Run2b... wrote:
My questions are:
Why is she not "the one?" The other relationships you felt were "right" for you did not work out, so they were obviously NOT right. However this relationship has gone well for 1.5 years, so there must be quite a bit RIGHT about it.
I think you are trying to put too much on your gut feeling, and not taking a look at all the parts of the relationship, the ones that area good for you vs the things you put up with to be with her. First of all, what is it that annoys you so much about being with her? I would get a notebook, put a line down the middle of the page, list all the good things and reasons for being with her, and in the other column list all the negatives.
Don't list things like "I don't see myself being with her the rest of my life" because that is too general and kind of assine. Instead of that, put things like "she doesn't get what I'm talking about most of the time", or "she snores" etc (only if appropriate). Be brutally honest.
It could be that she IS the one, but you're clueless. So it's your task to figure this out. In the meantime you should admit to her that you're clueless, apologize for hurting her, and tell her you want to work out however is best for the two of you, either way.
See, she might BE the right one for you, but you're just not aware of this. The first and most important thing you can do is to find out WHAT are the things that are most important to you. By going through this process, you will likely encounter some surprises, i.e. things you thought were important are not, and things that you thought were not important could turn out to be VERY important to you.
I would definitly NOT give the heave ho to the relationship until you have worked through the process. Also I see no reason to be apart while working through this, unless that's what she wants.