Go with the cute, stable girl or the hottie?

Iowan wrote:

Personally, I would meet both of the girls parents and her siblings. Do you get along with them? Do you see that you could be friends with them? In-laws can make or break a relationship very quickly! Also, are the moms still hot?

I would go with A if her family likes you and you like them.

He's 23!!! For chrissakes!

Do NOT take this advice - do NOT meet the parents or siblings.

Who cares if you get along with them....

...listen - at 23, you have probably 55-70 years left on this planet to "settle down".

Why not spend the next 7-10 years of your life doing things that YOU want to do - without any regard for a girlfriend? Why would anyone be in a hurry to get married? What, so you can get your name and picture in the paper when you celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary?

Slow down - at 23, don't be in a hurry to add to your responsibilities.

Take both out on a date. While in the car, whip "Bob" out. The girl who doesn't run away or scream is the winner.

Obviously he is considering getting serious with one of them or he wouldn't be on this board asking this question.

I'm not saying YOU verbally attacked me, just that you made judgements and many people DO attack atheists (ever watched Fox News?).

Helper man wrote:

...and to the other guy who tried to hijack the OP's thread: Why do you have to let your atheism ruin your relationship. I am not sure why you would have to disrespect her family's beliefs. Just shut your mouth and respect them for how they feel and they will likely do the same.

Yeah, why do I have to let MY atheism ruin the relationship? Why do I have to disrespect her beliefs? I DON'T. I thought I made it clear in my post I had no intentions of doing either, that's why I was frustrated with your response. Again, I have no problem with her religion. I think they will have a problem with my atheism (past experience and observation have lead me to this conclusion). If so, they will not like me, will pressure her into leaving me, and if she doesn't it will cause conflict between her and them. I don't really have control over any of that. I've seen similar things happen first hand between mormons who marry non-mormons. Who ever said I was going to try and convert her and criticize her family? You seem to have the idea that all atheists are Christopher Hitchens types.

And I apologize for possibly overreacting. I just think it's funny how there's such a double standard and people seem to have very skewed ideas of what kind of people atheists are (as if a lack of belief in something determines every other aspect of your personality).

From my observations, "high-maintenance" usually means low self-esteem if she is hot. And the guys with low self-esteems go for the hot high-maintenance girls to feel better about themselves, but it's one-sided, usually all about her. And if she's only thinking about herself, she's probably more likely to stray.

If you want a relationship that works, go for the girl you are comfortable and compatible with, the one that brings out the best in YOU as well. It's not hard.

Most of all, you shouldn't have to ask letsrun who you should be with. But since you are, I'm going to say go with A, but that's only based on how you have described the girls. "Hotties" are a dime a dozen (if you don't believe me, move to Texas), but looks fade. If you are only thinking about sex, think about how you'll spend the rest of each day together and pick who you would rather spend that time with.

young and unwise wrote:

I am 23 years old, recently graduated college.

Recently graduated FROM college.

go with B, queer.

go with the one that is best at cooking, cleaning, and sucking. and make sure she cant run faster than you.

I'm having the same problem with 2 guys that I have my gay little eyes on.

Guy A: hotness incarnate, but he's a little whore and I know he'd cheat on me with other guys. Still, a piece of this would be like eating Turkish delight.

Guy B: friendly, stable, but just a bit plain and nothing that really sparks my outlet if you know what I mean. I know I could learn to enjoy tapping that ass, but it might take some time.

What do I do?

Go with personality at the end of the day no matter how hot she is you will get tired of her and want to move on anyway. Might as well enjoy the company of a cool chick they are much harder to find than hot chicks.

I would say A, but I don't like the smell of horses.

You knew the answer before you posted to begin with.

You already know what the correct decision is...

There is no one right answer for everyone. I have friends who married at 21 and 22 and they are both in one of the most stable and happy marriages I have ever seen. I also have friends who settled down when they were 28-29 and they seem pretty happy. Then I have some single friends in the lower 30s who also are fairly happy. Don't assume there is one "right" answer regardless of what people here tell you. Get to know the girls, but don't limit yourself to those two. One of them might be a good fit, but it might also be that neither are. Relax, have fun, and respect both of them and you'll end up happy.

if you're asking this question then the former isn't an option

My mothers advice:

Do not start a new relatioship without ending the current one.

My father added: and make sure you f@#k em all.

Really get to know the hot one better. She's your best bet.

Emotion rules love not the head. Can you imagine what the stable girl would think if you pursued her not because you were so attracted to her but because you thought she was stable.

If you think this girl is hot, then go for her.

Two bits of advice.

First: Watch "High Fidelity." Then watch it again. It's the truth.

Second: No matter how hot, how pretty, how sexy she may be, someone, somewhere is sick of her shit. Will that person eventually be you?

I have to say that I am surprised by all the assumptions people are making just based on your 3-word descriptions. How do you know the hot girl is fake. lhas ow self esteem, and is a bad marriage partner. Why not marry a hottie?

f@&k em' both, it worked out well for me.