Does your family ignore your running?

I feel the same way sometimes. I'm a collegiate runner and I'm pretty good. My family has never seemed to care much that I run. They won't drive 30 minutes to see me race, but they'll drive 4 or 5 hours to watch one of my brothers compete at the state meet for a different sport (he's in high school). It is pretty demoralizing sometimes.

Are you hiding your light under a bucket? I'd burn a copy of this thread and give each of them a copy.

Oh boy wrote:

Are you hiding your light under a bucket? I'd burn a copy of this thread and give each of them a copy.

What would it matter. I'm just venting a little. I don't think it ever really got to me until just now when I find out that the one closest to me who also happens to be a runner (I watch her races, I even enetr her races and pace her now and then) dreads the thought of coming to watch me compete.

My parents have always supported me simply because I am their child. However, neither of my sisters nor my mom is athletic whatsoever, so they always politely ask 'hows the running going?' but whenever I give them an honest answer, they give a generic reply that indicates they have no idea what the hell I just said. I made it to states in my senior year in high school. We didnt have a distance team, I was the only girl distance runner at my school.. which is unusual in my area, most schools that we compete against have great teams. So no one, not my friends, not my family, knew how incredibly proud of myself I was to make it as far as I did. My coach was the only one who knew what it meant to me, and supported me all the way. Im running in college now, and my parents see it as an activity to fill my time, not as something that helps define who I am.

So no, you are certainly not alone. But in all fairness, my dad cycles... he does like centuries and stuff in the summer, and I dont know if I show him enough respect and support. So, I suppose I should take something from this conversation.

I hope that even if your family doesnt think much of your running, you keep the motivation and drive that you have now. Its worth it, and it would be a shame to lose it.

Thanks for that. Same to you. As usual the support from the running community is big. We truly understand each other. You're right it is worth it.

For all the pain, injuries and time we go through there is no feeling in the world better then flying along in a race completely under control. I don't want to give that up. Not yet. That's just for me.

My family doesn't come to any of my races either. I go to all of the kids events and take an intersts in some of my wife's activities. (Although she doesn't have any I can think of) I do the shopping thing with her.

I do have fun without them there but once in a while it would be nice.

Yes, I agree with you, until I broke 4 minutes in the mile in high school my parents did not care. Finally, they started thinking I had maybe an inkling of talent after I got onto the Dave Letterman show the summer before college.

Sincerely,

Alan

Thanks. I'm glad I could help. I know what you mean, I never would have found the stability and confidence that running gives me if my high school coach hadnt helped me out with it so much. So any time I can in any way help another runner, I love to do it.

It amazing how runners can identify with one another. The races, workouts, and dedication are for me, no one else. I certainly havent always found it easy to do something just for me, but it really is worth it. And I certainly have respect for anyone else that can do that.

As for the guy with the kids: you never really know what they think of you, like I said, I really respect my dad for what he does, I have just never said it to him.

Kid07 wrote:

As for the guy with the kids: you never really know what they think of you, like I said, I really respect my dad for what he does, I have just never said it to him.[/quote]

I recently lost my father so trust me, you should tell him or write him a nice hand-written note saying how you feel. It will mean more to him than you can imagine.

2/10

GAY

lonely runner wrote:

Thanks for that. Same to you. As usual the support from the running community is big. We truly understand each other. You're right it is worth it.

For all the pain, injuries and time we go through there is no feeling in the world better then flying along in a race completely under control. I don't want to give that up. Not yet. That's just for me.

my dad was a writer and jazz musician who had smoked since he was 16. my mom was an art major in college who was also a smoker. when i started doing well in high school they didn't really know how to handle it. my dad tried to act interested at times,but he really was puzzled by the whole thing. it wasn't his bag; but my mom thought it was a waste of time and just thought i was too obsessed with running. I won state; they weren't there. I made all american in college, indoors; the meet was in our hometown of Detroit. my parents came, my mom as always brought a book to read. I never really resented it. It helped keep me humble. My kids who are in high school now, (3 girls), have never asked about my career, what my times were or even said anything when i was inducted into my college hall of fame this past year. keeps me humble...lol....but it sure contrasts with other parents i saw who were always there when there son competed. it would have seemed strange to me to have my dad there watching practice at times and at every meet.

Some people dont 'get it' and they never will. But I am sure that they are in awe and support you, maybe they just dont show it in an obvious way.

My mum never (I thought) supported it but then it was only after she died that I found out how she bragged about me. She died shortly after my first marathon and the nurses told me after she died how she talked about me all the time. But I never new it was a big deal to her.

And since you are so talented maybe they take all your accomplisments for granted and dont really fully see the hard work it takes to get that far? you run so as not to interfere with your life so they dont see the time you put in, or they dont think about it. But I betcha they are proud!

I started running in 1968 so there wasn't even a running movement in this country. Except for a few good friends who were very supportive, no one cared about my running but I quickly realized it was just for me and I had to self supporting on this. I heard everything from when are you going to grow up to this is will destroy your knees. Well neither happened. I never really grew up and my knees still work.

It wasn't until I started racing in 1972 that I realized there was a small but growing community of people who felt the same as I did about running. Still, very few of my girlfriends understood and many were threatened by it (me taking time to run when I could have spent that hour with them. It took another 8 years (1980) for me to meet a woman who was not bothered by running and supported it because she knew I loved doing it.

I married her.

Bottom line: Do it for yourself and stop asking others for permission. You're married so you do have compromise somewhat..OK, a whole bunch...

But that shouldn't stop you from reaching your running goals. Figure a way and keep on running and racing.

Thanks guys, I knew there are a lot of people in the same boat. I'll keep it going. I know I'll regret it later if I don't. I'm still trying to run my best race. When I no longer enjoy it then I'll hang up the shoes.

One day I won a local race that was on a national holiday. I defeated over 2,000 people and was quite stunned by my win. I had gone to the race alone. When I got to the family home, my parents, brothers, cousins, uncle, and aunt were already at the dinner table. One of them nonchalantly asked me "how'd you do?" I answered "actually, I won." The response from another family member was "great. Pass me a drumstick." I didn't really expect any other reaction.

Yeah, but I bet when you are not around, they brag about you.

my case is the opposite

I am 38 yrs old and can still crack 16, but when I have to go to the kids parents night or some social get together, I always have to hear "how fat" everyone is, and "i used to run, but that was before I started smoking, etc."

Id prefer if they actually never brought it up and talked about something interesting.

I love the fact that my family and friends support my running. However, to the people who don't know me...I try to keep the fact that I'm a runner to myself, unless somehow it comes up in conversation.

Perfect example is my co-workers, I really wish that they never found out I was a runner because now they make such a huge deal about how I can run 5:00 pace for 10k. It is times like these that I wish I was just another employee.