My boss is in love with me

Bosses should never seek a romantic relationship with their subordinates without first resigning. It is impossible to unring the bell of romantic interest in the superior/subordinate relationship. Every employment decision made after the successful or unsuccessful attempt at a romantic relationship will be tainted with either an implication of favoritism or retaliation.

Calling an employee into an office during business hours to try to start a romantic relationship is wrong and an abuse of the employer/employee power imbalance. It is also a terrible way to build a relationship in that the man is attempting to unilaterally force the relationship forward. The right thing to do is for the boss to resign and then contact the former employee to see whether there is any interest in seeing each other socially. That is what someone who wants to build a long term relationship would be willing to do. Someone who is in a failing marriage and looking for a soft landing would call their employee into their office and try to go from 0 to 60 in a relationship in one afternoon.

The longer I'm alive on this earth, the less clear-cut everything becomes.

I have a really close friend (female) whose boss at the time (male) basically said the same thing. Granted, he wasn't married. But they developed feelings for each other, just got married last year, and have their first kid on the way. They work together still just not in the same dynamic.

So, I won't say that it was wrong for him to express his feelings. But you need to draw the line somewhere if it's unwanted, and if he continues to go past it, then by all means take action.

office veteran wrote:

that's a bad situation. If he's confessing his love to you after only a few months, he's got poor judgment and not much self-control. I'm female and I've had lots of great male bosses who clicked with me, but none of them ever tried to make a move - we just enjoyed the good vibe and did our work. Chemistry is common in the office, but most professionals know that office affairs end up badly (when one or both people are married, that is - affairs can end up great when you're single.) You should start looking for another job.

This

1) he is not happily married;

2) don't worry about screwing up his marriage. He already did

3) You are not the first -- not by a long shot

4) you need a good career counselor

5) you also need a therapist

In the USA I shall tell people I love them at the first date?

Parlay it into preferential treatment

Where I work, having a relationship with a subordinate is grounds for termination. I am not sure it happens all of the time but in many cases termination is automatic.

The boss just can't go there.

Don't get involved with a married guy, ever. It is likely not the first time he has strayed, and guys in unhappy marriages are often terrible at going out the front door (i.e., getting divorced), preferring to act out instead (affairs).

Quality bump of a nearly 10 year old thread.

Male or female, if my boss wanted me. I'd totally go along with it. Think about how much easier the job would be! And promotions/pay raises would be so much easier.

Get pregnant and get him to pay you off for your silence.

Leverage this to your own advantage. Don’t be a victim. Take advantage. Check out The Blue Angel with Marlene Dietrich.

I'd say quit, but I'm sure you know the reason you were hired by now, so your prospects outside of the company are slim. Maybe stick it out and flash him some thigh at the company Xmas party this winter? Lol good luck dude.

How in the helll is a ten year old thread garnering earnest, even precious, responses? What is wrong with you posters? First, troll should always be trolled in return. Second, ten years later it makes you a little sad to respond. Lame resurrection of a lame troll.

2/10 original post

0/10 ten year anniversary responses

He is married? Report this to HR. The odds on anything good coming from this are really, really long.

Crap...missed that this was 10 years ago. My bad...I mean I'm sorry.

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How about some before and now pics to see how well you have aged? You know to see if the guy got lucky or robbed.

Tell him you can see things proceeding (as it seems you like him too) if he divorces his wife and finds a position unrelated to yours.