taking a shower sometime during the day (usually in the AM after my morning run). So I was clean. But my focus was on running.

On the weekends my wife and I played tag team parents. One morning was my wife's. She ran and I watched the home front. Then I went out and ran when she was finished. The next day would be me first and she would watch the nest.

I got really good at running at times when I would normally be away from home during the week and traded with my wife on weekends.

Family, work, running.

Those were the three things I focused on.

The one poster was right. As the kids get older they'll need less of your baby sitting time and you will get more flexibility.

Also, and this was key: My wife understood how important running was to me and she never made me "choose".

Fast forward 15 or 20 years...will you regret not running more miles? or not spending more time with you family?

Your PR days are behind you, but your days as a father sound like they might just be getting started.

Also, here is a thought from the kid's perspective. My dad worked hard and everything, supported our family financially, and was there some of the time. Didn't treat us kids too badly except for some verbal and emotional abuse. Nobody's perfect.

He wasn't a runner, but his own personal interests and work got in the way of the time he spent with the kids. He also spent a lot of time on the road for work. As a result, I spent a lot more time with my mother as a kid. Unfortunately, I feel a lot closer to my mother than my father. There's a gap between he and I that will be very difficult to fix because of the person that he is. He senses it, but I don't think he knows how to fix it. It can be hard to fix something that developed over decades.

Now turning the conversation back to you. The time that you don't spend with your family for selfish pursuits will build over time, and might have unintended consequences in the future. Decide to run for the second time in a day rather than help a son with homework? He might not come to you for help in the future. Decide to run rather than playing cards or a board game with the rest of the family? They might not feel inclined to include you in the future.

The little things can create a lifetime of gaps between you and your family.

whatever mantra wrote:

Why do some people act like having children is the end of the world? Run for an hour when you wake up. Run for an hour after work. Your wife can't handle them alone for 1 hour in the PM without it creating major stress in the marriage? Jeez.

Some of us have jobs. They take time. So try this - get up at 6, run an hour. They get ready for work and head out the door. Work until 7 or 8. Kids are in bed when you get home (young ones) Now how much time have you spent with your kids? How much of a break did your wife get?

Yes, I know - it is stupid to work such long hours, but that is life for many of us.

Second, try staying home day in, day out with young kids - then see how you would feel about your wife getting home from her job and leaving again to go workout.

Threads like these always remind me how ridiculously obsessive many distance runners are about an activity that for 99% of them is nothing more than than a hobby and a way to stay fit.

Chuckster, you are apparently not a professional runner or Olympic hopeful and you are having trouble deciding what's the higher priority between work, marriage, family and running high mileage? I don't think you realize how stupid this sounds to normal people.

Imagine the following exchange with one of your kids 20 years from now:

Your Kid: "I didn't see my dad much. He was always out running."

Friend: "Wow, was he in the Olympics or something?"

Your Kid: "No, but he won his age group in a lot of local 10k races. He even set a course record."

Friend: "You must be really proud."

Your Kid: "Yeah, I guess so."

asdfsdf wrote:

Some of us have jobs. They take time. So try this - get up at 6, run an hour. They get ready for work and head out the door. Work until 7 or 8. Kids are in bed when you get home (young ones) Now how much time have you spent with your kids? How much of a break did your wife get?

Yes, I know - it is stupid to work such long hours, but that is life for many of us.

Second, try staying home day in, day out with young kids - then see how you would feel about your wife getting home from her job and leaving again to go workout.

This is exactly what I am talking about... right here.

I also want to explain that I value time with my kids MUCH more than running, so I don't need to be convinced. When it comes down to it, I'll skip runs to be with the family.

I guess I was just venting b/c i was able to put in about 7 this morning, and would love to get another 7 in but I also want to see my kids. I am leaving the office and typing as I am riding elevator in case you chastise me for wastuing time here, Hahaha

Thanks guys/gals

I used to take my kids with me to the local HS track. They played in the sand in the long jump pit while I ran intervals.

I swear every lap my daughter wanted to talk about something, usually wanting to tell on my son. You just smile and wave or tell them to wait a minute, you'll be right back.

Not perfect, but it works if you are in a bind for time, and it gives the wife a break from the kids.

Just lower your mileage. You don't need to do multiple 7milers.

I’m 52, have 4 kids, and have been running since 1975. I’ve been there.

Unless you have a pretty good chance of making our Olympic team, or winning a few marathons that pay pretty well, then you must put your family first, your work second and your running third.

You must ask yourself the very subjective question: Why do I run?

Next: How fast can I go using what time is left after I put the more important things first?

No disrespect meant but: Unless you are running 13X for 5K or 2:15 for a marathon then why not enjoy the many wonderful benefits that running can bring INTO your family life. For me, it was health, lots of energy to play with the kids, and, I hope, longevity to now be a vibrant part of my grandkid’s lives.

You might be surprised how fast you can go on less time.

When Roger Bannister looks back on his life he sees that medicine and family are more important to him than breaking the 4 minute mile. Even just prior to the sub 4 his focus was his medical studies more so than sport.

Running is JUST a hobby; something meant to enhance your life, not be your life.

If you really wanted to work, run and spend time with family there is always a way. And having a wife that runs like the OP just makes it that much easier to find ways to balance all 3.

I thought this might add something to the discussion, especially for you guys working such long hours. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124355233998464405.html

whatever mantra wrote:

Why do some people act like having children is the end of the world? Run for an hour when you wake up. Run for an hour after work. Your wife can't handle them alone for 1 hour in the PM without it creating major stress in the marriage? Jeez.

Agree with this 100%. Your wife doesn't come help you at your job, does she? So if she wants that to be her "job" then it's her job in my opinion. Can't have it all.

But at the same time, I think the hardest part of letting go of high miles is the first year. It is very possible to be happy, or dare I say happier, with just running 30-40 miles per week even if you haven't experienced it since before high school running began.

asdfsdf wrote:

Some of us have jobs. They take time. So try this - get up at 6, run an hour. They get ready for work and head out the door. Work until 7 or 8. Kids are in bed when you get home (young ones) Now how much time have you spent with your kids? How much of a break did your wife get?

Hold on a second, if you're getting home at 7-8 pm and the kids are in bed already, then there is no conflict. Go for your second run, they are already asleep. Any family time issues have to do with your job, not your running.

As for your 11-12 hour work day, hey, that's the choice you make. I'm sure you make more money than me, but then again you're the one complaining about how you never see your kids and on top of that you feel like you can't go running, which for most of us is one of life's pleasures.

Work balance my friend. Are those extra 4 hours a day of work worth the extra $40,000? Looks like you say yes. I would not.

My basic point was that children don't make your life stop. If you like running, you should be able to fit it in, especially because it is a relatively short activity, 1-2 hrs a day at most. As malmo likes to say, there are 24 hours in a day.

Another Spouse wrote:

As a mom of two I run 90-95 miles a week. I get up everyday before 5 and get my run in before my husband leaves for work. Yes, it is exhausting but it is what it is. I rarely double but when I do it's with the kids at the track playing soccer on the infield. You do not have to do doubles if you are doing 90 miles, no hard fast rule about that.

This is what I find really impressive, so you are running 12-13 miles almost every day? How fast do you run them?

This is what I find really impressive, so you are running 12-13 miles almost every day? How fast do you run them?

Yes, I average that. I have my gear ready to go and can be up and out the door running in 10 minutes. Easy pace around 7:15-8:00 depending on the day, tempos at low 6's. That being said I have a goal in mind. Like some of the other posters suggested, if I was doing this for a casual hobby I would run half the mileage I do. Family is too important. I sacrifice my sleep/social life but do my best to try not to take away from the family time.

I don't think Pete Magill runs 110 mpw. And he does pretty well on the 5k and 10k. Wouldn't you say?