Worst British phrases

"Would you like a jelly baby?"

but that's one of my favorites.

get yer willy out hahahahaha

Bum,

You were on a tear last night, busting those poor Brits!

When a friend of mine was staying at a hotel in England,

a woman asked him, "Would you mind coming around to knock

me up in the morning?" He replied, "Sure, I'll try," but

learned, to his disappointment that it means to wake someone up by knocking on their door. (Can't vouch for the veracity of that story.)

BTW, in England a "rubber" is an eraser, as on a pencil.

Actually, that's pretty logical, if you think about it.

They have a food item called "spotted dick"

Anyone in Britain who asks to be knocked up in the morning gets what they deserve.

The language has been developing for about 1800 years and it's still changing. Most of the phrases you yanks think we use date from about 1920. No one seriously says "Cor' blimey" etc anymore either.

Elephants have trunks, cars have boots. (And Flagpole, tell your friend we call it a car too, although if we're dodgy geezers trying to flog it on the cheap, it might be described as a nice 'motor'.)

And our island's obviously more crowded than over there, so we don't have fenders, we have bumpers.

An American phrase I don't understand is "I could care less" meaning actually that I couldn't care less. What's that about?

Yep, my wife was being mean to me, so I was looking for someone I didn't know to take it out on.

Actually, me best friend is one of those brits. Funniest, nicest guy on the planet. He's in the british military and has great stories about "pickled onion races", apparently a right of passage in their military. Basically its a really race were you strip off all your clothes, then the second guy in line wedges an onion into your buttcrack and you run down to a bucket and drop the "pickled onion" in it, run back and let the next guy go. The losing team has to eat the other teams pickled onions.

If I don't have the details of the pickled onion race right, someone please correct me.

Ringer

"I could care less" is a bit like the infamous "Do I not like that?" comment from oh-so-many years ago. No one really knows what it means, but they're pretty sure it's not good.

The two countries/same language cliché is still valid, if my current secondment is any indication, but it is beginning to disappear.

As Ringer says, only the most toffee-nosed Tory voter in Tunbridge Wells would say "motorcar" these days and the infiltration of SkyOne, MTV and Channel 4 has meant that American vernacular has drifted into the daily language of Britain virtually unchallenged - although the "motorcar" would still be filled with petrol, not gas.

Having said that, I still hear some differences:

Americans use 'pissed' and 'mad' as synonyms for angry, while those of us from the other side of the Pond might think you were either 'drunk' or 'insane'.

I'll 'post' a letter -- I won't 'mail' one.

I'll 'ring' you on the telephone -- I won't 'call'.

I'll 'lodge' a cheque -- I won't 'deposit' a 'check'.

I'll 'collect' you at the station -- I won't 'pick you up'.

I'm into 'athletics' -- not 'track and field'!

Justin Timberlake is a 'tosser' ... well, maybe we agree on that one!

Martin

I am well aware of what it means, but my question is how could you possibly get...

"I don't want to be bothered with that."

from

"I can't be arsed to do that."?

I'm curious, is there a british equivalency to ending your sentences with "and shit."

Martin wrote:

Justin Timberlake is a 'tosser' ... well, maybe we agree on that one!

Martin

No truer words ever spoken. I'd add the f-bomb before "tosser", just for added punch.

Bum wrote:

I'd add the f-bomb before "tosser", just for added punch.

It seems like it would be a real physical challenge to be f@%#ing and a "tosser" at the same time.

Equivalent to "...and shit" >>>> "...and that"

Vaguely Northern.

Of things I actually like; calling people "youth." Regardless of age. This could well be a bit isolated to the Nottinghamshire/Yorkshire area though.

Ethnic Londoners (especially with roots in the sub-continent) will often add "innit" (a contraction of is it not) to the end of a sentence that doesn't really need a rhetorical question.

-- I'm looking for a job, innit?

It's kind of a catch-all that adds emphasis to the preceding statement.

Mockneys -- in other words, those who grew up in the shires but affect a London "cockeny" accent tend to use "ya know what I mean?" instead of "innit", but

-- I was pissed as a fart, ya know what I mean?

Celtic-influenced youth will often add "like".

-- I just need one more -like.

I'm not really sure where that one comes from.

Martin

Bugger all !!

Takin' a piss = foolin', joking, etc.

ie, you're not taking a piss on me are you? (you're not messin' with me are you?)

"Big girls' blouse"

It's the dogs bollocks

Strange one that. If something is complete bollocks it's crap, if it's the dogs bollocks it's cool. Never could figure that one out.

Ears2Yoo wrote:

I am well aware of what it means, but my question is how could you possibly get...

"I don't want to be bothered with that."

from

"I can't be arsed to do that."?

I think it derives from "pain in the arse"

so, "I can't be bothered with that, it's too much of a pain in the arse"

became; " I can't be arsed with that"

Bangers and Mash?