I am a great runner but sometimes I just get psyched out and can't close the deal in major races.
I need some good excuses to use so people will think I am still a cool guy.
I am a great runner but sometimes I just get psyched out and can't close the deal in major races.
I need some good excuses to use so people will think I am still a cool guy.
"I was just about to kick but I want to be fresh for the trials." Or, "The pollen count (weez) was off the (weez) charts"
Here's some classics from a kid on my old HS xc team:
"I got boxed in." -it's a 5k race, but getting boxed in at the start completely f***s you the rest of the way
"I got pushed in a bush." -noone ever sees it but of course it happened in the woods and make sure to say you have a good mind to report that punk to an official if only you'd gotten a better look
"I've been sick all week." -but you really haven't, just make sure to cough around your buddies from time to time and at practice in front of your coach for several days leading up to the race
"I have no idea why I decided to eat that hot dog right before the race, otherwise I would have easily been top 5 at least." -if you know ahead of time the field is stacked and you straight suck then scarf down a hot dog in front of everyone and blame it later
Best of luck with your excuses, hope the people buy in.
Nipple chaffage
Hello my name is German.
"I've been dealing with a hamstring problem"
"I can't run the 5000 because the hard track gave my tender feet blisters in the 10000."
"I can't run the marathon because of air pollution."
"I can't finish this race because my knee hurts."
More like, "There's sand in my vagina."
The crap some people can cook up! If they'd quit making excuses and just man up they might actually accomplish something!
* The runner ahead of me looked like such a nice guy, I didn't have the heart to pass him.
* Venus is ascending and Mars is in retrograde.
* Someone slipped something into my water bottle.
* My girlfriend and I really wore ourselves out last night, I had nothing left today.
* Any really hard-to-pronounce condition or ligament giving you grief, i.e illiopectineal bursitis.
* Ninjas, man! They came out of nowhere! I'm lucky to be alive!
It was too hot.
It was too cold.
It was too medium.
I felt terrible before the race.
I felt great before the race, and that's always a bad sign.
"Supportive undergarment" too tight.
Too loose.
Strap broke.
Sunspots.
My coach doesn't understand me.
I don't understand my coach.
One of us is not American, and we don't understand each other.
* 9/11
* Bummed about 2012
* I was in a groove, but then I started thinking about the futility of life when weighted against the immensity of the universe and the finite nature of human existence.
* Magnetic bracelet must be on the fritz.
* Ipod music tempo was too slow.
"I was enjoying the race so much, I wanted to make it last longer."
* Your MOM and I really wore ourselves out last night, I had nothing left toady.
* My watch was giving me fast splits and I thought I must be more tired than I felt.
My shoe came off
I was training through it. Yeah right! What else have you lied about today?
Pollen count too high!!
im the biggest pussy of all time!!
I was wearing a mask!!
The track needed Rupp Certification!!
hahaha
haha YO wrote:
Stock LRC Response wrote:"I can't run the 5000 because the hard track gave my tender feet blisters in the 10000."
"I can't run the marathon because of air pollution."
"I can't finish this race because my knee hurts."
More like, "There's sand in my vagina."
The crap some people can cook up! If they'd quit making excuses and just man up they might actually accomplish something!
Love it. Geb is a pussy.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels the same way! Just an overrated time trialer, like German Fernandez!
seriously you must be a pretty little girl!!! hahaha
or this one wrote:
Or this one: "I didn't qualify for the race because my 5K PR is about 5 minutes too slow, so instead I sat at home and criticized the people who did qualify for the race."
or this one wrote:
Track Town wrote:Pollen count too high!!
im the biggest pussy of all time!!
I was wearing a mask!!
The track needed Rupp Certification!!
hahaha
Or this one: "I didn't qualify for the race because my 5K PR is about 5 minutes too slow, so instead I sat at home and criticized the people who did qualify for the race."
He got you. He got you bad.
My left testicle never droped
vox cursor wrote:
* I was in a groove, but then I started thinking about the futility of life when [weighed] against the immensity of the universe and the finite nature of human existence.
I liked that one.
Joe Newton (and others, but Joe popularized it in his books) came up with a long list that I adapted for my college runners. It included some excuses that have appeared in this thread, and a lot of others, for example:
*ate too much
*weak from lack of nourishment
*not enough time for warmup
*warmed up too much
*not enough training
*overtrained
*not enough sleep
*too much sleep
*building up slowly for track season [if you're in the middle of cross-country]
*building up slowly for 2012 Olympics
*building up slowly for 2016 Olympics
*building up slowly for masters' running
*building up slowly
*"friend" unfriendly last night
*"friend" too friendly last night
*started kick too soon
*started kick too late
*didn't think I'd have to kick
*didn't kick all-out, thought I'd look funny in the finish photo
*everyone jumped the gun but me
*can't run when behind
*can't run when ahead
*can't run
Etc., etc.!